46: From Situationship to Commitment (Ep.1): Why “Almost There” Keeps Happening

Have you been stuck in “almost there” relationships—close, connected, full of chemistry… but never clear, consistent, or committed? In Episode 1 of Rooted & Rising, I talk about the pattern behind situationships and the deeper truth most people avoid: sometimes it’s not fear of being alone… it’s fear of being fully chosen.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• What “almost there” actually looks like (and why it’s not neutral)
• The difference between connection and commitment
• How ambiguity becomes an “escape hatch” for the nervous system
• Why you can “upgrade the packaging”… and still repeat the same cycle
• A clean boundary for 2026: no more calling “almost” progress

✨ Want the step-by-step shift beyond the episode? The Rooted & Rising eGuide is available now:

From Almost There To All The Way: A Bold Guide to Ending Situationships and Choosing Commitment — A Rooted & Rising Guide

Grab it in the show notes.

Next episode: why rooted love can feel unfamiliar (and how to tell the difference between peace and “no chemistry”).

Chapters

• 0:00 New Year And Episode Focus
• 0:56 Meet The Host And Show Intent
• 1:44 Year Of Endings To Beginnings
• 3:14 Naming Shame In Dating Patterns
• 4:13 Defining Almost There Relationships
• 5:29 The Guide: From Almost To All The Way
• 6:17 Seeing The Pattern And Its Roots
• 7:20 Fear Of Being Fully Met
• 8:16 Nervous System And Safety Cues
• 9:35 Leaving Situationships In 2026
• 11:01 You’re Not Broken, You’re Conditioned
• 12:07 Recalibrating To Rooted Love
• 13:26 Next Topic: Fear Of The Unfamiliar
• 14:24 Closing Gratitude And Invitations

