Rooted & Rising: Stories of Transformation, Intuition, and Soul-Led Healing
Formerly the Intuitive Mentor Mom Podcast, now Rooted & Rising is a space for those ready to stop living life on autopilot and start living it by design. Hosted by Tara Mychelle — woman, mother, entrepreneur, friend, daughter, corporate professional, and energy practitioner — this podcast is born from the roots of challenge and the rise of self-discovery.
Here, we explore the truth that life isn’t happening to us, it’s happening for us. When we release the victim within, we reclaim our power as the hero of our own story. Through healing and transformation, we create an inner world so rich and aligned that our outer world naturally reflects it.
With personal stories, raw reflections, and inspiring conversations, each episode invites you to deepen your roots in self-awareness, self-love, and truth — and rise into your fullest self-expression. Together, we’ll explore everything from love, relationships, and parenting to health, spirituality, and the courage it takes to live fully awake.
This is your invitation to heal, transform, and create a life you love — from the inside out. Get rooted. Rise high. And live the story you were born to tell.
Rooted & Rising: Stories of Transformation, Intuition, and Soul-Led Healing
37: Leadership Rewired: Aligning Actions with Values w/ Vanessa Yu
What are your true core values, and are you actually living by them? In this powerful conversation, I sit down with transformational leadership coach Vanessa Yu to explore the hidden role values play in shaping our choices, leadership, and overall fulfillment.
Together, we dive into why so many of us aren’t even aware of our real values, how to distinguish between inherited beliefs and authentic truths, and what happens when we begin to align our lives and leadership with what matters most.
Vanessa shares insights on “rooted leadership”; a grounded, values-driven approach that rewires how we lead ourselves and others. You’ll hear stories of transformation, practical tools for discovering your own values, and steps to take when you feel out of alignment.
If you’re ready to shift your perspective, lead with integrity, and open your life to deeper clarity and purpose, this episode will inspire you to get rooted in your values, and rise from there.
✨ Connect with Vanessa: coachvanessayu.com
You can reach out to Vanessa through her website and she will provide you a complimentary assessment that will help you deepen and discover your core values newly or for the first time.
Looking for confirmation, guidance, or support in an area of life where you feel stuck, stagnant, or simply unclear of what to do next? Let's connect: book a complimentary Discovery Session with me, today!
Book a 30-min Discovery Session Here
Today, I sit down with the transformational leadership coach, vanessa Yu. If you're ready to shift your perspective, lead with integrity and open your life to deeper clarity and purpose, this episode will inspire you to get rooted in your values and rise from there. Let's do it. Welcome to Rooted in Rising. I'm your host, tara Michelle, intuitive guide, storyteller and fellow traveler on this wild path of becoming. This is a space for the soul, ed, for the ones unraveling old stories, tending to their healing and rising, not perfectly but powerfully, into who they are here to be. Here we explore what it means to live with intention, to love with depth and to trust that even the hard things are shaping us. I'll share pieces of my own journey the cracks, the beauty, the breakthroughs and invite voices who are walking this path too, because I believe life isn't happening to us, it's happening for us. So come as you are, root in and rise up, and thank you truly, thank you for being here. Welcome back to Rooted in Rising, the podcast where we help you ground deeply in your truth and rise powerfully from it.
Speaker 1:I'm Tara Michelle, the host of the show. I'm excited to introduce my guest, vanessa Yu, a leadership and executive coach who helps leaders stop performing and start leading from who they really are, with bold clarity, grounded compassion and energy that fuels their vision. Vanessa's training blends deep coaching methodologies, somatic work, generative trance, internal family systems and embodied relational skills. Her own business core values, which is vitality, connection, growth, compassion and integrity, run through everything she does, and they're exactly the compass we'll be exploring today. So here we go.
Speaker 1:So okay, so I'm excited because I love your topics of leadership, rewired and rooted leadership, and so I want to just dive right into this, if we can, and first I want to say thank you for being on the show. I'm really excited to have you because it's gonna be a lot of fun. I have some questions, because I looked over your website and I love what you do, and when we talk about core values, you know really rooted leadership, rewiring leadership. I want to ask, because we talked a little bit about this the other day, what really are core values beyond the buzzwords, and how does that show up inside of leadership?
Speaker 3:Ah, great question. What are core values? When I work with my clients, the way I describe it, they are what bring you meaning and purpose. A lot of people confuse their values with needs or wants, desires, but really, when you unpack values, they're what light you up, they turn you on like a light bulb on. They feel so meaningful they bring you to purpose, so meaningful they bring you to purpose, and they don't just appear one day You've had them since you were little.
Speaker 3:If I'm correct, from a class I took, you can start seeing values at the age of five.
Speaker 1:Oh, I believe it. I believe it because there's. You know, a lot of the work I've done over the years is, um, you know, I did some really cool courses with landmark education, but one of the things we talked about was strategies, and by the time you're five years old, you have every strategy in place of how you're actually going to live your life, like you've already decided how you're going to navigate the survival. Is that fascinating?
Speaker 1:By five years old, it's done, and that's why when you're driving down the road and there's like some Yahoo on the road and then you behave in such a way and you're like, oh, how old was that? I was like four, just now, you know. And so there was this other joke when we were in that course. If you think about how most of us have created these strategies that really, up to five years old, you have them all in place and you can see that in the political system, you can see that in leadership within corporation, on how people behave, sometimes like when they're triggered, and they behave from a five-year-old space, their default.
Speaker 1:Yes, because that default strategy is at play. And so, yeah, that's you know. And I want to ask you know, why do you think so many people actually struggle to understand or figure out their values?
