Intuitive Mentor Mom: Strategies for Life Empowerment, Self Love and Gratitude for Single Moms
Welcome to **"Intuitive Mentor Mom,"** the podcast that invites you to look at life through a new lens! Join me as we explore the idea that life is happening for us, not to us, transforming those frustrating “Why me?” moments into enlightening “Ah, so that’s why!” revelations. Through my personal journey as well as others who join me on the show, we'll share insights on shifting perspectives and embracing growth as we navigate the beautiful tapestry of life together. Whether we're delving into relationships, tackling cosmic questions, or unraveling career and parenting challenges, each episode will inspire you to uncover fresh perspectives and recognize that every twist and turn is guiding you toward the best version of yourself. So, grab your favorite coffee or tea or hot toddy, get comfy, and let’s embark on this exciting self-discovery and adventure! Tune in and let’s uncover the magic of life’s challenges together!
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Intuitive Mentor Mom: Strategies for Life Empowerment, Self Love and Gratitude for Single Moms
29: Igniting the Sacred Feminine with Madhura Joshi
The sacred feminine is rising, not to reject masculinity but to restore balance in our lives and on our planet. In this soul-stirring conversation with feminine leadership coach Madhura Joshi, we explore what it truly means for women to "come back home" to themselves.
• The feminine journey is about "coming back home" to ourselves in a deep and sacred fashion
• Our culture has conditioned women to look outside themselves for validation when everything we need is inside
• The current feminine movement isn't about divorcing or being better than men, but finding sacred balance
• Women lose their power when they get stuck exclusively in masculine energy
• The connection between feminine energy and physical wellness, including vaginal health
• Madhura's personal transformation story after breaking free from a restrictive marriage
• The importance of women understanding their desires and learning the art of receiving
• Simple practices to reconnect with your feminine energy like mirror work and embodiment
• How to balance masculine and feminine energies in dating and relationships
• The power of surrender as a key aspect of femininity
Madhura shares her powerful personal journey from feeling shackled in a restricting marriage to experiencing a profound transformation after embracing her authentic feminine power. Her story illustrates how many women have disconnected from their feminine essence – not because they want to, but because they've never been taught how to access and embody it. We discuss how this disconnection manifests physically, emotionally, and energetically, and why reconnecting with your feminine core is crucial for your wellbeing and creative power.
This episode challenges common misconceptions about femininity and strength. Unlike earlier feminist movements that sometimes positioned women against men, today's feminine awakening is about balance and wholeness – understanding that both energies are essential but that many women have been forced to operate predominantly from their masculine side, depleting their true power source. We examine how this depletion affects everything from sexual wellness to financial abundance.
If you've been feeling exhausted, disconnected, or out of alignment, this conversation offers practical wisdom for reconnecting with your feminine essence through simple practices like mirror work, embodiment, and learning to receive. We discuss the art of surrender, the power of feminine sexuality, and how to bring these energies into modern dating and relationships.
Whether you're just beginning to explore your feminine nature or looking to deepen your connection to this sacred energy, this episode provides both the inspiration and practical guidance to support your journey home to yourself. Connect with your divine feminine power and watch how it transforms not just your life, but ripples out to heal our world.
You can find Madhura Joshi at:
https://www.instagram.com/therealmadhura?igsh=OTQ1dXA5cm04NW83
Looking for confirmation, guidance, or support in an area of life where you feel stuck, stagnant, or simply unclear of what to do next? Let's connect: book a complimentary Discovery Session with me, today!
Book a 30-min Discovery Session Here
The sacred feminine is on the rise, and it's not about rejecting our masculine counterparts. In today's episode, we explore the igniting of the feminine within, how it shows up, how you can cultivate it, the importance of our feminine surrender and more. Listen in today with my friend, madhura Joshi, who's a feminine leadership coach. We're about to get started now, so here we go. Welcome back to the Intuitive Mentor Mom podcast, where we explore strategies for practicing more self-love, gratitude and finding new ways to empower ourselves in this ever-changing healing adventure of life happening for us. I'm your host, tara Michelle. Let's get started. All right, welcome back to the show. Us. I'm your host, tara Michelle. Let's get started. All right, welcome back to the show.
Speaker 1:Everybody, I'm so excited. This week I am here with one of my beautiful it's funny, I want to call you like a soul sister. I was going to say like a spiritual colleague. So Madhura the real Madhura she and I met through we actually met in one of our spiritual communities and I've known you for well. I've known you virtually now for oh my God, it's been about six or seven years. It's been a long time.
Speaker 2:Probably longer than that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause I've been working with Tracy for almost nine years now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think since the beginning. I think I came in before I got pregnant. Yeah, so he's going to be 10 in September. So that's amazing, that's amazing.
Speaker 1:So we y'all are going to be talking about? We're going to be talking about igniting the feminine this week and I'm really excited. Medora is actually a leadership coach, she's a speaker, she's an author. I will be putting all of her information down in the links, or I should not say the links, but in the show notes below.
