Rooted & Rising: Stories of Transformation, Intuition, and Soul-Led Healing
Formerly the Intuitive Mentor Mom Podcast, now Rooted & Rising is a space for those ready to stop living life on autopilot and start living it by design. Hosted by Tara Mychelle — woman, mother, entrepreneur, friend, daughter, corporate professional, and energy practitioner — this podcast is born from the roots of challenge and the rise of self-discovery.
Here, we explore the truth that life isn’t happening to us, it’s happening for us. When we release the victim within, we reclaim our power as the hero of our own story. Through healing and transformation, we create an inner world so rich and aligned that our outer world naturally reflects it.
With personal stories, raw reflections, and inspiring conversations, each episode invites you to deepen your roots in self-awareness, self-love, and truth — and rise into your fullest self-expression. Together, we’ll explore everything from love, relationships, and parenting to health, spirituality, and the courage it takes to live fully awake.
This is your invitation to heal, transform, and create a life you love — from the inside out. Get rooted. Rise high. And live the story you were born to tell.
Rooted & Rising: Stories of Transformation, Intuition, and Soul-Led Healing
42: The Power of the Pause w/ Karen Bartholomew | Healing Burnout, Feminine Energy, & Conscious Living
What if slowing down is actually the secret to moving forward? In this deeply grounding episode of Rooted & Rising, host Tara Mychelle sits down with transformational coach and author Karen Bartholomew to explore The Power of the Pause—a simple yet life-changing practice that helps you reset your energy, reconnect with your intuition, and make aligned choices without burning out.
Karen opens up about how early childhood stories of not-enoughness shaped her success-driven adulthood—and how a four-month intentional pause helped her rediscover her voice, self-worth, and purpose. From that transformation came The PAUSE Method, a practical framework for mindful living, emotional healing, and conscious decision-making.
Together, Tara and Karen unpack:
- How to recognize the signs that you need a pause before burnout hits
- Why acceptance isn’t giving up—it’s powerful self-leadership
- How your body signals truth long before your mind catches up
- Simple grounding rituals and micro-habits to anchor calm in your day
- The balance between masculine and feminine energy in business, parenting, and relationships
- How to set boundaries that protect your peace, purpose, and sacred time
If you’ve ever believed you have to earn rest or push through until you crash, this episode will help you reframe rest as radical productivity and self-trust. You’ll leave with real stories, simple tools, and an embodied reminder that slowing down isn’t falling behind—it’s finally catching up to your authentic self.
Find Karen Here: The Power of The Pause
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Looking for confirmation, guidance, or support in an area of life where you feel stuck, stagnant, or simply unclear of what to do next? Let's connect: book a complimentary Discovery Session with me, today!
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In a world that glorifies achievement and doing, what happens when we finally stop and pause? In today's episode, we're diving into a conversation that invites you to breathe, to notice, and to remember that wisdom often lives in the space between action. So let's get started. Welcome to Rooted in Rising. I'm your host, Tara Michelle, intuitive guide, storyteller, and fellow traveler on this wild path of becoming. This is a space for the soul led, for the ones unraveling old stories tending to their healing and rising, not perfectly, but powerfully into who they are here to be. Here we explore what it means to live with intention, to love with depth, and to trust that even the hard things are shaping us. I'll share pieces of my own journey, the cracks, the beauty, the breakthroughs, and invite voices who are walking this path too. Because I believe life isn't happening to us, it's happening for us. So come as you are, root in and rise up. And thank you. Truly thank you for being here. Welcome back to Rooted in Rising. So good to be with all of you again. I have a very special guest today, Karen Bartholomew, a transformational coach and creator of the pause method, guiding people to slow down, reconnect, and realign with what truly matters. Together, we explore how the simple act of pausing can shift everything: your perspective, your energy, and even your path forward. So let's take a breath. And this is the power of the pause unrooted in rising. I'm so excited to be here with you, Karen. Thank you so much for joining us on the show. And I'm excited to talk to you about the power of the pause.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I'm honored to be here. I love sharing this message to get it out there so we can have this big movement of women across the United States and outside of the United States. 100%.
SPEAKER_05:Tell me, so tell tell the listeners, tell myself, tell us more about who you are. And I I want to hear more about your story and how you got here and really, you know, how you got connected to this, to this work and what you've created.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So, you know, I've been in the mortgage business for like almost 20 years now. And um it was, it's been great to be in that um in that space. However, like I, you know, it takes me back to like when I was 12 years old and you know, uh my mom, I'm one of five. I have two brothers, one 15 months older, one 18 months younger. And, you know, and you know, she, you know, parents do the best they can. They love us in the way that they are able to love us, right? However, the boys were favored. Let me tell you. Yeah. And, you know, and then there was another, you know, my sister was born six years younger than me, and then another one 12 years younger than me. So by the time I was 12 and she came and told us all that she was pregnant again, you know, I already, in my own mind, my own imagination, I decided that there was enough love in the house for me. And so when she was gonna have another one, she announced that she was having another one. I'm like, oh my God, I ran to the bathroom, locked myself in the bathroom, you know, just fell on the floor and started crying because I'm like, where do I fit into this family anymore?
SPEAKER_05:It was one of those things that people and you were the were you the oldest, or what what number are you? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So, you know, I didn't know what that all meant, but I know that as I left the house and went into the adult world and like not knowing how to adult, just trying to survive and figure it out.
SPEAKER_05:All of us, yes.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I mean, like I, you know, I I figured it out later in 2010, like what all that was, why I kept like attracting the same men, why relationships didn't work out, you know, why the same jobs and blah blah blah. And I just kind of got sick of me, like seriously, like I am sick of this. I was a mom of three small children, a single mom with a newborn, a five-year-old, and an 11-year-old. And that's and yeah, I'm like, that's a whole nother.