Speaker 3:Honestly, I don't think people are trying hard enough to figure out their values, their compass. We are in a society where we're consumers, we're consuming what everyone else is doing. We're consuming so much of social media as we're in the comparison game. I don't think enough people stop and slow down to really consider. Stop and slow down to really consider. Then the small percentage of those who slow down and consider may not have the language to articulate what's really going on inside them Right, to articulate how come, when. Sometimes I do this, I'm full of energy, I'm in flow, I light up, I do this, I'm full of energy, I'm in flow, I light up. It's I mean I mentioned this to you earlier when I spoke to you Zero percent of my clients know their values. Right, I've coached over a hundred people, yes, and I ask every one of them do you happen to know your values? And there's always, tara, a long pause. Maybe I get family or faith. I don't get anything deeper, I don't get specific language. They just don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, share with us what is specific language Like. If I were to ask you, vanessa, what are your core values, what would you say?
Speaker 3:since I was a little tiny girl. When I would play by myself, I would bring out this chalkboard my parents bought me and I would teach my pretend class. It was instilled in me at a young young age Teaching. I love teaching. It lights me up. Mastery. That one was a game changer for me that I really value mastery.
Speaker 1:What does mastery look like to you? Because I love that, I love like the word mastery. I don't think people would even consider that mastery being a core value.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it's for me. I find so much joy and so much energy becoming really good at something, whether it's a skill, whether it's a concept. So for me, as a coach, now I understand why I'm so drawn to being an ICF certified coach. Sure.
Speaker 3:There's a pathway to mastery Right For people who don't value mastery. That's not going to light them up, it's actually going to inhibit them. It might make them feel trapped, but for me, that lights me up Lights you up, yeah, I want to keep learning and honing in on skills, to master the skill. So for me that was a big one, and another one that the language around this, when I was able to pinpoint it was a game changer, was catalyst. I want to be a change agent, that's.
Speaker 1:It's so funny you say change agent yeah. That's what it means for me. Yeah, I used to put that in my resume, like I'm a change agent. I'm a change agent. That's probably one of your values.
Speaker 1:It is Like I am all about and I have to admit it's probably one of the values that gets in the way of the roles I've taken on, because in a lot of the settings that I'm, you know the managers I typically am under they want you to just follow their directive. Yeah, managers I typically am under. They want you to just follow their directive. And I'm a change agent and so I'm a little bit disruptive. I always joke and say I'm like the Joan of Arc. I'm the Joan of Arc of corporation, and when people aren't being served and when there's a lack of integrity, and if it's like a lack of integrity on the team, I'm like the change agent.
Speaker 1:It gets me in trouble all the time because, I just I stand for greater level of service to others and integrity to your team.
Speaker 3:Yes, I hear that, and if you had a really good manager, he or she would have leveraged that Right. Haven't found that yet, vanessa, and that's, that's why I love coaching leaders, because when they do this work of discovering their own values and then experimenting with them, playing with them, they see what happens to them and the impact it has on their leadership.
Speaker 3:It has on their team and then they do the same thing with their team. They're like on their team, and then they do the same thing with their team. They're like they start saying, oh Bob, here is he, lights up with teaching. Yes, let's see what I can do to grow.
Speaker 1:That yes, yes. And I think often, so often, what's missing and why I love what you're up to in the corporate space is so much of what's missing is leaders understanding and realizing that your success is totally driven by your team. Like it isn't about you shining and then your team to shine. Your whole job is to get that team to shine and then you shine. And I don't know if that's like an old paradigm where it's like well, I'm the leader, so therefore you shine. And I don't know if that's like an old paradigm where it's like, well, I'm the leader, so therefore I shine. No, like, get your team a winning team and then you're like, you know, you shine. And I think there's a lot of leaders like I see this. From my perspective, I see a lot of leaders that they know that as a context or they know it as a idea, but they don't necessarily know how to apply it and to really integrate it yes.
Speaker 1:And I think this is a good segue when we are looking at values like how do we distinguish values between what we've inherited but what's authentically ours? Oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 3:Yes, because I have seen clients who they'll take the assessment I give and I always ask does any of this surprise you? And one time I had someone say that creativity popped up and he was shocked I can't believe this is here and he's he's a CFO, so he doesn't really ever use creativity. Right before we unpacked it we realized, he realized, oh goodness, I was a very creative child, but his father would squash it, wouldn't allow it, right, for whatever reason, right. So anytime he would bring the creativity to play to, however it was showing up in childhood, his father would always squash it showing up in childhood, his father would always squash it, so that value was hidden.
Speaker 3:It was hidden. It was like put away in the closet. But when he took the assessment, it showed up Right. That's one case where it was there but someone didn't agree with it. Right, right, someone didn't allow it. It's not okay for a boy to be creative Right Situation. So what was really fun was we brought it to the surface and we start. He started playing with it as a CFO. I love that and it was amazing. He started changing up the meanings, a little more creativity. Yes.
Speaker 3:His processing system started changing. Then I've seen other clients where, as we do the work with the value, the specific value, they realize that was mom and dad's value and it wasn't truly theirs. And I have to say that was my experience. And it wasn't truly theirs and I have to say that was my experience. I've been discovering I really value adventure and I was shocked it wasn't showing up in my personal assessment. I take it every year because I'm curious, because values aren't supposed to change, right?
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, and mine haven't changed. They've shifted, but I'm noticing that adventure is climbing a little higher and I realized because my parents didn't grow that part of me I remember I wanted to study abroad in college.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh gosh, yeah, my son really wants that. I'm like, okay, let's figure it out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, to feel that adventure. Yes, my dad was scared for me and so that adventure part of me was very limited. And now, as a middle-aged woman, I am like I actually really love adventure and my husband, who's at Mr Adventure, it's one of his core values. He's bringing it out in me and it's been amazing for me.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 3:So you know there's no formula, but the more you unpack values and you work with them and you play with them, the more you know it resonates with you.
Speaker 1:Well, I think it goes back to how many of us have grown up to be something in whatever career, like I'm a doctor or I'm a lawyer or I'm a whatever and you wake up and realize I'm only this because that's what my parents wanted me to be and it's not really what truly sings to me, and I think that that's fascinating because in the same I think we can even, you know there's layers of that in relationships where I've seen a lot of people in this day and age where they realize, well, I got married, I had kids, I did all the things because I thought that's what I was supposed to do, and you know. And then they wake up one day and they're like, wait a minute, Like who am I really?