Speaker 1:We were recently on a weekend event and really talking about this igniting of the feminine, and so I wanted to bring her on the show because she herself has gone through a massive transformation, and so much so that now she gives back to the world and supports women through this type of transformation. And I think you're going to be intrigued by her story. I know I have been as I've watched it over the years and then I myself have gone through massive levels of transformation in the realm of, you know, really igniting who I am on the feminine and all of the things as woman and queen and all of that. So we're going to talk about that today. And welcome to the podcast, madura. Thank you so much for being a guest with me today. I'm excited.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me. I'm super excited to be here and talk about all the things feminine and what women are craving on this planet, and I think, what the planet is craving.
Speaker 1:And when you say what women are craving, how do you see it? What do you see as women craving right now?
Speaker 2:I think women are craving coming back home. Let's put it that way. It's this coming back to self in a very deep and sacred fashion, where they feel seen, they feel heard, they feel desired, not just by the outside world but by themselves, like for themselves.
Speaker 1:It's this coming home to realize who they were born to be, their purpose, their mission, that kind of thing 100% and I love that you said this, coming back to self, like inward, because I feel so much of our culture, so much of our world. And, by the way, I wanted to mention, madhura is actually in Canada. I'm in the US, so those of you in Canada you need to seek her out anywhere in the world, seek her out. But if you want to like see her real, live and in person and all your speaking events, are they in Canada?
Speaker 2:No, I'm actually in Miami in September, I believe, oh my God, yes, so I'll be in. Miami at a woman's conference in September on women's leadership and feminine leadership, and I'm in Dallas for another conference in August. So and when.
Speaker 1:When you're in Dallas, you have to let me know, because I'm just two and a half hours from Dallas, perfect, yes, so let's plan that. And Rebecca, rebecca is in Miami, so we should let her know when you're going to be there, cause then you guys should maybe meet. But absolutely we have to meet our people in person. But I but I share all that because I want all of you out there listening, you know, if you get an opportunity to work with Madura or see her speak or you know, just experience her, it's awesome virtually here. We've been on a lot of programs together, but one of the things I wanted to point out that you'd mentioned is this inward Because, as I was saying before, I got totally derailed by a squirrel moment is so much of our culture has been designed to have us look outside of ourselves for the validation or look outside of ourselves for that thing that we think we need, when it is always inside.
Speaker 1:It's always been inside. The whole job is an inside job, and what I constantly talk about on this show is if your world is reflecting in a way that you don't like it, it is simply reflecting what's happening on the inside or what you haven't been looking at from the inside. So I love that you said that, cause I do think you know, and I think one of the things I worry about right now which it's not my problem to worry about, but it does come up for me is as we are moving and stepping into this female feminine movement again. What I don't want to see happen is what happened back in the movement back in the 40s and 50s, where it's we're divorcing men, we're better than men, we're equal to or better than men, or we can do what you can do.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. Well, yes, I'm going to admit I don't like that program Because I don't believe we can do it without the yin and yang, and I do feel that movement served somewhat of a purpose in the spiritual evolution of things, but hopefully to show us that that level of contrast is not what I feel this movement is about today. This is really something deeper, something more sacred, something more spiritual. I don't know. Tell me your thoughts on that, because I see it as so much more. The word tribal comes up, but I do see this thing where there's a lot of male bashing again or I don't need men, or I'm great without this partner, okay, but there's still the yin and the yang I think.
Speaker 2:I think we went into this whole me too movement and went and the pendulum swang in the complete opposite direction for where it is there's no balance anymore, this whole notion of I don't need a man, I can do everything by myself. We are not create. Women are created to do everything by ourselves.
Speaker 1:Neither men or women. Neither men or women, we're not.
Speaker 2:we're not. We are created to be in community. We are created to be couples, we are created for companionship, all of these things. And let's be real, we can't co-crecreate, we can't reproduce without one or the other, and they certainly.
Speaker 1:They certainly are trying to push that movement that we can and I'm like it's it's no, not no the sperm and the egg still need to come together.
Speaker 2:It doesn't work if you know you can't you physically, it's physically impossible.
Speaker 2:So if you tell me that, I'm going to tell you you're smoking a joint that I don't want honestly right, because I think women, we for us to be soft, to surrender, we need the masculine because, again, if we're doing all of the things, we are not in our feminine, we're in our masculine and that takes away our superpower, that takes away the essence of who we are as women. I'm not saying I'm not handy and I can't do things. Absolutely Do I want to. Absolutely not. I don't want to be shoveling the snow all the time. I don't want to be taking out the trash. I don't want to do those things. I want to be nurturing, I want to be soft, I want to surrender, I want to be in that magnetic energy that brings women in and people in, not this whole. I can buy my own flowers. That song drives me bonkers. Get it that. Hey, yeah, you were cheated on and I get yeah, we all can buy our own own flowers.
Speaker 2:It's not that we cannot be independent women absolutely, and it is actually attractive if women have their own thing going on yes but hang your penis at the door when you walk through that door.
Speaker 2:Yes, because it's. It is such a we are giving away our power when we're not leading into that. So I think, yes, this movement of I can do it by myself, yes, we're divorcing men only because the men that were raised there's this, there's this sense of. I think there's a generation I don't know what it is where mothers did not raise men, they raised boys and they just emasculated these men. So we have all these boys that are in men's bodies, expecting the entitlement of. I'm just going to work but I'm not going to do anything to fill the cup of my partner, and she's going to do everything and I'm going to sit on my ass and that's what's happened. So, yes, a lot of these women are coming out of these marriages, going I can't do this anymore. I'm drained, I'm getting sick, I'm carrying weight. I've aged 10,000 years from the point of that and I'm not fulfilled. I haven't had an orgasm. I haven't.