SPEAKER_05:I was gonna say that's a whole nother episode. I'm a single mom, so I know that's a whole nother episode, especially with three. I'm like, when I see single women with, you know, you know, one or more, not even one, but when you have more, I'm like, how I know what it takes to have the one. And I don't know how y'all do it, but keep going. Keep going.
SPEAKER_01:Well, you know, you know, I just learned how to get really structured and organized. Um I would had the opportunity to actually stay home with my last one for five years after my divorce. And then when she got in full-time school, I decided to go back to work. That's when I got in the mortgage business. Um, but I really I had an opportunity. This amazing friend of mine asked me to take this class. And just because I was so sick of me, I'm like, whatever it takes, I don't care. Like, I need to take something. I need to take something out.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And so I took this class and I was really able to find out how I played life. Like seriously, I knew answers, but I wasn't speaking up. I wasn't using my voice. I was in the background saying, you know, you know, if this was the apprentice, back because the apprentice was on then. Right. Back then. I hired all those people. And one of the facilitators heard me say this and said, Well, then why aren't you up there? I'm like, whoa, like a dagger to my heart, right? And I'm like, why am I not up there? Right? Why am I not leading from the front and just staying small in the back, right?
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Um, something told me to do that. Like, and I had to look back at that and go, where did that come from? Well, it came from me, you know, figuring that I wasn't loved and I didn't matter and I didn't have any value. And so I just played really small all my life, you know, and then I was like, this is ridiculous. What I learned was it was just all in my mind. Right. You know, my brain is here to protect me, right? And like keep me safe. And that was to keep me small, because those are the words that I created stories out of, and I took that into the adult world. So what I realized was like, you know, they're just words. And maybe that was all true if I look back and find pick up the evidence to go, yeah, I know why I made up those, you know, stories. But like, that's not true today because when I look around, I do matter. I had three amazing children. I was actually teaching anger management for you know adolescents. I was, you know, um in small claims corp doing being a mediator. I was putting on trainings, you know, for the community, like to be able to communicate more. And I realized I didn't look at all the accomplishments I had because I was so busy living life. Right. You know, and so I really got to take a look at how I was playing life and mentally and physically take it on and take some leadership courses. And I went on this four-month pause to go, I'm taking me on.
SPEAKER_04:I love that.
SPEAKER_01:And when I started that journey, what I found out by me changing my story and actually really living in truth, I really didn't have anything to fear because fear comes from our past forward. I don't know what's gonna happen after we get off this call. I don't know what's gonna happen while we're on this call, right? No, while we have a what do I have to fear?
SPEAKER_05:Yes, right.
SPEAKER_01:So this is when I realized that I went through this journey and I'm like, I want to help other women do that as well. And so I became a coach for like 10 years. Um and I did this work, and then I leveled it up now to actually help women um, you know, break free of the constraints from the messages we tell ourselves that we have brought forward, you know, which actually is a lot of lies and it's words we make stories, the narratives, and all that stuff. And so I put this methodology together and I'm like, this is it. And now I'm like, I'm gonna, you know, write a little pamphlet book for women, and I have I'm doing courses and I'm coaching and I'm speaking and I'm I'm loving it. So it's really what I realized through my whole journey of even the trauma I had um as a small child before 12, um, which is a whole nother story, that that was all happened to me so I can be here.
SPEAKER_04:Right. Like even I love that you say that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, even a small child that needed attention that sat on the wrong lap of a distant relative that actually abused me. I'm like, wow, I can look back and go, not my fault. Right.
SPEAKER_05:Well, you see how it happened for you. You see how it happened for you. And that's that's really the premise of the the the root in rising, but the root of this podcast is for us to really get that life is happening for us, it's not happening to us, even in those really dark situations. There's something that it's propelling and it's pushing you to see, right? To stand in truth.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So that's how the pause method, you know, came about, you know.
SPEAKER_05:Well, yeah, and share more about the pause because I love when you just said you took a pause to then focus on you. What say more about that? Like what when you say that, because obviously when people hear the word pause, they think stop, right? But in that moment of stop, stop what? And and what are you yeah, tell us more about what you put in that moment. What you doing?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so um I had yeah, it's like I had another moment I remember in my car, you know, that I was dropping my kids off probably school. Um, and I pulled my car over and I was just holding back peers because my tears because I I couldn't even remember what made me happy anymore. The day that day gave myself permission to go, okay, I just need to stop. Right. I just need to take a moment just to like just hear my own thoughts instead of any other noise, right?
SPEAKER_05:There's so much noise in the world.
SPEAKER_01:So much noise.
SPEAKER_05:Like all day long. Noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And I don't I don't even know what my truth, I don't even know what I'm saying to myself anymore, because I'm just going, going, going. And because I came from that space, I was people pleasing all the time and saying yes to everything. And then I was just so busy and so exhausted. I'm like, whoa, right. And so that moment changed everything for me because, you know, I talked about, you know, the the the wonderful man that, you know, told me of the class. But um, what I can say is that I realized in that constraint I was living in, right? That that was what was driving my life. And if I really wanted to redesign my life for myself and for my kids, because once I started redesigning, it just happened. I didn't even have to do anything with them. I just became this different person, right? Out of this loving place. Um, and before that, I was just doing all the things, raising my kids, building my career in the mortgage world, managing everybody else's needs, everybody but my own. And so I just really needed to take a moment to stop for a moment and look at, yes, I had all the success, but I was depleted. And so my first pause was walking to the mailbox. Just walking down the road to the mailbox, just to go, what do I need today?
SPEAKER_04:I love that.