Speaker 3:What is it that I really? Want.
Speaker 1:I just find that fascinating, because I think so often we don't really know the truth of who we are or the truth of what we really desire, because it has been so covered up by all the things we think we should do or the things we think we should be, and then life starts happening at a million miles an hour and you're just doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, rather than just actually being in your body to really listen. Like what is it that really speaks to me?
Speaker 3:So yeah, I didn't know how to do that, tara, when you're saying being your body like, I remember being 41, just had my surprise baby and quit my job that I enjoyed and I was nervous to be a stay-at-home mom again because all these feelings of resentment started bubbling up and I remember thinking I can't do that again, even though duty in me says to do that, even though I know the research of a stay-at-home mom you know, the positive impact.
Speaker 3:And I enjoyed my years as a stay-at-home mom, but underneath there was a lot of resentment Like what's happening to me. I don't want to lose me again. I remember crying to my husband like I can't have my wings snipped again. Oh my gosh husband, like I can't have my wings snipped again, oh my gosh. And so I hired a life coach because I did not know what to do with myself and I was hoping she was going to tell me what to do. Right, but I started to discover me and what. I love and we?
Speaker 3:she would say, like let's pretend there's no fear, Right? What would you do? Like I would own a business but I don't know what. So then it led me down the path of coaching, and in my coaching program they have a mandatory class all coaches have to take, called personal foundation. Yep.
Speaker 3:Tara, that was a game changer. It was all on needs and values, and once I saw that my needs for that season of life, and if they're not being met, then I can't lean into values. Nope, because when you are not having your needs met, you're in survival mode. Yep. All the time.
Speaker 3:But most people in America are in survival mode, in survival mode, 100% they don't have the luxury to sit down and think about their values right, trying to get these needs met. And so I had to learn how do I meet my own needs Right, instead of fostering codependency Right by wanting my husband to meet my needs, my kids to meet my needs, my job to meet my needs?
Speaker 1:It is all within you.
Speaker 3:And I learned that I have to meet my own needs, I have to advocate. I was giving my power away. So once I did that work, then I was able to really lean into my values and that's when the light just went on inside me.
Speaker 1:You know, and I love this because this is a perfect segue. I wanted to talk about living out of alignment and what happens in someone's life when they're not aligned with their values, like what happens when you're not aligned.
Speaker 3:Resentment, anger, victim, victim. Oh, I was a victim and I was a martyr. And then I was really upset when no one else was the martyr.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:Because I was always the martyr. Yeah, and you're unhappy. I remember my husband would tell me you're so unhappy I don't know what it is, vanessa You're so unhappy. I had a home, I had children, you had all the things and I was so unhappy. Even my faith I had, but I was inwardly so dry. Nothing was bringing a whole lot of meaning to me at that season of life, mm-hmm. So when you're out of alignment, there's the red flags like resentment, victim projection, projecting your feelings on others. You're not a risk taker. No, you're not connecting well.
Speaker 1:No, no. And when we talk about being a rooted leader, or rooted leader or leadership rewire, what is the impact on others when a leader let's just say in career is out of alignment with their core values? What's the impact on their team? What have you seen?
Speaker 3:I see a team that, instead of thrives, they shrink.
Speaker 1:And you know what? I'm just gonna throw this out here because I know there's a lot of moms that listen to this show and I really want you to listen, like those that are listening to this show. Although we're talking about leadership, I want you to consider that you are a leader in your life yeah.
Speaker 1:Or you wouldn't be listening to the show. But you may not have a corporate job, or you may have a very avant-garde job or whatever. But even consider as a parent you're the leader, so the team is your family. That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1:Or as a student, you're the leader and the team is your class. Or in a project, you're the leader and the people on the project are you know? I really want everybody to listen for themselves. When we're talking leadership, it really is not just like, oh, you have some, the core within you that you yourself, you were rooted into this realm called leader within you and how do you show up? So I just want to remind people because I love this question when we're living out of alignment for real, how that impacts your life on all levels. And you know what? I don't know if this is a core value. I feel like it is, but relationship is like a core value for me. When I'm not in relationship, I am in total survival mode.
Speaker 1:When I'm in a really healthy, connected relationship I can do anything. And I once had a coach years ago that I did. I can't remember what kind of test it was, one of those tests that tells you who you are. And she said, when you're not in relationship, things don't work for you. And I was like, oh, come on. But over the years I was like, damn it, she's right. When I'm in a relationship, when I have that piece managed, I can go do anything else. If I don't have that piece managed, things feel very disjointed, difficult, and I don't want to say I'm in victim mode, but there I'm definitely in what's, I am in survival mode like full blown survival mode, like I can't, I, I it's the weirdest thing.
Speaker 1:And I say that because I'm I'm actually in a very healthy, nurturing, very loving relationship right now and I'm looking at the difference. I'm like whoa, you know, and then, having lost my job this week, like I'm like, so what it's like there's, it's's, it's amazing to see the difference. And you, what would?
Speaker 3:you say, is the impact on those around you when you're misaligned, when you're not in a deeper connection with someone, that relational piece?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I can speak for my son, like I'm more stressed. I mean we have a pretty peaceful house, but I'm more stressed I'm I'm less connected to him. Because I'm less connected to him, because I'm always in this space of survival of what do I need to do to make the money, to pay the bills, to do the house, to do the dogs. It's constant. I'm never centered and at peace in my body, so scarcity takes over. Yes.
Speaker 3:That's the impact Scarcity.
Speaker 1:Total scarcity.
Speaker 3:Now being in this loving, healthy relationship. You're in this value of being connected so amazing. Who do you become when you're living out this?