Speaker 2:I don't know what desire feels like I don't even know what I want anymore. So I think that's there's for women. Women want to come home to feeling that desire, feeling taking care of, not necessarily in the financial aspect of it, but in the spiritual. In the financial aspect of it, but in the spiritual, emotional framework of what it is to be a woman, because we are supposed to be soft, so we can support our partner in their evolution through our spiritual gifts. Because women are creators If you give us a house, we create a home. If you give us sperm, we create a baby.
Speaker 1:We are meant to. We, we are the creation. Yeah, we are the Velcro. We are the Velcro of the universe. We are the we are the creation aspect of all. What I love, too, is you were talking about bringing it back to balance. You know I'm and I don't want to strip any independence away from anybody. You, you want to go be independent. You want to know what that feels like. You want to do that. I invite every woman who feels she needs to do that. Go do it and then come back to me when you're exhausted, tired, your adrenals are shot. Yep, you've lost your own sense of femininity because you haven't balanced it. So it is. It's about coming back. It's. It's about coming back to center and balancing it and, like you said, yes, hang your penis at the door. You know it, it's, and it's funny cause I can hear people are going to get like all about that, but it's, it's.
Speaker 2:It is cause there's a lot of angry women in the world it's it's.
Speaker 1:it is because there's a lot of angry women in the world.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of angry women.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is what I was going to say. They absolutely, because you also said this earlier you, you, you diminish and lose your power when you were stuck in that masculine and that is exactly what that dark or elite system wants. What that dark or elite system wants. Hence the movement, because we become less powerful energetically and spiritually when we are focused solely in the masculine. You literally diminish. And when I say that, I just see ovaries like shrivel right, like they dry up and shrivel and it's like you're drying the seeds of the tree and over time that erodes a culture, it erodes a society, it erodes the family, it erodes every living, breathing aspect and function of this planet. When that energetic, feminine energy, the source, your tanks are dry period, your tanks.
Speaker 2:They're dry, your tanks are dry and it also stops you as a woman. If your tank is dry down there, if you've cut off your connection to source through your womb energy, you're cutting off your source to money, and that's what women don't get you want. Sure, you can have all the toys in the world, but there is something to be said about having an orgasm through an intimate connection with a human being, yes, and so, yeah, no, I hate to interrupt, but this just popped in my mind.
Speaker 1:Okay, this just popped in my mind. So you know so many women, especially in my age bracket I can't remember how old you are, but in my age bracket you get into that paramenopausal, premenopause and all post-menopause, and there's this whole thing about the vagina drying up. Sex hurts Sex. Okay, so I don't experience any of that. I don't experience any of that at all.
Speaker 1:Okay, now, yes, I'm doing hormone therapy, but I, I I also practice trying to balance that feminine masculine thing. So, as you were talking, I just dawned on me I was like, oh my God. So any of my friends are the women that I know that are struggling with this dry vagina syndrome, which is incredibly Vagina syndrome, which is incredibly. It's incredibly painful, right, but when we look at it from the perspective of an energetic possibility, I'm curious if those women are operating deeply from a masculine state and how present are they to that true feminine balance within their life? Are they cultivating or nurturing that balance or are they literally holding all the masculine?
Speaker 1:Now, I haven't asked enough women, but I would be so curious to do a study like that. Just go ask those women, like those women who are dealing with and in their OBGYN's office and getting those treatments, to help with that. I want to know what your day-to-day life looks like. And I wonder and I bet you, I bet you they're all so stuck in their masculine, either forcefully stuck there because that's the role they play in their families and that's how their husband treats them, or they choose it because they've bought and sold into that paradigm. That's wild that that just came up while you said that.
Speaker 2:So anyway, yeah, I think there is that piece, but I also think it's because we were never taught to be women. No, we were never taught to be women. We were taught how to have children, how to run a household, we were taught to cook clean, all these things that are innately, I guess, within us as women.
Speaker 2:But we were never taught. We weren't taught about desires in the bedroom. We weren't taught about, hey, what makes you feel sexy and sensual and confident and magnificent? Nothing, we were taught. Yes, make sure you dress appropriately when you walk out of the house, but there is nothing about how to be a woman, like how to truly surrender to being a woman.
Speaker 1:And it's also like I see there's a lot of like men's groups, right, like men, go be men out in the jungle or wherever, but we don't really support that for women. We don't really say but we don't really support that for women. We don't really say hey, ladies, you need to go out into the trees and put on something light and flowy and sing and frolic and play with each other's hair and put braids and flowers, like being in that energy. And I'm not saying that doesn't happen. There are many spiritual groups and communities that create that, but it is not created in a Western culture per se. It is not even in our religious culture. Now, I shouldn't say that because I know there's a lot of religious cultures where they have women's groups and men's groups in the whole nine yards, but it's not the norm. It's not the norm Because if you foster that creation energy, it just doesn't align with that elite system at all. You know which? I feel that is where we are coming back to, or we're coming back to home, and I feel like we can go on and on. But I really want to talk about your story and I want to. I want to ask some questions and share um, because it's I've had.