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome back to 2026, everybody. Happy New Year. In this episode, we are talking about relationships. Now, the focus will be romantic relationships. However, this information that we're going to talk about can really lay across the boundaries or the groundwork of any and all relationships. And have you ever realized you're not actually afraid of being alone? You might actually be afraid of being chosen, like fully chosen. And why do we keep calling it bad luck? When actually it's a pattern and it could be one that you're choosing. And what if the reason you keep ending up in almost their type of love or almost their kind of relationships is because your nervous system still mistakes anxiety for chemistry. Join me on this episode, here we go. Welcome to Rooted in Rising. I'm your host, Tara Michelle, intuitive guide, storyteller, and fellow traveler on this wild path of becoming. This is a space for the soul led, for the ones unraveling old stories tending to their healing and rising, not perfectly, but powerfully into who they are here to be. Here we explore what it means to live with intention, to love with depth, and to trust that even the hard things are shaping us. I'll share pieces of my own journey, the cracks, the beauty, the breakthroughs, and invite voices who are walking this path too. Because I believe life isn't happening to us, it's happening for us. So come as you are, root in and rise up. And thank you. Truly thank you for being here. Welcome back to Rooted in Rising, everybody. So excited to be with you this new year. I hope all of you had an amazing holiday season. I hope you wrapped up that last year, 2025, which was a huge doozy. Hopefully, you made it to the other side. I know I did. But I really want to wish all of you just a wonderful new year. And in this episode, we're gonna explore some really raw truths for myself. Um, I looked at last year, closed out a lot of things. As some of you may or may not know, 2025 was the year of the snake. It was the year of endings, it was a year to shed everything that could no longer come into what 2026 is, which is the year of beginnings. So 2025 equals nine. Two plus two plus five is nine. That's a year of endings. 2026 is a year of beginnings. Two plus two plus six is ten equals one. It's one. It's a new beginnings kind of year. So we're gonna do some things a little different this year. I really want to dive into some truthful topics, and one specifically that I went to work on a lot over the last couple years is romantic relationships. And uh, for those of you that are new listeners, uh, my name is Tara Michelle. I'm the host of Rooted in Rising. Welcome to the show. I'm just gonna jump in and we're gonna get started. I want to admit something I didn't want to admit. Something I didn't even realize I was caring until I finally saw it. I have felt a lot of shame and embarrassment around my romantic life. And what's wild is I wasn't even aware that I was ashamed. It was just living under the surface, like quietly driving the show. Now, over this last year, 2025, I've done a lot of work around romantic relationships, a lot of reflection, a lot of honesty, a lot of, let me stop pretending I don't see what I see. And those that know me that have watched me walk this, they have watched me really put myself through the fire to get to what I'm about to talk to today, talk about today. And in the last few months of this year, or I should say the last few months of 2025, something hit me with such clarity that I couldn't unsee it. I've been choosing almost their relationships. Almost there, close, but not a full body yes. And let me be clear, this isn't me saying I believe in instant relationships. I I don't. I don't believe you meet somebody and it's automatically a relationship, but I do believe you can meet somebody and recognize enough of what you're both looking for that you both say, you know what, let's explore this intentionally. Not a situationship, not as an emotional guessing game, and not as a what are we conversation every week. Not as this limbo that keeps your heart on hold. Because what I've recognized is that pre-2025 and even into 2025 has been a lot of situationships. And I'm seeing now situationships are not neutral. They are almost in disguise. Almost there is when it's close, but there's no clarity. Almost there relationships are chemistry, but no commitment, connection, but inconsistent, intimacy, but not full presence. I call those almost there relationships. And if you're already sitting there like Tara, this is literally my life, I wrote a guide for this. It's called From Almost There to All the Way: A Bold Guide to Ending Situationships and Choosing Commitment. The link is in the show notes if you want to go a little deeper. So check that out. But when I finally saw all of this, I did what I always do when something becomes undeniable. I reach out to a dear friend and I share what I'm going through. And so I reached out to my friend and said this. Not for sympathy, not for advice. I just need to get it off my chest. And I typed the words out. I'm still choosing almost their men instead of choosing all the way men. And the moment I typed that, I saw something for myself. I saw shame, I saw embarrassment, and I was like, oh my god, this is still here. This is still running in my subconscious. This is still the context I've been operating from. And I felt exposed in my own honesty. Not because I said it to my friend, but because I finally said it out loud to myself. Like this is what's running the show. And then I had to sit with a question that I've avoided asking because it's so confrontational. And the question is, why the F does this keep happening, Tara? Why the F does it keep happening? At what point does getting closer become the thing I say I want? Because I keep noticing it like this. Oh, this what this was better. Oh, this experience, this one was definitely closer. Oh, this is more emotionally available. This one was, yes. Oh, and and this one has way more potential. And it's like I keep upgrading the packaging, but the pattern stays the same. Closer and closer, but still no actual relationship. And that's when it hit me. This isn't just about who I've been dating. This is more about who I've been being, it's about what my system has been ready for and what it has not been ready for. And when I say system, I'm referring to my nervous system. And here's the truth that feels embarrassing to say out loud is that I was afraid. I have been afraid of the all the way kind of love. I had been afraid of the all the way kind of man. I have been afraid of being fully met. Because all the way is not just romance, it's exposure, it's being seen, it's being chosen, it's being held accountable to what I say I want. It's not having the escape hatch of ambiguity. And the deeper truth, it's not even about choosing, it's being ready to receive. Because I can say I want commitment all day long. I can say I want partnership all day long. But if my nervous system still thinks full presence is dangerous, then I will keep selecting relationships that come with an expiration date baked right inside. And I have to be honest with myself. I think I've been getting ahead of rejection by choosing situations where rejection is always a possibility. Because if it's unclear, I can brace. If it's inconsistent, I can stay alert. If it's a situation ship, I don't have to surrender. I can keep scanning, interpreting, hoping, trying to figure it out. And that frankly is so freaking exhausting. Truly. So this is what I know. That can't go into 2026 with me. No, I can no longer bring situationships with me. I can no longer call almost progress just because it's better than what I used to tolerate. Because almost there is still a detour. It still delays the life I say I want. And I'm not saying this from a place of perfection. I am not. I am saying this from a place of truth. I want and will have a strong, committed, connected partnership. And if it isn't moving towards clarity, I'm not staying in it. Not because I'm harsh, not because I'm cold, but because I'm done abandoning myself in the name of potential. And if you are listening to this and it is hitting you, I want you to sit with a few questions. Gently, honestly, ask yourself. Yeah. That's a big one. Because listen, if this is you, you're not broken. I promise, you're not broken. You're conditioned, you've adapted, and your system learned what to expect. And the beautiful thing is, is you can recalibrate. So I'm acknowledging all of this because acknowledging it changes it. Calling it out and calling one out on yourself is stepping out of the fog. It's choosing my own clarity. That's what I'm doing. And if you want support beyond this episode, something you can actually use, my e-guide is called From Almost There to All the Way: A Bold Guide to Ending Situationships and Choosing Commitment. It's linked in the show notes. Click it, grab it, and let it walk you through the shift because we're not doing almost anymore. And in the next episode, we're going to talk about something that most people don't understand until they're living it. And that is the fear of the unfamiliar. Because for many people, the shift into being rooted doesn't feel instantly comfortable comforting. It doesn't. It can actually feel quiet. It can feel slower. It can feel less charged. And sometimes that's confusing. If you've spent years navigating relationships that were uncertain, uh, maybe emotionally intense or inconsistent, your nervous system may have learned to associate activation with connection. That's what mine had done. So when rooted energies enter, steady, present, emotionally available, that can all feel really unfamiliar at first. And oftentimes it can feel boring. And that doesn't mean that something is wrong. It means your system is recalibrating. Rootedness doesn't come with fireworks, it comes with an exhale. And that exhale is often mistaken for a lack of chemistry when really it's the absence of anxiety. So meet me in episode two because we're going to talk about how to recognize the difference and how to let your body catch up to the truth. I want to say thank you all for sticking around to the end. I love all of you. I'm excited about this new journey. I'm excited about this next episode. As I mentioned, click that link below, grab your guide, and catch up with me on that next episode. And I look forward to seeing you. Have a beautiful and blessed week. We'll see you soon. Thank you for rooting in and rising with me today. If something in this episode stirred something in you, take a breath, take what you need, and let the rest soften. Be sure to follow the show so you don't miss what's next. And if you feel called, share this episode or leave a review. It helps the space grow and reach others on the path. Until next time, may you walk with trust, speak with love, and rise in your own time. I'm so grateful you were here with us, and thanks for being here. We'll see you on the next episode.