Speaker 1:value. I'm like the queen of my realm. I'm at peace. It's funny. I went over to his house the other day after I got laid off. He's like you're radiating and I'm like it's because I'm with you. But then I was like I think I'm radiating because I just for one, I'm out of a job that I wasn't happy with, right, like I was not aligned with that role.
Speaker 1:It wasn't that I wasn't aligned with the role, I wasn't aligned. I'm just not aligned with that, with that industry right now. I just I'm I'm kind of done with that industry.
Speaker 2:I don't want to say it that way, but that's how it feels.
Speaker 1:And my true alignment is what we're doing here right now. My true alignment is to speak, is to coach, is to teach, is to heal, is to restore, repair, to be of service, like that is my true passion and calling, yeah, I feel it, yes, like that's my thing and that like anybody can hire me. You want me to go love on your clients and be of service and like, do all the magic there. I'm so happy. But if you want me to do this other stuff, it just doesn't. It just doesn't resonate. But wait, what was your question? I forgot. Oh, so who?
Speaker 3:do you become? Who do you become? Who do you?
Speaker 1:become. I become grace. I just become grace, ease, flow, peace, love, like that's what it feels like Beautiful, yeah, and it feels like the queen of my realm, like the king and the queen, and it's like we have the realm and it just feels we have the realm and it just feels it feels peaceful.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and how well do you honor that daily?
Speaker 1:Right now I'm honoring it a lot, okay, like I'm so aware and grateful for it because there have been times when I would have glimpses or feelings of this and I wouldn't allow myself to stay in that space. I think also the difference too, is I'm with somebody that where it's a healthy situation it's not toxic. So even if I'm in a relationship that's toxic, there's still that survival lack, there's still that scarcity in the background, because then I'm worried like when's the relationship going to end? Is it going to end.
Speaker 1:Is it going to end? Is it going to end? Like that's what's in the background where I'm not going to say that I don't have those thoughts sometimes because we're still kind of new in this situation, but I really don't have those thoughts Like I just don't. I have more of creation thoughts. I'm in the space of creation, like I can create, and there's that overflow, feeling like abundance, and it's coming, it's. It's like an energizing abundance.
Speaker 3:I don't know how to explain it, but that's how it feels If you look at other areas of your life. Are you? How well are you honoring this value of connection?
Speaker 1:How am I honoring this value of connection? I guess what comes up for me is like well, what does that really mean, vanessa? Yeah.
Speaker 3:And this is an example of what coaching is like. Yes, we're unpacking our values Like where are you? Maybe not honoring it? Or maybe I would start going into the other perspective of how's your relationship with yourself?
Speaker 1:Relationship with self, I think is very good. Self Relationship with self, I think is very good. I think relationship with self is what has actually got me in this relationship, because I'm at a place where I truly am attracting yeah, like I'm truly attracting who I believe myself to be, you know, like this person's really my equal spiritually emotionally, mentally, physically, like all of those things.
Speaker 1:He's my equal. So, yeah, you know, but I think that there's times when I don't honor it with myself. Physically, you know, whether it's not sleeping enough, you know, or not resting enough, because I'm a doer, doer, doer, because I'm a single mom. So it's just like there's never. There's never resting time.
Speaker 1:It's all the time, 24, seven, and I have been forcing myself. It's great that you asked this, because I've been forcing myself the last um, just the last couple of weeks of like, no, when it's seven o'clock, you're done, you're not going to go work on another project, you're not going to go, you're going to hang out with your son on the couch and watch a movie. You're not going to go. Well, let me go work on the podcast. Like, I will literally work till midnight. I'll keep finding stuff to do instead of allowing myself to be, and that's where I don't that's where I don't honor myself.
Speaker 3:So then here I would say I challenge you to connect deeper to yourself. See what your body needs right, we're talking about your body needs, right, we're talking about your body rests. Right. Start experimenting, making a little more space for this value to take up a little more space right and see what the impact is.
Speaker 1:Right, because we don't even know. We're so afraid that if we like well, what would happen if I wasn't working on this thing or if I didn't go do that thing? Like, we get afraid that we're going to miss out on something. But I often try to remind people you may need to take a step away for a week from something, just so the energy can actually fuel it, because you're in the way with all the doing, the doing, the doing, the doing, the doing. Correct, correct. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like get out of the way. This is the hard work right.
Speaker 3:It is Correct. Correct, yeah, it's like get out of the way. This is the hard work. It is Integration. Yes, I love that Integration Absolutely. You can take the assessment and know your top core values, but then what are you going to do with it? And so there needs to be some space to unpack the values. How well are you honoring it? Why are you not honoring it? What's getting in the way? Who do you become? What energy comes forth Like? What would the impact be? And then light bulbs start going off, and then you start experimenting. I'll even tell leaders. Write an email from this value.
Speaker 1:That's cool.
Speaker 3:And they're like what yeah?
Speaker 1:like how do I do that?
Speaker 3:You'll figure it out. You know, show up to a meeting in a certain value or with the prospect, let that teacher in you shine and you just start playing and experimenting to where it starts becoming really comfortable. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because that's where the rewiring and that's where the rewiring happens Because you normally showed up with fear and maybe scarcity, and so you default to this, or your people pleasing, or your schmooziness Right. What if you showed up in all of you Right? Right, what if you showed up in all of you, right with that value, taking up so much space and speaking to a prospect, or your, your report, or your boss, or your children, right, right if we're talking to moms here? Yes, you showed up parenting your teen from one of your core values, versus your fear and stress and anxiety and all the things you think is going to happen.
Speaker 1:Yes, Instead of just like they're not going to live out your life. I promise you they're not. You're like I did that and I don't want you to do that. So I'm going to make sure that I'm like watching every move because I don't want you to do that, and it's like oh gosh but that's what we're talking about.
Speaker 3:My daughter she's 16. She'll call me out on it and she says mom, everything you're saying is from fear she feels it.