Speaker 1:I've gotten to witness your beautiful transformation over the years. And so a little bit about her background, y'all. She when her and I met on on the community like we would do weekend events and things together, but what I eventually started learning is that she was not in the best marriage. Her marriage was rocky, it was struggling, and what was interesting is her and I were both in a weekend event and I think that was the same weekend that I was talking about my situation with my now ex boyfriend at the time and Tracy was doing a lot of work. You were talking about all the stuff happening in your marriage and literally and I'll share this, I know we talked about it earlier but what I saw is like you were literally shackled, like no freedom, no, there there, like you could not breathe. And after that weekend I feel like it was shortly after that event he passed away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he passed away literally like within the week. And then I shouldn't say names my ex and I we broke up literally within the weeks. It was like it was. It was insane, and I do feel it was definitely more inside of this energetic evolution that we've all been walking through over the last few years. But what I got to see is, right after that, you like blossom beyond repair. Everything about you changed the way you wore your hair, changed the way you dressed, changed the way you showed up. The real Madura came out Like tell us about that story, because that was wild, and I'm sure that there are people listening that are maybe moving through something similar, not saying that their partners are going to pass. That was something that was very strange and like just I don't want to say coincidental, but it yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll let you talk about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's all good. Um, so definitely like in East Indian culture, divorce separation is still very taboo. It's this you say yes, you get married and you're in it for the long haul, doesn't matter how shitty it is, doesn't matter if you are dying inside, if he's not beating you, and even then if he's beating you. So many women struggle with this. So many women stay in abusive marriages and the emotional abuse and mental strain and in our in my case, it became the case of becoming a caregiver and my late husband had muscular dystrophy and unfortunately, he made choices in his life that the journey was his passing at the very young age of 41. He barely hit 41. He turned 41, december 15th and January 4th they had found him dead.
Speaker 2:So, but I had, I was yeah, I was totally shackled. I could not and I had seen the signs, like something kept telling me I'm just, I'm not here, like this is not where I'm meant to be. This marriage is draining my life force, energy out of me, because I was pouring into this other human in my life, as also as a mom of a young child, and I was going back to school to get my certification as a, as a coach, an executive coach, and so all of these different things were lining up and I wanted a second child. So I planned that to the team because I was like I know when I'm ovulating.
Speaker 2:I'm going to have this child so that my boys have, or my children will have, a sibling. I wanted I'm an only child, so I wanted to make sure that my children will have a sibling. I wanted I'm an only child, so I wanted to make sure that my children I at least have two and so they would have each other. And yeah, it was just. It was as if this big elephant came off of me. So I asked for a separation in February of 2021 and he was still in the house. We had become roommates for a long time. Like, he moved out of the bedroom the day my eldest was born because he said I need to get rest. So I think that was the beginning of the end in many ways, because we didn't share so the intimacy factor. I had shut off my feminine energy. I had. I remember telling girlfriend if I never have sex again, well, that's fine, it is what it is, because I was so trained and I was so blocked and.
Speaker 2:I just had nothing in me. No libido, no, nothing. And I chalked it up to breastfeeding and children and all of all of that. But it was so much more than that. It was just I was. My adrenals had failed. I was in constant survival mode, because you're again when you're taking care of someone who is sick. I guess he went to work and all that, but I was still doing everything else, whether it was shoveling the snow, taking out the garbage, the kids, the dogs, all of us.
Speaker 2:It was my responsibility and that that was that right and yeah and so I think in that process Tracy came into my realm of. Okay, I need, I don't know how it came about. I can't remember exactly how I was introduced to Tracy, and then I think that's when we got introduced Tara, but yeah, so I just had switched off.
Speaker 1:So you'd mentioned, february 21st was when you guys, when you made the separation 21 yeah and then stayed.
Speaker 2:He stayed in the house and I think I just made sure that I was never around, Like I made sure I was busy. I focused on my business. I was just like I'm done. I'm done, I need to focus on me, I need to focus on the boys. Because I said to him in that moment I said I have to raise these children. I cannot be raising you two. I felt like I had three children.
Speaker 1:And I know a lot of women struggle with that.
Speaker 2:Yes, how quickly after that did he pass. So then he moved out January 2022 and by Feb 20 or sorry, january 2022, or Feb sorry, feb 2022, he moved out. Feb 2022 he moved out and by january 2023 he passed, so 11 months to the day. Pretty much was so wild. He passed, yeah, he passed away, and um, and I know we were talking about the dream that I had, so yeah, during this whole separation, the dream during this whole separation period and you know they say dreams have different connotations to it.
Speaker 2:So I had this dream that I was speaking at his funeral and I'm thinking, okay, maybe this is the death of the marriage because our marriage was coming to an end. So, and I had written it out in my journal to the point of like, where I saw my kids sitting where I was sitting, everything, the picture on the screen, all the stuff right and uh, and I remember looking back at it after he passed and I was like what in the heck it was to the t, like it was to the t, and I think it was a couple years or it was a year after I asked for the separation, so just before he moved out, and he hadn't moved out yet. So I was like the dream was that it would. It started that his father was by his bedside and then I was speaking at his funeral. I'm like how is that possible? Because he's still in the house and it looked like a different house, all together in a different room.