SPEAKER_01:It will make me see joy today. And so that's where it started, actually. Um that's where the journey began. It gave me permission. I gave myself permission to just stop the noise, maybe say no to a couple things. And what I realized by pausing all the time was that I now look at this and go, if something comes into my life, I'm like, is that aligned with the design that I have moving forward for my family, for myself, my career, and for my sacred time with me. And if the answer is no in any area, then no is no.
SPEAKER_05:And that's the hard part right there.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah. Totally.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, because I love when you say is desire where I'm going, what I want. Yeah. You know, that that dream or that vision that I have.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I mean, we live yeah, we live in a culture that rewards busy and glorifies exhaustion, basically. Right. We really do, right? Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. From six o'clock in the morning until nine o'clock at night, we're so tired, we we're just exhausted.
SPEAKER_05:Exhausted.
SPEAKER_01:Causing can feel really rebellious in the world. But my quote that I say all the time: slowing down isn't falling behind. It's catching up to who you were always meant to be. And in order to stop and let that woman come to the surface again, right? That feminine woman, right? And maybe stop doing some masculine things that we weren't designed to do and let someone else do those things. Because I think, especially single woman, you know, single mom, right? You can attest to this probably, yep, as most women can. We take on these masculine roles, and then we're so masculine that we forget what the feminine is.
SPEAKER_05:I'd love for you to share, you know, because I think when people hear the masculine, I recently had somebody somebody I was dating, and I had mentioned him, I you know, when I'm with you, I I want to be in the feminine role because I have to be masculine all the time. And he said, you don't have to be masculine for your son, because he didn't really understand what I meant by masculine.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Right. So I want you to share with the listeners when you say, especially single moms or even single dads that might be listening, when you talk about that masculine and that feminine energy, talk about what you know, what does that mean? How did that show up for you? I know how it shows up for me, but how'd that show up for you?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, well, a couple things. So in business, right, it showed up because I had my own business and I had to like bring that dominant personality out so I could run a business. All the time, right?
SPEAKER_04:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so in doing that, right, and then running the household as well, right? Sometimes it dips into that. So what happened was people saw me the strong woman, right? No room for a man to even come into my life because I had it all, I had it all taken care of.
SPEAKER_05:Have it all figured out, yep.
SPEAKER_01:Have it all figured out, right? And I'm like, no, I don't. Like when I go home, I'm not I'm not this strong woman, right? And so there's two, not that I'm saying that I'm two different people. No, I know what you mean. You if you were to come into my home versus work, you would I would be the one at home going, Are you comfortable? Do you need a blanket? Let's do a fire pit. Do you have wine? Do you need what do you need, right? I'm that supportive woman, that feminine woman that wants to take care of nurture everybody. Nurture, right?
SPEAKER_04:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:And so I was able to do both, but when I'm out in the world, I nobody ever would ask me out since I was single for 26 years. Um, you know, uh, so because I was carrying that masculine energy. And so, and in the business world, as women can you know attest to, um, if we are dominant or we are, you know, um really like out there, we're being told we're aggressive. Yeah, right. And then we're being told we're that boss B, right?
SPEAKER_05:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Um, instead of the boss babe. I was gonna say, not a boss babe, boss bitch, yeah. The boss bitch, okay. I don't know what you say instead of me, just in case. Um, but you know what? No, the man does that and he's like, oh, it's great. Like he can do whatever he wants, and you get whatever, right? Right. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, and so the feminine in the corporate world, like what I'm saying is we hide behind, like, we're pregnant, we gotta hide in the conference room, we gotta go to the bathroom and hide that we're you know, throwing up in our first trimester, right? Right. And I know this because my daughter is pregnant right now, which I'm so excited about. Congratulations. Thank you. It's exciting, and yes, thank you, thank you. And so, um, yeah, so it's like being able to bring that feminine out, walk around against your around your employees, ask them how they're doing, right?
SPEAKER_05:Like bring that nurturing, caring piece up because what I'm hearing too, like what you're saying is it's okay to ask for help.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_05:We're so afraid to ask for help, yes, or we're so afraid to have people know that we need help. And like I think that's when you step into a feminine space because you surrender that need to, I gotta get it done. I'm the only one that can get it done. Nobody else can do it, so I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna do everything. And I that's what I hear because I know that for myself as a single parent. I tend to forget to like it's okay for me to say, can you do the dishes for me? Yeah, it's okay for you to for me to say, can you drive us to wherever we're going? Yes, you know, like can I would you mind opening the door for me? Because it really I told we're no longer dating, but I told him, I was like, I really love it when you open the door for me. He's like, really? I was like, Yeah, it has me feel like a woman. You know, it's like the simplest thing. But it's just it's just that one thing of feeling like I can just rest and relax into an energy where I don't have to be doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because here's what happens. Here's the visual the man that's on his phone and the woman that's carrying two grocery bags, maybe a kid on her shoulder on her hip, and pulling a wagon. No, we don't have that many hands, but I'm just saying, right? It's like, hello, yeah, what's going on here? Right?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like I remember my son when he was at his junior prom and um I didn't know the girl they was taking. Um, and you know, we go to take pictures and she goes to get in the car. I'm like, do not touch that. And I said it in front of everybody. I'm just like, do not touch that door. Like, dude, get your booty over here.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, right? Open the door for her. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But his dad was there. Like, dude. But he wasn't going to, and I was not gonna allow my son to be that guy.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So he opens the door. And now, from now on, that's what he does. So there are some things we do need to teach them. Yes. Then after it's like have a conversation with his dad that says, Hey, you know what? Next time, can you take that in case?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It's funny you say that because from you, not me.