Speaker 1:That's so aware. I love that.
Speaker 3:So guess what? Your team feels it, your prospects feel it, yes, your boss feels it, yes, yes, then that shift needs to happen, and that's where I work with the clients.
Speaker 1:Like how do, how, how, how are we going to help you shift? I love that, yeah, Cause you imagine those listening just, and some of you, many of you, being moms. But just imagine what it would be like to start parenting and living your life, even in your relationship with you know, your partner or husband or wife or whatever, from a core value instead of from, like the what would I, what would I call it, instead of from your pure machinery of surviving, because that's really what you're doing half the time. You're just surviving. You're surviving the moment, surviving the day, because you're not rooted inside of this beautiful space called your core value, which is your truth at the end of the day, yeah.
Speaker 3:It's who you really are. Yes, and a great way to connect to that is finding its center in your body. You mentioned paying attention to our body and oftentimes when I have a client like you, you were really feeling that relational value, that connection. Where do you feel the center of that in your body when you're in that sphere?
Speaker 1:Are you asking me?
Speaker 3:Yeah, where do you feel it?
Speaker 1:I want to say it's heart, but it's also deep in the sacral. But there's something about it rooting and like the root chakra, like I just feel it all in my core, it almost feels like an alignment, like all the pieces come together.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like it all clicks, so your core in between your heart and your gut right in there.
Speaker 1:Yep, it all just comes together In your heart and your gut right in there. Yep, okay, it all just comes together.
Speaker 3:That's your body telling you right when you're in alignment and tell me where you are when you're in the stress and the cortisol and the scarcity.
Speaker 1:Oh Lord, when do you?
Speaker 3:feel that.
Speaker 1:Where do I feel that? In my shoulders, in my heart, in my head, yeah, and then I have low back pain.
Speaker 3:Oh, interesting.
Speaker 1:Low back pain and hip pain because I don't feel supported and my root chakra is totally out of alignment because it's in pure survival mode and it's just surviving, yeah. And then there's a disconnect from the heart stem to the brain stem. There's like a disconnect in there and yeah, and I can see it like my whole upper shoulder area, I can see it just like inflamed red, glowing stress. You're so visual, Tara.
Speaker 3:Yes, I am. So your body, our body, always signals to us right, If we are in fight, flight, bond freeze, or when we're in our core. Yes, Our compass. I call our values the compass, the North. Star, your North Star, and so when you start feeling the lower back pain and the tens and you feel like you're up here for me, like even my head gets hot from, the overthinking.
Speaker 1:Oh, like how many people gets hot from the overthinking. Like how many people are out there having headaches and migraines, like that should be a huge indicator right there that you are out of alignment.
Speaker 3:Yes, so to shift to the other center of where that value lies and operate from there?
Speaker 1:Yes, and I wanted to ask you, as we talk about leadership rewire, what practices do you offer or provide people that help ground them under pressure and bring them back to that alignment?
Speaker 3:I do a lot of visualizations with my clients, like right now, visualizations um with my clients like right now just a little bit of where do you feel the center?
Speaker 3:I do visualizations on relaxing the nervous system with just a muscle relaxation from head to toe. I asked them to remember a time where they were connected to meaning and purpose. Maybe it was yesterday, maybe it was when you were 16 and you were on vacation. Like I just help them gather the memory of meaning and purpose. And it's so interesting Once people go there and remember meaning purpose and we go, I engage all the senses, meaning purpose and we go, I engage all the senses. What does it look like, what does it feel like?
Speaker 3:What does it smell like what are you touching? What's happening is it's creating a new map, yes, or recalling an old map that feels really good and feels in alignment with you.
Speaker 3:That way, when you're in a stressful, you have to go give a presentation, say I tell them recall it, recall that memory of on the lake looking out at the glistening water and you're smelling the pine trees. You know making this up as I say this, but they could easily recall that memory. Your body remembers what it feels like. So that's, that's one way I help people get grounded and rooted, and we play a lot with visualizations.
Speaker 1:What's one thing you could tell people to do right now that are listening, that they can do to get themselves reconnected or recentered, because they're probably driving.
Speaker 3:Yeah, in traffic. I'm so glad you asked this, because this is what we need more of in corporate America. This is what we need more of in motherhood. Yep, there's this exercise I learned in a training I did, called the Betty Erickson.
Speaker 1:The Betty Erickson.
Speaker 3:Induction. I love that. And you can go Google it and basically all it is is using your senses. You just ask yourself what are you I am? You say I am aware of three things you see. So you say I am aware of this painting in front of me, I am aware of the window, I am aware of seeing terror on the screen. And then you go to hearing I'm aware of a car driving right by, I'm aware of my laptop humming. You start engaging the senses. And the third one is I'm aware that I feel. I'm aware that I feel and you could do literal feeling or emotional, and you do it a couple times.
Speaker 3:And I teach my clients how to do this for those who have a hard time slowing down, because this one's simple, it's just turning off the problem-solving mind and being really present. Because to be rooted, you have to be present. Yes, to get back to your core, your compass, you have to be present. And so what better way than what do I see, what do I hear, what do I smell? You can even bring in the smell. What do I feel?
Speaker 1:Because it brings you back to all those senses, really rooting you in your physical self, in your physical realm that's all around you, and then pulling. You're pulling that brain, that heart. What is it called?
Speaker 3:That heart-mind connection yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the coherence Bringing the coherence together and you know, because that's what it is all about in terms of bringing that presence in, which is amazing.
Speaker 3:And you know, I got to practice this with my six-year-old. You know, we go on a little walk every now and then and I'll say let's play our game, because I want him to learn this tool at a young age and. I'll say what do you hear right now? And he'll hear things that I'm not hearing Yep. And then it makes me more present hearing Yep. And then it makes me more present Right. I'm like, wow, buddy, I didn't hear that bird, and it just completely changes the quality of our walk. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because we're both really present.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:Yes, so that's the. That's probably the easiest one for people to engage with, that's probably the easiest one for people to engage with.