Speaker 1:So it was a very deep premonition, premonition that came up knowing yes.
Speaker 2:And it was wild and I remember telling, telling my mom after he was in the hospital and like he's not coming out of this room, and she's like no, it'll be fine, it'll be fine, like it's not, like this is the beginning of the end. I didn't know how much longer like he came out of the hospital and then, I think, within a month, he, he, finally passed.
Speaker 1:Where do you think the root of that knowing comes from, Like when you sit with that in your body where do you think that comes from? I think profound.
Speaker 2:I've always had that. No, something has always told me I think it's just come a long way, as my spiritual gifts have grown and I've connected to God in a different way, but I think God has always protected me. God has always protected me, given me downloads in the sense of, hey, you need to prep this, or somebody will come in and tell me, hey, you need to get this, hey, you need to get this done, or you need to get this done, or whatever it might be, and so I think it's just a gift I've been given. Sometimes it's scary because I'm like I shouldn't know this, this, this like so I never said it to anybody because I'm like, no, this is well. I didn't say it out to the family.
Speaker 1:I said it to some friends. I'm like I had this weird dream.
Speaker 2:I'm like, well, it could be nothing, it's maybe just the marriage collapsing and that's the thing. But I've always yeah, for as long as I can remember, I've always had those dreams. So I think it's just something that that's one of your gifts.
Speaker 2:Gifts no-transcript. Because I was like I don't even know what an orgasm feels like anymore, Like I had no clue what that felt like. I didn't know where I was going to be going, what was gonna look like for my business. And I remember when I asked for the separation is when I chopped my hair and I chopped it short and I went purple but purple highlights in my hair and it was kind of this freedom and he and I did it because he hated short hair, hated short hair. He was like like never gonna cut your hair short. And when I asked for the separation I was like screw you, I'm cutting it, I'm chopping it and all of that energy they say with all that energy leaves when you've chopped your hair, it leaves with whatever stagnation and what you're cutting off from the past.
Speaker 2:So I chopped it off, went into purple, which was a lot of fun. It was fun, it was funky, it gave me a different vibe and it was something that I that was her kind of that Phoenix rising type of energy of okay, let's step out into the world in a different, different way, in a different way, and I had done a photo shoot at a full, full thing, which was really neat. It was a really neat experience to go through and be myself, and that's when I had started talking on stages more and more about the, the power of the pussy, and not in in the way of that word, how it's shown up in society, but really as women. That's where our creative source, that's where we we have to tune into her or her to guide us, because she is our guide, of course. Yes, I remember so many women being like oh my God, but so many women are blocked. Oh my God, but so many women are blocked off because of religious, religious ties, ties, mindset, all of the things, all of it.
Speaker 1:I mean I look back and I love what you say, power of the pussy. And I look back. You know in a little bit, and I think you know a little bit about my background, with dancing for a number of years as a young person, you know, and all of that stemmed from the physical and sexual abuse as a child, having zero self-worth but also believing in my mind that the only way to find love in my life was through sex.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:And that is a big program that we have in this culture and in this country. And I've had to totally chop that one down. And only now, you know, walking into year 55 soon, not yet, but only recently, in the last three years, two years, have I really really started to perfect and hone and own the sacredness of the pussy.
Speaker 2:I'll say those words.
Speaker 1:The sacredness of my sexuality and what I have to bring and how deep and raw and pure and amazing that can be. And I saw how I had used it as strategy, either to stay safe or to try to be loved, and it took me years to really break free of that. And then here I am, a dancer in my 20s. And what are you doing? I mean the power of that. You're utilizing it to make money, to pull money out of other people's pockets to put in your own and you become wildly masterful at the strategy of a sexual seduction. And my first, my one of my first coaching businesses where I worked with women through working with women on body image and and really honing their, their sexuality, their sexuality and their femininity but it was called Simply Seductress, and so that went on for a few years and then I was like that that is the wrong name, that's not right, because it's not about being a seductress. But I could see where that was tied to and where that came from, because there was this part of me as a young girl that really believed if I become this, then I will attract that person I want. Where, today and now being on online dating, and God, that's a whole nother conversation we could talk about. Everybody wants to throw out their sexuality right away to try and hook you. And I'm like, bring me a fucking brain, please, and bring me some fucking interesting conversation. And like, like, really light my fucking fire, okay, not with your dick and not with your dick pics. And no, I'm not going to send you pictures of me. For fuck's sake, I'm not doing it. You know, like all the time send me a picture. It's like fuck, really Like do you have a brain or a mind? Like that's what's interesting. But it was, it was me having to learn.
Speaker 1:But recently I was talking to somebody. It was so funny and he wasn't asking me out. Okay, he was wanting to do a lot of chatting and a lot of video chatting. But I'm like, when is dude going to ask me out? And in a moment I saw myself go to I'm going to become the seductress to get him to ask me out, and it was so subtle that I missed when I made the switch.
Speaker 1:And then what's interesting, what I love about this story is he got scared and then he like shut the whole thing down altogether, like oh, I was at the wrong time and all this bullshit and I'm like what? But then I was like, oh my God, I totally fell into my own strategy. He picked up on that too, because he doesn't want that either. Like we're both dealing with our shit right now and so, and so you know, and I and I let it go. But I was able to see when I did it in the switch that I made and catch that for myself Like Tara, you don't want to do that, like I don't want to do that. And it isn't that I don't want to do it, or it isn't that I don't want to give it. I absolutely would love to give it up to the right person, but it's not the way in which I want to use that power. 100%.