SPEAKER_05:Right. Well, and I'm trying to teach my son that now. You know, there's no man in his life, unfortunately. Uh, you know, his dad's not around, but uh he's just an MIDA dad. But I've been trying to teach him that, you know, like open doors for people. And the other day he opened the car door for me. And I was like, oh, oh my god, he just opened the door for me. But I was like, it's working, you know, it's working. But and it's it's it's the chivalry piece, but it's also recognizing, you know, I was talking to him about when you're walking out in the world in public and walking behind a woman versus walking in front of a woman, and and it's that it's that energy exchange. And and some people might hear this as I don't know, there might be some women out there that are like power to the woman, like I get it, but we're not talking about that. I this is like an energetic, this is energy that we're talking about, and and and actually I want I I'd rather go phase into back into the pause. What I'd love for you to talk about is how can a woman get into that pause? How can she give herself permission to be in that pause? Because I think that's the piece, is that we we really struggle because we have it that there's a thousand things to do on my to-do list. I can't pause. I can't give myself that space because if I don't, you know, the wolf is gonna eat my child and the house is gonna collapse and the you know, whatever it is that we think in the world, like our instinctual mind is like that that reptilian mind is going where we just can't stop. How do you how do you stop? How do you give yourself permission?
SPEAKER_01:Well, the permission, it comes in small bites. So, because we're not really good about taking care of ourselves, and the word selfish comes to play that we're not supposed to be selfish, right? So everybody says, you know, don't be selfish, take care of everybody else, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we just have a lot of messages from our younger years that we've brought forward basically, and like the word selfish actually is very selfless to other people. Because if you're taking care of you, you are taking care of people so much better. It's like the oxygen mass that you hear when you get on a plane, right? Yes. Like if you don't put yours on first, your kids not gonna make it. No, because who, no one's gonna come to the rescue, right? No, and so I always say, like, what do you need in the morning? Just in the morning, if you could like literally when you get out of bed, before you do anything else that would be for anyone else, just to take a moment, right, to ask yourself just long enough to hear enough to hear what do I need right now? Do I need a glass of water so I'm not dehydrated? Do I need to just like go out and get a little bit of vitamin D, you know, just like look up to the sky? What do I need for a moment for me so that when my kids get up, I'm just really grounded and just can come from a place of love, right?
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Um, because it changes the dynamics in your home. You know, it changes the dynamics of with your man, right? This is not about men and women and that, you know, this power struggle that we have, right? When we get triggered, that's pip tip typically what people do, they fight because of a power struggle, right?
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Instead of just trying to, you know, take time to understand the other person where they're coming from. We didn't live in their shoes, we didn't live in their household, we didn't live in their schools, right? Like we they we just don't know what's going on. And so I just think that, you know, if we can take a moment to go, what does my husband need this morning? Does he just need me to make him a cup of coffee just to show him and give him a kiss goodbye, which maybe hasn't happened in a while because the busy life of the kids, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. See you this afternoon, right? I mean, it's just small little things that people really feel respected and loved. It's not these big things, right? It can just be the smallest little thing. Just walking by someone and just a touch on the shoulder, right? Um, so I I just think that we've we've switched the roles so much that we just we we just don't even know what we need anymore.
SPEAKER_05:That's it. I was just gonna say, I hear you saying that we just, yeah, we we don't stop and ask ourselves, what do we need? What do I need in this moment? What do I need today? You know, it's uh yeah, it's and I think it's very powerful. I know I have a routine when I wake up, and one of the things I say every morning when I wake up is God, show me the truth of myself and show me the truth of others. And that's what I need every day, you know? And then I have to remember when God shows me truth of myself, you know, what is what does that look like? What does that feel like? What is it that I need to shift, if anything? But those are things. And then, you know, then I have other needs where I have to do my prayer work and there's other things that I have to do, go on my walk, those are things I need, you know. Um, there's a friend that I talk to when we walk. I need that. I enjoy that. Like, that's like our downtime decompression, female time, that bond, right? Even you know, female bonding, you know? Or or I don't know, do you need to take yourself on a movie date by yourself or whatever? But yeah, I I I do see how we we definitely we definitely rob ourselves of those moments for fear that we might excuse me, for fear that we might miss on some task that we think we have to do. Because if we don't do the task, the world falls apart. So we think.
SPEAKER_01:And I know people that I'm coaching that when I started coaching them, they wanted to control everything, everything in their household, right? Right. Um, for fear of if I don't control it, I'm gonna lose it.
SPEAKER_05:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and it's just it's it's it's it's it's not a great place to live because um let's like look at why the control is there. Why can't you just let people be who they are, right? Um, it's like what are you in fear of by letting go of a little control? Is it your own thinking because you don't want to revisit what might come in that gap, right? I mean, without you know, because people will like get in a very strange space with that. But what I say, if you get triggered by something, control is not the answer. It's like taking that trigger and go, let me figure out what's between the trigger and my reaction, because that's really the real work, the real journey happens. Yes. Why am I getting triggered on that? Right.
SPEAKER_04:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:And then it doesn't become a power play of you fighting to try to, you know, the power between, you know, two people.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Um, it's like, let's get into that. Let's like dive in. Like, when do you remember getting triggered like that in the past? Like just take a moment and when was the first time you remember that, right?
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_01:And it takes people back to a place that, you know, typically in their childhood where they didn't feel safe or they were told they weren't enough, or you know, they they didn't belong, or you weren't good at painting, or you weren't good at dancing, so don't do that, you know. And then we just give up our dreams, you know, and then we just become this complacent person that everybody has told us who to be by the programming from everybody else in our world.
SPEAKER_05:Everywhere.
SPEAKER_01:You go out in the adult world, you don't even know who you are.