Speaker 2:How do you think really understanding your core values can help with tough decisions and tough life decisions.
Speaker 3:Oh woo, yes. Last question I'm like gonna do a dance party tomorrow. I'm like going to do a dance party tomorrow. The worst place I'm going to give the contrast, the worst place to make decisions is from stress, fear, anxiety, because that cortisol is pumping and you're going to do anything to keep yourself safe. Yeah, that's what our brain is trained to do. Yeah, warn us when we're not safe. So when you make decisions from there, you're making them from fear, which means they're not in alignment with you at all. Not at all. You're just surviving. So I teach my clients how to calm themselves down, I guide them and then we tap into oh yeah, I'm safe, my body's safe, I'm calm. Let's remember what's important to me. Oh yeah, for me, mastery is so important. Whatever value starts bubbling up, whatever's needed, your unconscious, or whatever value starts bubbling up Right, whatever's needed. Your unconscious mind knows what to bring up. Yes, it's important to you. Yes.
Speaker 3:And then we say, okay, now let's bring in the challenge, the decision that needs to be made From the center what's feeling important right now? So usually the question I ask what feels so important right now? And I'll give you an example. Yes, I had a client, a COO, show up. He was in a tizzy Tara, he was a mess, he was stressed, he was speaking 100 miles per hour. I know all the signs of full blown fight or flight. And he's like I need to decide if I'm going to fire this person or not. That's what I want coaching on today.
Speaker 1:I needed you to talk to my old manager last week.
Speaker 3:You know, before I had all this training, I would have said, okay, let's do the pros and cons Right.
Speaker 3:Let's do the logic Right. No, no, no, no, let's calm this guy down. And so I did a whole relaxation. I had already been working with him for a long time so I knew his values and he calmed down and I can see through the screen he's calming down. I'm reminding him of what's important to him, comes back, you know, he opens his eyes. I'm like so any insight? And he said I realize all my stress wasn't about firing this guy, it's a no brainer, I need to fire him. It's a no-brainer, I need to fire him. But it was really interesting. The stress that I was experiencing had nothing to do with work. It was my children. I said really, tell me more. And he said I've been neglecting them because he's an executive, he works long, hard hours and this man is a family man. So I was a little surprised.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:And I was like well, what are you going to do about it? He's like I'm going to go to my kid's event tonight. I wasn't going to go. That was the source of my stress. Yes, the guilt. He said.
Speaker 1:I was just going to say, yeah, the guilt in the background.
Speaker 3:It was the guilt and shame that he was heaping any other way, like I couldn't have known that. But when he calmed down, he recentered, he got rooted, he remembered what's really important to him. There was clarity. So my answer to your question is you become very decisive because you're so discerning on what's really happening.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, and then you're you're really choosing from power. You know what do you mean? Well, I always say so. I, I believe this life is a mastery of choice. Okay, but, often like you're just, you're just choosing. Do I need to go to the bathroom? Do I not need to go to the bathroom? Should I spend the money? Should I not spend the money Like?
Speaker 3:every second of your day is a choice.
Speaker 1:It's an absolute choice and it's mastery and choice. But a lot of times people will make choices not from powerfully choosing. They're choosing from scarcity, lack, fear, total cortisol, no thought behind it. It's just like a knee jerk choice and the next thing you know you haven't mastered that choice, because now that knee jerk choice just rode you down an even bumpier road. Yeah, there's consequences, more consequences and more things to navigate, and so it's coming back to rooting into these core values of self truth, discernment, resonance, and then you're powerfully choosing.
Speaker 3:You're being intentional, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Wow, that is powerful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's. You know, one of the exercises when I was at Landmark it was chocolate vanilla choose and for the longest time people had a hard time. You know they would choose or they wouldn't choose, and it was like chocolate vanilla choose and because we get caught up in our heads about but if I choose this, what's going to happen? And if I choose that, like you just have to powerfully choose and then once you choose, you got to know that you chose it and there's no going back. You know you chose that, you powerfully chose and if you regret it, you didn't powerfully choose because you were operating from this place of scarcity or fight or flight. And so, yeah, I mean, I think this is all so amazing because when we talk about values, resonance, presence, flow, being at peace, sounds, so good Right, so good and, honestly, I think that's how we're really all supposed to be operating every day.
Speaker 3:The ease and flow. It's the fruit of living by your compass.
Speaker 1:Right. And when I see that from a macro perspective, it's not that it hurts my heart. Here comes the intuition coming in. It's when I, after having this conversation and I see it from this macro perspective all these beautiful human beings on this planet, more so in this country. It's been designed to never allow us to stay rooted in our compass. It's been designed to constantly keep you out of out of alignment, out of being rooted, so that you are constantly in fear, you are constantly in survival and that disconnects you from your God source energy, which is that powerful connection where you get to powerfully choose, you get to powerfully stand, you get to powerfully root and I hope everybody hears this from a point of view or from a context of you know, you, you want to I hate saying it this way you want to survive the times, then you have to get present and root into yourself fully and you have to. You know and I just heard the word sovereign and I know people don't always like that word, but it really is becoming the sovereign self.
Speaker 1:And you pointed out earlier, vanessa, there's nothing out here in front of you that is going to bring you the peace and the joy. That's also a design that is like look the carrots out here, the carrots out here, keep chasing the carrot. This carrot's going to make you happy. It's over here, here, it is here. It is over here. No, you'll never be happy until you start looking in the mirror, because all of your happiness resides within, and that happiness is a choice, a powerful choice, and a choice in which you have to, I believe, really dig deep and look at all those parts within you that are like well, what has me feeling, however? I'm feeling that doesn't feel good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know where is it rooted from and do I need to hold on to that? And you know how am I projecting it out to my friends, my family, myself. How am I? Am I overeating? Am I not exercising? What are the things that I'm doing to stuff that void or the noise down? Yeah, and then I'm just going to keep operating and chase the carrot, chase the carrot, chase the carrot. No, don't chase the carrot, Like, bring it all back in. I think I'm a little bit on a tangent, but I just see that, you know, I see that overall picture and sometimes lately and I probably am going to stop sharing this because I have to stop sharing it because the universe will powerfully manifest but lately I have been sensing the desire to sell everything and leave the US, and not to run away from the US, but more to find some little tiny country where life is just a thousand times slower and I can enjoy the fruits of life because, in this country currently.