Speaker 2:And that power, 100%, and that's power that we have. We have, and that's, I think, what women forget is people have gone to war because for us, yes, wars have been created because of women, yes, and we hold this monumental, magnificent power within us. And seduction is an art and it shouldn't, it's a very there's a fine line between using it for the good and for the bad. So when you say that art of seduction and like that magnetic energy, it's not a bad thing and it can be used really beautifully in a very beautiful sense, and I think women need to learn the art of seduction, because we don't even know that part anymore.
Speaker 1:We don't know how to seduce people not in a, but I'm going to say it's seducing self. It's seducing self because the art of seduction it is. We'll kind of shift gears here. It's amazing. Like I, I, I, you know, it's funny when I used to dance on stage and people would say, you know, the clients would be like you, look possessed up there because I'm so in tune with music and my and music, just like it goes right up that that vessel, it goes into that feminine core of me and it explodes through my whole entire body and I move with that and and that.
Speaker 1:That's always what I've wanted women to experience. You find that for yourself, that's sacred and that's yours and then you can give it when you choose someone's worthy of receiving, because that's your energy, that's yours and you don't have to use it to get this thing. Like you know my mom's generation, like you got to find a man. You got to find a man to take care of you. You just got to do the things because you got you know, like gone are those days, like it's not about the man taking care of me, but it is about it's about this this coming together of the man brings his power, his presence, his provide, his sacred protection and I bring that sacred nurture, that sacred feminine, that sacred seduction. It's like when I don't know if it's sounding right, but when you lock that together it's a whole different energy than I need to find a man or I need to find a woman, like this thing that we all run around trying to do.
Speaker 2:And yeah, we're chasing the outside instead of chasing the inside. We're chasing outside of us instead of seducing ourselves, to loving ourselves, to enjoying who we are, at our core and the essence of our being.
Speaker 1:And I think most women don't even know the essence.
Speaker 2:Oh God, they don't have a clue, they don't even know the sweetness or the fruit of who they are?
Speaker 1:Nope. They don't and so afraid to find it, so afraid to find it, so afraid to feel it and so afraid to even talk about it.
Speaker 2:Because there's shame around it. So a lot of women there's shame around enjoying sex, there's shame around physical abuse in at childhood, like there's so much shame and I'm I'm like you in the sense of I tried to control my. I thought, okay, that's the only way to find love based on my, the sexual abuse I had when I was a child, and it's this. And so when you're older and you're like, oh, yeah, and then it's the promiscuity and there's just there's so many different pieces of the puzzle that come into play and it's like, okay, well, I get to control the narrative of this, so I get to control the man instead of the man controlling me. Right, and you lose yourself in that sense because you're not. It's not coming from a place of control of self, it's coming from a place of but if I control it, then they can't hurt me of controlling another, another. And so it's very interesting when it comes into the play of that feminine and women being scared Because, again, their mothers you've always been told be seen and not heard.
Speaker 2:Your desires don't matter, your pleasures, the only reason you have sex is to procreate. The only reason it's always about your husband's pleasure, um, or your partner's pleasure. It's not about you, you don't matter. But let's be real, we didn't matter why. Why do we have one? Why do we have a clitoris Like? But we have the one? If we look at the penis and we look at the clitoris, the only job of the clitoris is pleasure. The penis is a multi-tool, so why?
Speaker 1:that's never looked at it like that.
Speaker 2:I'm like okay, it's a multi-tool and that's why, if you look at cultures different cultures I know it happens a lot in Africa is they actually circumcise women. They cut off the clitoris so that women can't feel pleasure, and it's that they're cutting off from what they're meant to experience in life, which blows my mind, and they're still doing it to today. Yeah, it blows my mind.
Speaker 1:It's amazing the different traditions we have throughout the world, all in the name of God, whatever.
Speaker 2:And I don't even, I don't quite I have to do more research into why they still do that tradition of technically castration.
Speaker 1:I would guess Well, I feel like, why do we still do it here in the States? I mean, I, my ex-husband and I had a big fight over whether or not we were going to circumcise my son and he won, and my son got circumcised and I was pissed and and because I see it as some form of mutilation and I see it as a man who's uncircumcised gets more pleasure, has more sensitivity and you know like he should have that right and why are we what are we?
Speaker 1:what are we cutting off? Why? And it's religious, it's religious, it's religious, yeah, and it's. You know, my mom and I had a conversation oh, but it'll be cleaner and he won't get bacteria. I'm like, I'm like, okay, that's the dumbest story I've ever heard, because women, girls, little girls, have a hot, moist pocket. Okay, that all kinds of things can get in there, and nobody's telling them, yeah, no, nobody's telling us, like we're going to get infections, like it's such a. It's the insanity of the things that we have programmed people to believe. And it's like leave the body alone. It's a beautiful thing and it was. It was meant and designed to be exactly as it is. You don't need to touch it Now. Granted, if you want to go change your body later as an adult, you want to fix, clip, snip, dip, whatever, but when you are born that way, just leave it.