SPEAKER_05:No, because you've been told of who you should be the entire time from the moment you're born before you're born. Yes, yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So you can imagine, right? That if somebody had a lot of trauma and they felt danger in their world, they come out into the world as an adult, and it could be generations of not feeling safe. Because the brain wants to keep things right, it's gonna you're gonna attract all those things that keep your thinking right. I'm not safe. You're gonna attract what's not safe. So you can say I'm right, right? But the the being right is costing you and costing others. So what's the cost? And so the pause method really, you know, when I take you through it, it's really starts with asking that question, right? Identifying what that subconscious belief is that defined the action that we have, that's shaping the current situation in which you're living.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That's where it starts. And so I have people ask the question, what story am I telling myself right now? And is it rooted in truth today? Which some people are like, I don't know what my truth is because it's so varied, or past conditioning. And so that's that first phase because awareness of what's happening is the first step to freedom in today's world.
SPEAKER_05:100%.
SPEAKER_01:So that's how the pause started. That's the journey I went on first to find out how am I playing life, right? And is it in alignment with what I really want?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:What do I need to leave back there that I don't need to pick up? And what actually is working for me that I do want to continue. Like my dad was a big Whig in it where he worked. Um, he's retired since 1993, but his moral and ethics and his work ethics were like so like, yes, I picked those up. That is something I want to continue, right? Yeah. So that's that was the first step.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, it's interesting too, because I think what I was hearing when you were speaking earlier, too, is I think so many people don't even know what they really want. Because, you know, whether you have kids or not, we live in a society and a culture that does require you to do 24-7. You know, you are constantly in the doing this of life to pay the bills, to get to work, to meet the deadline, to get on the date, to like it's there's yeah, everything. Like, you know, when you think about yeah, I I I mean, I'm gonna date myself here, but when you think about where we were 30, 40 years ago in life, where we didn't have cell phones, we had payphones, we didn't even have pagers, you know, we we had records. We, you know, you you literally had to make plans to meet up with friends. And and I'm always blown away at how did we all find each other? Like we didn't even, we would just like we knew where to go to a local hangout or something, you know what I'm saying? Like here we're so connected, yeah. But but there are days when I think back to those times and I think, wow, the world was so less noisy.
SPEAKER_01:It was super noisy. I remember when we had party phones.
SPEAKER_05:Well, part right, party phones, but before part, like yeah, but I mean, it was less noisy than it is today, is what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_01:It's so less noisy, however, I will interject you there and say we also decided to buy into that.
SPEAKER_03:True.
SPEAKER_01:Because if you think about it, if I really was to ask you what are the three priorities that you need to accomplish today, it's not ten. Three.
SPEAKER_05:And if you just get those three done, I'm like, peace is my number one, Karen. Peace.
SPEAKER_01:Peace, man, peace.
SPEAKER_05:I need to accomplish peace just to get through the day. And if I can accomplish peace, then okay, I can do the next thing.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And then I would say, well, what is the definition of peace for you?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, good question. What is the definition of peace for me? The definition of peace for me is to not feel that um red line stress of the deadlines of the day. That's like if I could just be in the present moment, that's what allows me to be in peace. And that can be very challenging, in my opinion, to stay in that present moment. Especially like I have to get up at 5 30. The boy has to get up at 4 40 or 5 45, have to get his lunch, have to get then. Then we have to get him to school by set 6 50 so he can go then, and then I gotta do this. And like, if I can keep myself from jumping on that hamster wheel track. And like, you know, and then like my whole day is just like, oh, if I can just tell myself I'm gonna get it all done, it's all gonna work out, however, it works out, even if it doesn't work out. Like if I can keep myself in that present moment to moment to moment, that's what peace feels like to me.
SPEAKER_01:So what I would, you know, suggestion, right?
SPEAKER_05:Yes, challenge.
SPEAKER_01:Challenge, suggestion, challenge. I always ask permission. Permission to challenge you.
SPEAKER_05:Yes, please.
SPEAKER_01:So I get that because we all have that with kids, right? But you're only giving you 15 minutes. What if you got up at five?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, I'm up at 4 30 usually.
SPEAKER_01:Whatever it is, right? Like what well well, but you said your son doesn't have to get up and you don't have to get things started until 5 30. So what's going on that like when that happens, then instead of being grounded and just coming from whatever that space is of not being so boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo, like, how can you change that morning routine where you're really grounded? And then once you drop them off and you come back, how can you get five minutes right just to do it again? Five minutes to do it again. Yes, right.
SPEAKER_05:And I yes, and I will admit that I do not stay consistent with my morning routine of grounding.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_05:And and I and when I'll catch myself, I'll literally catch myself and say, You are feeling this way because you didn't do dun, dun, dun. You didn't do the things you know to do when your eyeballs wake up, you know, and and then yes, giving myself the permission for the five minutes to step outside out back and reground or or just be in a moment for fear that you know that that track starts going, and then I'm like, oh my god, I gotta keep going, I gotta keep going.
SPEAKER_01:How about if we just know that you're gonna be okay?
SPEAKER_05:Right. No matter what.
SPEAKER_01:No matter what. You're gonna be okay. Um, yeah, you're just gonna be okay.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And you know, this is where mentoring coaching, as you know, comes in. It's like the accountability piece. Nobody wants to be accountable because they want to have this free life to do whatever, but actually it's costing you something by doing that.
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01:And so, like, if I was coaching you, I'd be like, hey, let's have you wake up and text me at 515, right? When you've done this 15 minutes for yourself. Tell me what you did.
SPEAKER_04:Accountability.
SPEAKER_01:Accountability, like for like literally two weeks, Monday through Friday, whatever it's gonna be for two weeks. And after a while, it becomes a habit. And you're like, wow, and then you get to see the blossoming on the other side, and like, wow, this feels really good. I'm gonna keep doing this, right?