Speaker 1:It's like a meat grinder. It's just like like we're just going to grind them out, you know, and everybody's chasing the carrot to pay the bill, to get the next thing, to pay that bill, to get the next thing, and then pay yet another bill and everyone's forgetting to live. Now, I shouldn't say everyone, because there's a lot of us like you myself, and there are people listening to this podcast that are our whole mission inside this meat grinder is like we're trying to find how do we live at peace and love and harmony inside of that fast pace. It's calling you to go spend more money to make more money, to spend more money to make more money. No, how about you just be with your family, be with your kids, be with your friends? So yeah, it's a little bit of my little.
Speaker 3:Well, tara, when you were speaking, so much was coming up in me and then you started hitting them. But I want to. The first thing is we're in a society that's just distracted. There's so many distractions. There is something for everyone you know, social media, number one huge distractor.
Speaker 3:See it with my teeth. It's a constant battle over here of limits and boundaries, and then we're distracted with comparison, the American dream, right, success, right, there's so much noise, noise, right, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise. What you should be buying, what you should be doing, what success means? It's just, it's in, it's just, it's embedded in our culture. Yes, and people don't want to deal with their hard feelings, they don't want to sit in it. I didn't Be positive, let's just be positive, let's keep going, then carrot, then there's the next carrot. It's like this game we're playing. So there's that piece. We're just distracted. So we have to learn to come back and focus what's going on inside of us.
Speaker 3:The second thing that came up when you were speaking was everyone has the basic need to be seen and heard and loved or belong, all of them, percent. Yeah, that's what people really want. So they're doing all the things, trying to chase the carrot because someone's gonna love them, they think that someone's gonna, or they were taught that right, yes, you get an a, you get a reward. Yep, you achieve this. I'll give you this. Yes, right, mom and dad only pay attention to me when I achieve. Yes, right, we're taught this, so you first have to be seen and heard by your own self. That's a whole episode. I know, I know it really is.
Speaker 1:I'm like I just want to fix that one too. Yeah, yeah, it is. You want to be seen, you want to be heard. And heard, but you have to do that first with yourself.
Speaker 3:Yes, because then you can't see and hear others. No, then the third thing that came up in me when you were talking was the more you live in your values and you understand that everyone has their own map of values, their own compass. The judgment just melts away.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:There's not judging, because everyone has a reason why they're doing what they're doing.
Speaker 1:I love that you said that I may not agree, because it's not my value system Exactly.
Speaker 3:But you know what I have? Compassion, yes, and it makes me get curious.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:Like, oh, tell me more, how come you're being such a jerk right now? Right, why is that important to you? Yeah, and then you know with my clients. I'm like, oh, that makes total sense. Yeah. And then you know with my clients. I'm like, oh, that makes total sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so it makes us kinder and softer, Softer and curious and compassionate yes, when you're living in alignment with your values and I tell people often I've been kind of beating this one to death because I I find it very fitting in this world right now. We, as souls, all came here to have our own experience and you can choose any experience here. Like you could be the best plumber, you could be the best president, you could be the worst president, worst plumber, you could be the best psycho killer, you could be the worst president, worst plumber, you could be the best psycho killer, you could be the best teacher. Like you, literally can come here and live out any desire. Yeah, we're a right choice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, free will and total choice, and it is not for me to judge. I may not agree with you, I may not like it, and hey, by the way, there are some serious consequences for some of those choices. Yeah, but if that's the path and experience, your soul is here to experience. I have no say in. That Doesn't mean I want to be around you. Maybe, or maybe I do want to be around you because maybe I love the choices you're making.
Speaker 1:But really I feel a lot of the distraction, and the noise that you even brought up is just that, like people having all this judgment and pointing fingers hey, there's three more pointing right back at you. So why don't you focus on you and when you find, you then bring yourself to the party, because then you're going to bring something so valuable, so valuable but it's very much what you said where this is just a culture designed around distraction and I, I that's a whole nother conversation, Cause I feel that that distraction is designed to keep you disconnected from source power, God at the end of the day. And there's even distractions in those worlds too, Like we want to talk about God and religion. There's a whole, like that's a whole nother thing too. But again, it's it's you choose your lane and live it to the fullest and enjoy it. Amen, you know be of service to.
Speaker 1:I'm like be of service, damn it be of service, but that's just my core value. That's my core value and you don't have be of service damn it be of service, but that's just my core value. That's my core value and you don't have to be of service. That's just what I choose. But yeah, it really is. It really is just coming back to center all the time and bringing it right back to self.
Speaker 1:Like what is it that's important to me in this moment? And it's funny, one of the courses I took years ago it was very deep in, like psychology and sociology and things of that nature, but really what it came down to is that your whole existence, for living, is to be seen and heard. Like your whole existence out there is, you're trying to show people look, I exist, I exist, I exist over here. Look at my hair, look at my outfit, look at what I said, I exist. Like when you get down, when you break down, all the human layer at the end, like at the very root of it, is just this, this being within you, trying to prove that it exists. And that goes back to being heard and being seen. And when you're heard and when you're seen, you feel like you exist.
Speaker 1:Somebody sees you, but it's also to your point of can you see others?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Even if they have a totally different belief system, yes, a different political view. Can you allow them?