Speaker 2:Just leave it. Yeah, I agree, like my boys, my boys are not circumcised. And then my eldest kept getting infections and he wasn't able to pull the skin back and I said to him I said, look, you need to put this cream on, because if you don't, we will have to, because again it's going to cause problems of growth. So in those circumstances I get it. But, yeah, me and my late husband had that same. We argued about that. It's like, oh, I wish I had. And I said you made a choice with me. We agreed not to. And now you're coming back at me with this. Yeah, if you want it and cause, I told him. I said you wanted to do it. You could have taken him. Yeah, you could have come with me and taken him and I would have done, but I'm not.
Speaker 1:I wasn't going to go by myself. Yeah, yeah, they did it with my son. They did it 14 days after birth on a table with a local, and I watched them mutilate my child while he laid there screaming. I'm crying and my ex-husband is feeling like shit, only to find out later that his brother because for him it was a religious thing and then he went and asked his brother and his brother was like we didn't do that, and then he felt bad and I and I kept trying to find all the evidence. And I'm not saying that somebody is not going to get an infection, right. It's. It's, it's possible.
Speaker 2:Little girls get infections, we get infections, but it's like it's just you kind of have to hit or miss it and then later on they put them under full general anesthetic and then they have to do it. If they have to do it, yes, but that's as a parent teaching them to be like, okay, you've got to pull it back and clean, and yes.
Speaker 2:And so I think it's just yeah, it's all these things that we do in society based on religion and all this stuff. But I think, as women, we have just been told that we're not supposed to do all the thing we're not supposed to feel. We're not supposed to dress provocative, whatever it is, because some women feel sexy in sweatpants and a hoodie. Yes, some women feel sexy in a dress. It doesn't matter what you wear, it is, it's a it's a inside, it's a it's a inside job, inside job.
Speaker 2:It's how you feel inside job and we, and so that's that's how that evolution came. And as time went on, and yeah, she evolved and then now she's who I am today, which I absolutely. I love who I am today and it's it's about an embodiment. That's, I think, what came out of everything. After I could breathe a bit, but yeah, it's, it's this whole elephant. When you go through these scenarios in life and you, you realize, okay, I don't I don't want to live like this, like I want to.
Speaker 2:I want to embrace the life that I have and I think women are so scared to embrace that. And there's I had I had a conversation with someone and she's she's like, oh, I want to be more intimate with my husband. I said, okay, is that coming from you or for him, from him? And she said it's coming from me. I'm thinking, okay, what's, what's the hold up here? And it was it's about. I always believed it was about my, it's only about my husband's pleasure. And I said, well, where do you think that came from? And it was it. We kind of had to unpack that a little bit, but that's that's another thing that women was. We kind of had to unpack that a little bit, but that's that's another thing that women have in the back of their mind. It's like it's all about him. And I'm thinking you realize that the more if he's turned on by you and the more sex you have with your husband, the more intimate you're going, because your body as women, the more we have it, the more we want it.
Speaker 1:More than men I feel like. Okay, and I'm going to preface when it's good.
Speaker 2:Yes, no when it's bad when it's good. When it's bad, you want to avoid it like a 10-foot pole.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because one of the things that I always would talk about in the workshops that I did with women it's about allowing a man to get in tune with you and have him listen to your body and have him be present with your body. But it's not even about being present with your body, it's being present with your essence. But you first have to understand your essence. You have to know who your essence is, what your essence is. To even call him in because that is what we're doing we're calling him in and I feel like that is when that seductive piece comes in, but it isn't from a place of manipulation, it's from a place of love, because it's like, from a place of like I am. I am embodying the wholeness of myself, falling deeply in love with me in this moment, to call you into me and to call you up into your strength and your power, to claim me, to possess me in this moment, like that's what I'm like. Fucking claim my shit, like exactly, throw me over the shoulder and take me to the cave.
Speaker 2:Just have your way with me. But again, a woman, you're right, women, don't? They don't? They don't have those times where they're just sitting with themselves and, I think, understanding who you are, who you are, what turns you on? Do you know what turns you on?
Speaker 2:And it's not in the sense and and this comes with regards to life as well as in the bedroom is that what turns you on in life, like? What activities are you doing day to day? What is your business? What is your job? Does that turn you on? Does that light you up? Are you excited? And it's not always going to be, because that's not life.
Speaker 2:But if 80% of the time to 90% of the time you absolutely love what you do and you're drawn to that and you get lit up and it's like this drug, an aphrodisiac, then you're on the right track. If you're constantly contracted and you're on the right track right if you're constantly contracted and you're dealing with it just because, oh, I gotta deal with it and that's what it was like and you know this being in those marriages where it's you feel constructed and shackled and just yes, then sex becomes painful.
Speaker 2:Well, it becomes a job. It becomes a job, but your job physically becomes painful like it, and it doesn't matter what their size is. Your whole system shuts down shuts down.
Speaker 1:Yep and 100%, and your pussy's like ain't nope it's. It's even more than that. It's like because I've been in those relationships. It is the. Every cell in my body wants to vomit.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I'm just doing what I know I have to do to survive this moment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the visceral experience.