SPEAKER_05:Mm-hmm. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01:So, yeah, I mean, it's just it's just challenging people, right?
SPEAKER_05:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01:To like get to the other side.
SPEAKER_05:To your point, accountability. I think accountability to every aspect of your life. And I think uh we live in a very unaccountable world.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, I think we're programmed to stay unaccountable. Um, because then there's uh this is just my thought, my intuitive thought right now. It it allows for total chaos. And then you you can't think. You you you you aren't grounded, you're not connected, you're not aware, and then you're on that hamster wheel and you're just surviving.
SPEAKER_01:It's exhaustion. You know, uh someone um I watched The Matrix again recently. So good. It's so interesting, right? And it comes into play here, right? That you know, it's not one world. No, you create whatever you want.
SPEAKER_04:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Like you just need to stop for a moment to decide what is what is that gonna look like. And you know, and I'm really good about doing that now. You know, I have a coach myself, um, and I had a coach call with him this morning, and he's like, You're really, really good at doing that. He's like, wait a minute, is this working or not? Let me stop for a moment. I just need five minutes. Let me like put the pieces together. And I'm like, yeah, actually that that that would kind of give a trajectory of going in this direction where I really want to go. Okay, we're putting that in place. It doesn't take long, it's one little thing. It goes back to that thing. Like I was dehydrated for 10 years and I didn't even know it because it was so normal for me.
SPEAKER_05:The most people didn't know it, right?
SPEAKER_01:Right. But then I was challenged to drink water every day, right? To get healthier. And so I started drinking water every day and I started feeling really good. Then I got sick and I got dehydrated one day. I'm like, I know what that is. Bring me some water, right? But then I had to go, well, how am I gonna drink the water? Because if you give me a water bottle, you know, like a bottle you buy at the store, I it'll sit there. I won't drink it because I won't unscrew it and I won't drink it. Give me a cup with a straw in it, I'll drink 10 of them.
SPEAKER_05:Is that the wildest thing? That's why I bought this. I bought this Stanley before I even understood the whole thing about Stanley. And the only thing, the reason why I bought the Stanley is because at the time I was working with a trainer and she's like, you need at least 63 ounces a day. And I kept thinking, how am I gonna get 63 ounces? Like, I can't do that. And I needed the biggest thing with a straw. Exactly. If there's no straw, to your point, I won't drink it. But if there's and so I know that if I drink two of these, then I've I've met my I've met my quota.
SPEAKER_01:Right, right. Yeah, and you feel good because you and it feels better. Exactly. So let me tell you what the next piece of the pause is.
SPEAKER_05:Yes, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Five pieces, right? So the next piece is really acknowledging and acceptance where you are like really what's real the exhaustion, the fear, the resentment, right? And acceptance isn't resignation, it's just the key to shifting your perspective.
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:It's kind of like, okay, I'm looking through rose carrot glasses. Maybe there's a blue pair I can look through.
SPEAKER_05:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Like, what's it gonna take you from going from this version of yourself to the version you really want over here? Right? Like if we don't start looking at this stuff, we can't unravel it so we can get where we want to get to.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:And then after that, it's just really untangling it, right? Understanding it, not with judgment any or any anything, just really understanding it. Is it is it fact or is it fiction? Okay. Um, what is this b what if this belief isn't true? Because our imagination is so strong. We imagine so much, right? And our imagination just comes from words, which becomes the stories, and then of course we behave and we get our results. And I have this genie bottle on my and Aladdin lamp on my desk that I take with me when I go out and about into the world. And I just remind people it's like we all have personal genies, so be very, very nice to your personal genie because it will give you exactly what you think and feel.
SPEAKER_05:And what you ask for, yes.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. So, like be kind to your genie, right? So, um, yeah, and then you know, what's the situation trying to teach you? Like, why am I getting triggered? You know what I mean? What what do I need to learn?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, why is it happening for you?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, the space between the reaction and the response, right? That's where the real power is. When we can just respond without reaction, right? Yes. Like I remember being in like boardrooms years ago. I used to work for, you know, a big corporation, San Francisco, and I would give myself permission to leave when I felt it in my stomach. I was feel it in my stomach first, right? And I'm like, you know what? Lit can I pause for a second? I just need to run to the bathroom or whatever it was. Permission when that starts stirring to just leave the room. Permission when I'm in a room and isn't feeling any better to exit the room and go home.
SPEAKER_05:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:I'm really big in energy and like the vibration that works around us, right?
SPEAKER_05:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. I want people to talk about it. That's powerful. Yeah, I want people to talk about it. That's powerful because people don't listen to their bodies in that way, and your body is always talking. Oh, and your body knows.
SPEAKER_01:People say they want vitality, right? Well, if you have a belief that you're not enough, you're gonna compensate in different ways. And it's you're gonna have disease in your body. Yes. Stress, cancer can happen, you know, just you know, pain, inflammation. We're not like taking care of our bodies.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:So um it's kind of like if somebody feels like they don't belong or they're not part of something, right? The compensation factor is to isolate yourself and be alone because you believe that, right? So that's what you're gonna do. But if we can break that, right, in what real truth is that you do belong to something, right? You are part of something, then there's unity. There's unity in the world, right?
SPEAKER_04:Yes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So um, so the next the next piece of this pie is really reframing your old belief to that empowering truth. Like really like starting to like you know, take it on, right? And so this is a challenge part, you know, where I challenge people to start doing things right so they can see the other side of it, right? Because they've never seen it before, because it's so buried in their subconscious, right? They can't even like imagine. And so the qu you know, the question is if I was free, whole, worthy, worthy at 100%, how would I show up?
SPEAKER_04:Well, they're gonna look like right.
SPEAKER_01:How would you show up then? If all that was gone, it's almost like wiping out your history.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a point.