Speaker 1:Yes, and can then you allow them grace to have that, because I believe that there's something beautiful in whatever their choice is yeah. They're learning something really beautiful and deep and valuable to themselves that they will contribute to this greater good over time. Yes, so, oh, my gosh like so many things we could go down.
Speaker 3:I know when you were saying that. It reminds me of. I truly believe that every human is amazing, right we?
Speaker 1:are all here to make a difference.
Speaker 3:Yes, and when I talk to someone, wherever it is, I want to figure out what their amazingness is. Yes, and that's probably because I'm a coach and I love service.
Speaker 1:Well, it's, it's because that's, that's part of your core value. Yeah. And it's a light that shines. Yes, yes. Yes, and and and. For me, maybe it's because that's my core value also. For me, I, I and I just got chills. I, I really believe I'm like. For me, I and I just got chills. I really believe I'm like you know, that's God's gift. Right there, it's like I want to be curious about who you are. Who are you and what?
Speaker 1:do I get to learn with you and from you? And doesn't mean I have to agree but there's still something beautiful and special about who you are. You know everybody, everybody, and that's. You know even the psycho killers. Okay, because? Because I think you know every soul on this planet was born with just pure love and joy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, there's a reason why it's conditioning.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's conditioning and the human condition is real and the human mind is fragile. And I say that the human mind is fragile because it's easily conditioned and it takes something for the soul within to do the work to uncondition or recondition or rewire, as you said Like, bring it back to leadership and rewiring. Like it takes something for you to rewire your brain and then live a life that you love.
Speaker 3:And trauma does so much damage. Oh my God, but you can. You know, you can rewire, yep, you can reparent, yes.
Speaker 1:Part of you. Every day is a new day. Every day, yeah, do over. Let's do a do over okay, so so you know we could go on forever. But, vanessa, where can listeners find you? Where can they find you? So I'm going to put all the links down below in the show notes and I want to wrap up the show. But where can we find you?
Speaker 3:you can find me on LinkedIn. That's where I share. I share my heart. There, I share my work I do, I, I feel like I don't mind showing my true struggles and my vulnerability. As a business owner, a woman, a Latina, a coach, I'm there to add value and to bring on connection, because that's one of my core values is the connection. It's an ultimate key to mine. So LinkedIn is the place you'll find me regularly.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, vanessa Yu, and that's why you and I will put I'll get your LinkedIn link, and then what is your website? My website?
Speaker 3:is coachvanessaucom. I just redid it with an amazing web designer and you can find free resources there. I have a monthly time I'm going to start called Turn Down the Noise. Ah, love, that I'm going to for free. You can come recenter.
Speaker 3:I love that and find your clarity for whatever's going on in your life, it's for leaders, but, as you mentioned, everyone's a leader. Yes, number one, you're leading yourself, yep. Number two, you're leading those in your sphere, yep. Whether it's your children, your call, whatever, like, everyone's a leader. So it's called Turn Down the Noise. I also have some journal prompts that really evoke more values and download that for free, and then I'm starting a leadership book club. That's awesome. That's awesome and that's where you can find me. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I have a newsletter that I send out monthly every now and then it's twice a month, but now it's monthly, that's fantastic I I just want to say thank you for joining us on Rooted in Rising today and, you know, thank you for being my first guest on my first new podcast. Yeah, like my new rebranded podcast.
Speaker 1:So yeah, because I think that rewiring leadership and really living and stepping into your truth, it just it resonates. So I want to say thank you for reaching out and I'm really excited and so all of you who are listening, as I mentioned, I will put all of the links down below in the comments. Um, as I mentioned, I will put all of the links down below in the comments. Uh, be sure to comment, you know. Or I should say, what's a question? Is there a question you want to leave people with that maybe they can comment on.
Speaker 3:Yes, well, there's a couple questions. Is what do you, what are your values? And you know there's so many resources on on the internet that you can go help yourself. Um, and the second one is who do you become when you live out your values?
Speaker 1:So what are your values, y'all?
Speaker 1:And who do you become when you live out your values? Like, what does that really bring? And I love that. So comment below, tell us what your values are and maybe even share with us. If you don't know your values, maybe you discovered a value while listening to us today and share that and really feel into. What would life look like for you if you were really rooted in that value? Yeah, and it's not even rooted because it's there, it's just owning it and understanding what would life look like for you if you were really rooted in that value. Yeah, and it's not even rooted because it's there, it's just owning it and understanding that. That's your value, and owning that value because they're there.
Speaker 3:First you need knowledge of what those words are yes, what those values?
Speaker 1:are. Yes, it's like putting it's, giving them name, giving them resonance in your body, and I, I love that. You know, when you said mastery, I was like oh yeah, mastery, which goes for my crazy, like you know, the perfection part of me which is like it's got to be perfect it's gonna be perfect and it's like, oh, that's just me trying to master that mastery piece, because then I feel like I have something more to give back. What were you gonna?
Speaker 3:say you know what, if people, I wouldn't mind. If I received an email asking for my assessment, I'd be happy to share it with people. Oh yes, needs and values you get both. Yes, yes, they can.
Speaker 1:If anyone emails me, I will reply Okay, great, then I will also put your email in there as well. And what is your email?
Speaker 3:It is Vanessa at coachvanessayoucom.
Speaker 1:Perfect. I will add that to the links as well. So thank you so much for being with us today and thank you everyone for listening to Rooted in Rising. We're going to see you in another couple of weeks and I look forward to having you guys all back on the show. Be sure to comment like share this episode with anybody who you feel it might make a difference for, and thank you for always being with us.
Speaker 1:We love you have and thank you for always being with us. We love you have a great day. Thank you for rooting in and rising with me today. If something in this episode stirred something in you, take a breath, take what you need and let the rest soften. Be sure to follow the show so you don't miss what's next and, if you feel called, share this episode or leave a review. It helps the space grow and reach others on the path. Until next time, may you walk with trust, speak with love and rise in your own time. I'm so grateful you were here with us and thanks for being here. We'll see you on the next episode.