SPEAKER_01:Or what if you, when you sit next to someone in an airplane, you don't know them, and you have this amazing conversation, but then your own partner, you have so much history, there's so there's so much stuff that's happened. This this true essence of ourselves that sits down here in the pit of our stomach. But then we have all this accumulation of hurt and piled up and all these messages and everything, and it it dims our light. Yes. So the true essence is sitting down here, but like to do the work to go, nope, that's not true, that's not true, that's not true, not that's not true. Then all of a sudden your light starts coming up again, and then you get full of self-expression in the different world.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So that's where we really get to rewrite your narrative and pivot into the new possibilities.
SPEAKER_04:Love that.
SPEAKER_01:Because I say in uncertainty, which is everything in the future of this moment, there are so many possibilities and opportunities, but we don't see them because we've we're so dimmed. We've dimmed our light.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, yeah. You've dimmed your expression.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Our energy, all of that.
SPEAKER_05:I was just watching uh I don't know if you watched the series Yellowstone. Did you see that?
SPEAKER_01:I have seen some of it, yes.
SPEAKER_05:Okay, so I I I totally ignored it when it all came out. Everybody was hyping over it. I was like, whatever. And then lately I had a friend who was like, you really need to watch it. And of course, I now binged and watched it over five seasons over the last two weeks, and and it was it was amazing. It was so good. But there was this, there's a character in the name in the show called Beth, and uh, yes, she's she's amazing, right? And and then you know, Kevin Costner plays her dad, and he said, you know, he made a comment about how good it would be to be as free as she could be, because that girl had zero filter, full self-expression, had no just like that. And that's a perfect no matter what, right? Rip loved her no matter what, exactly, right? And that's like, but that's a great metaphor for what you just said. Like when you remove all those layers, you know, and you think about, you know, you you could actually look at the characters in that in that movie, you look at Jamie, and he was a perfect version of stacking stuff on top of himself to where he he just he he became a version of himself that was the worst version of himself, you know, and and then you're not your fullest self-expression, and you're living in fear, and you're making poor choices, and you're operating from complete survival, and that and and then you will die. So we all do, yeah. So, like, which do you want to be? Which do you want to be? You want to be the best or you want to be the Jamie?
SPEAKER_01:But right, and and let's look at your operating system, yes, and how you want to change that operating system because it's possible, it is, it takes courage, but it is possible, it takes courage, it takes courage, it takes courage.
SPEAKER_05:People think they're stuck, you're not stuck, you're not, no, you're just in the version, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You're just in this version, let's get to the other version, and it's just a bunch of little baby steps. Yes, you know, nobody's asking you to go, whoa, you're not gonna do that, right? No, no, but like just a baby step. Yep, just a baby step, just a baby step. Like you're five minutes after you drop off your son, yeah, five minutes for you. What do I need for the next two hours?
SPEAKER_05:Yep, right? Yeah. Okay, so what's next? Then what's the next step? What's next?
SPEAKER_01:And then basically the last piece of the pause is just practicing it on a daily basis, like rest, boundaries, gratitude, reflection, right? Embodying this new belief and by taking aligned action. Remember, I said, is it aligned with my family, my future, my business, where I'm going? If it's not, the answer is no. Okay. Because it's probably kind of and you're always gonna have that little thing, right? I mean, I just I do it too. Like I get in my my head sometimes too.
SPEAKER_04:We're human, we're human. Yes.
SPEAKER_01:But I remember this that I was really precious. All babies are precious when they're born. We just cry because we need something, right? And somewhere along the line, we decided we weren't.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_01:And then we go out in the world, we try to look for it outside of ourselves.
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:When everything you need is inside of yourself, everything all the love, right?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So people, I would love for people to take a journey for them. For them. Even if it's just just take it on for one day, right? Just go out in nature and just think. Go to the beach and just sit and just see what comes up for you. It's not gonna change your life. You know, you're you have a great, you know, marriage, great kids, whatever. It's not that. It's that when we come from that loving standpoint, it just automatically permeates out into the world. You don't even have to do anything. What you see is your kids are different. So when I was young, I remember um, you know, my kids, I had newborn. And so I went to do something and a friend took me and was bringing me home, and their babysitter was there, and I was crying, and I didn't want my kids to see me like that. I'm like, no, I have to be strong for my kids, you know. Gosh, you know, I don't want to bring this all on them. Yes. Can you walk? Can you drive me around the block? She said, sure. I said one more time, she goes, this will be the last time. I'm like, okay. So we get back and I'm like, I'm not ready to go in. She goes, listen, you need to go in the house because your kids need to see that you're sad and that you're in pain. If you don't allow them to see that, then they will never bring those things to you.
SPEAKER_05:100%. I fully believe that. Because I feel that when we try to protect them from all that, they don't then learn that this is this is what life looks like when life's working, right? I I have a lot of friends who are like, well, I'm not gonna get divorced because for the kids. And I'm like, so you're gonna show them what an unhealthy relationship looks like? Yes, that's what you're gonna model for them? Yes, okay, that's that's really working. Hello, you know, or I I guess I know my son has seen me, you know, I don't show him everything, but I do break down from time to time so he can see like, buddy, this is what it looks like when it's just you and I, and it's not easy. And uh I'm doing my best, you know, because this is what life looks like, and I and and that's how we learn to cope. We learn coping skills, you know, and and how to navigate life when we see the truth of what you know what what it takes to adult. Being an adult is not not easy, but yeah, you you've said a lot today, which is just so powerful.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I think if there's one thing that I want women that are listening and men to take away from this, is that you don't have to earn the rest, you don't need a crisis to deserve a pause.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, you need to give us you don't need a crisis to deserve the pause, people.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, please listen to that. Give yourself permission to stop performing for a moment and start listening to you.
SPEAKER_05:I hear it exhale. Like, you know, that's funny. That movie Waiting to Exhale. That's what I hear. Yes, and that's what I hear is you know, when you said, you know, go for a walk, go to the beach. You know, I I I live four hours from the beach now. I'm in Texas and it's far, but I've yeah, and I you know, we used to live in Santa Cruz, California, which was amazing because I could just go to the beach on the way to work, you know, and and uh and there is something to be said. We do have a lot of water here in Texas, which I do like to go sit by because there's something like to be said when you said you just just go sit and be, and and nothing really needs to come up. It's just it's just being in that moment. And it doesn't mean like earth-shattering shifts are gonna happen. They might, they might not, but there's something about just being in the stillness, the stillness of your body in a moment to just exhale and pause, and then you hear what you need. Like, so what do I need in this moment? It's true, it's so true. Yeah, it really is so beautiful, yeah. Wow. So, Karen, I I love, I love, I love this work, and I love you know the pause method. It's just it's it's perfect. I don't know that I've seen it or heard it in that way, and I I love it because it really is perfect. It is it is taking that moment for yourself. Where can everybody find you? Well, they're on the website, yes, and and which I'll have that in the show notes. And what types of courses are you currently offering?
SPEAKER_01:So, right now I'm actually just putting together um the course to actually go through a five-week um course for the pause. So it's like we'll go through the everything that we just went through in depth, right? Nice. It's a group, it's a group situation on Zoom. Um, and then also I have a retreat coming next year, which is a very sacred space for only 20 women. It's two and a half days to really have a safe container where we get to unravel all of this. And we we start with breath work, we we have a um a welcome party, and then we have we start with breath work on Saturday morning, just to get people grounded. Um, and I participate in that as well. Um and yeah, and then we do a lot of discussion that day. And then on Sundays, I actually do coaching. Whoever wants to, you know, has a question or whatever, and then the coaching comes. And so that's when women really get to break free from these constraints that they're holding back and they get to see a new world, right? So that's a very in-depth two and a half days. Um, it's gonna be at some kind of villa somewhere. Last time I did it in Sonoma at a villa. This year, I think I'm doing it at Lake Norman. It's gonna be Where's Lake Norman? June, Charlotte, North Carolina.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, God, that's beautiful. Yeah, that's beautiful.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and then they can join the free sanctum community as well. Okay. Um, that's on there as well. I just need an email to get them started because it's all on Zoom. And so, and there's there's some freebies on there, there's a free journal prompt on there. They can see the I'm gonna be putting out the book, Power of the Pause. It's just a little pamphlet that, you know, I'm gonna be giving away. So that's coming. Um, yeah. So, and then of course they can always DM me on Instagram, right? Lovely, yes. If they want to call me direct, I'm happy to give you the phone number. They can call me direct.
SPEAKER_04:Great.
SPEAKER_01:I just really want to reach as many women as possible so we can have this movement, not in a bad feminine way. This is about respecting, honoring yourself and the people in your lives and men, and getting back to a world where everybody is together in unity, moving forward together, yes, with love and respect and all that good stuff. Because I think that through the women, like we were talking about, taking on the masculine, we've kind of disrespected men a little bit.
SPEAKER_05:That's a whole nother episode that we could talk about.
SPEAKER_01:I know, and we could do that too next time, but like there's that going on, and so I really want the men that are listening to know that we do understand that and we want to help women get back to that feminine power that they have.
SPEAKER_05:It's really restoring the balance of what we all came here to be and do. Yeah, it's the restoral, the renewal of balance of that feminine, masculine polarity, dance, the union of how we work together to build community and no more separation, like no more separation. Like that's uh such an old conversation. Right, yeah, vitality and vitality. I love that when you said that about vitality because you're you're 100% right. You know, people say, Oh, I want vitality. Well, but it starts, it starts by looking inside. You know, you really gotta look at what's what's what's missing, what's going on, what's really happening in there? What are you not paying attention to? What are you ignoring because you think you have to do all these other things or else your day will fall apart? Yeah, guess what? It's all gonna be there tomorrow.
SPEAKER_01:Major panic attacks because so stressed out in a relationship, right? And showing up my office, then I would just have to like, you know, breathe through it with her. And then, of course, then then she stressed and then anxiety and depression and all this stuff. I mean, all of that because we hadn't worked through or she wasn't ready to work through that, right? Yeah, um, and now that's a buried emotions space, and she's the one that's in an amazing relationship and having a baby. I love it. You get to be a grandma again.
SPEAKER_05:I'm already again. Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, so that's awesome. Well, I just wanted to say thank you so much for joining us today. I'm like I said, everybody, all those that are listening, I'm gonna put all of her links in the show notes. Um, the retreat sounds amazing, and so I look forward to hearing about the dates on that because that sounds beautiful.
SPEAKER_01:And and there's a waiting list. If people want to get on to it, they can go to the retreat tab and just join the waiting list. Okay, great. And then they'll get all the information.
SPEAKER_05:All the information. Yeah, I just want to say thank you for joining us here. It's been a pleasure having you on. And yeah, and I look forward to maybe doing it again. We can have some other fun, juicy topics. Yes, of course.
SPEAKER_01:Any anytime.
SPEAKER_05:Awesome, awesome. All right, thank you for rooting in and rising with me today. If something in this episode stirred something in you, take a breath, take what you need, and let the rest soften. Be sure to follow the show so you don't miss what's next. And if you feel called, share this episode or leave a review. It helps the space grow and reach others on the path. Until next time, may you walk with trust, speak with love, and rise in your own time. I'm so grateful you were here with us, and thanks for being here. We'll see you on the next episode.