Speaker 1:And if there are any, anyone, any one of you, man or woman, in that position listening to this podcast, please shoot me a note, please, and reach out to us, because that is not a place you want to be, and there's a lot to heal, and there's a lot to clean up and there's a lot to sort through and and I don't wish that upon anybody, because that is the ultimate form of just.
Speaker 1:I don't know It-abuse, it's total abuse. Yeah, it's absolute abuse. It's like absolute abuse in some of the worst forms, in my opinion, and and you know. But I also look back and say, well, I've experienced that, I now know what that is, I now know what I won't do, and I've experienced it more than once. You know I had to. I had to peel it back in layers and and find it newly and differently and then realize, oh shit, I'm here again. You know, and you know when I want to go back, cause one of the things is I was going to ask, you know, I do want to ask you what is this? What is one step a woman can do to start this journey?
Speaker 1:But one of the things I used to, a few of the things I used to have women do in the workshops that I did is there's a lot of women who've never even looked between their legs and don't even know what their vagina looks like. So that was part of the homework you're gonna go home, you're gonna spread your legs, you're gonna sit in front of a mirror and you're gonna look all in there and you're going to know exactly what it looks like and you're not going to say it's ugly, it's beautiful and you're going to find out, is yours. You know, large, small, whatever, like it's all different shapes and sizes. And then the other thing that I love doing, and I still do to this day, is the being exercises. I'd make people go out into the world and into public.
Speaker 1:I mean you go to the grocery store and I want you to be with everybody and say hello and just make eye contact and say hi and like, if they are making eye contact, you make eye contact and you just say hello and in the amount of shifts that would happen for women, just in that exercise, like people are nice out there. It's like, yeah, they are. Oh my God. People were responding to me and people were just coming up to me and talking to me. I'm like, yes, because you're amazing and you're beautiful, you exist, you are, you're seen. And then they are seen and, oh my god, you made their day because you just saw them and they haven't been seen in a while and and a smile goes so far.
Speaker 2:A smile goes so far, a smile goes so far. And to answer your question about the one step, I truly believe, just like the mirror work, of looking at your vagina it's standing naked after a shower or before a shower and just looking at yourself head to toe and actually saying what you appreciate about your body, like I love my eyes, I like my smile, I love my stomach because it yes, there might be stretch marks, but you know what? I had two babies. It has a baby in there. I grew things in there.
Speaker 2:As women, we are so afraid to be afraid to look and be vulnerable in that sense. And if you don't love where you're at, you'll never get to where you want to go. No, and it's not to say because none of us are perfect, we're not perfect. We're always growing and evolving and expanding and contracting, depending on the season that we're in. Yeah, but it it comes down to look in the mirror and truly embrace the queen, the empress, the goddess that you are, because you are, and it doesn't matter what shape or size you are you can be the tiniest woman or the biggest woman, but there are women out there that have this confidence, and they are not petite, no, you know what Good on you?
Speaker 1:I don't either, girl. I sometimes I'm like damn, she's wearing that and I, but I can't I won't even wear that, you know.
Speaker 2:But again, it's that confidence and and yes, there's other things to be said around all of that, like I know, um, why can't I think of her name?
Speaker 2:She is, her last name is Cameron, but she had actually hid behind her weight for years and she used it as this wall of protection and I think a lot of women, when we have that excess weight it's. It is a wall of protection, because if they see me like this, they don't get to see who I am, and so it doesn't allow women to be the size that they're meant to be, whether that's a bit bigger or smaller or whatever that looks like. And so we, we protect ourselves and we make a choice and we decide in that moment that, okay, I'm deciding to be this, I'm deciding to be too thin, too big, whatever that is. And it's not about body shaming, it's about a decision that you make not to be your authentic, beautiful self Self. Yeah, because you're hiding away from the world, yes, so, yeah, as you're, you're hiding away from the world. And, yeah, coming into front of a mirror and touching, like feeling what your body feels like, yes, and and learning how to have sex with yourself.
Speaker 1:What does an?
Speaker 2:orgasm. Feel like for you. Where are your points If someone were to kiss you? Do you like it? On your neck, do you like it?
Speaker 1:And it's an embodiment practice of receiving, receiving period, period, that, that, that word and that thing right there, that's really what it all comes down to. And when a woman can't receive, she can't be in her feminine Cause. Guess what feminine is? It's about receiving. That's the feminine. It's receiving and, yes, like it is giving, it is giving and it's, but it's it's giving in the space of creation. But receiving it's like we have to receive and that's being feminine and we're so, we're so prone to not. We're just just say no, just say no, just say no. Like if someone just says, hey, can I give you a pencil? No, I got it. Like, just let them get you the pencil. When people say, hey, you need help with the groceries, a lot of times I'll say no, but a lot of times lately, when I find that I'm saying no a lot, I'm like, oh shit, I'm too in my masculine. So then I'll start saying, yes, I'd love help.
Speaker 2:Yes, please help me, please, please carry the one bag, or even just asking, asking for help, or asking saying, hey, you know what this is going on this weekend. Can I, can we meet on this Saturday and like, put it up there and stop expecting and I know a lot of women there's so much out there, especially in the dating world is around this whole notion that he should know he needs to lead.
Speaker 2:He can't leave without you telling him what you need. You can't read your mind. It took me a little bit because I'm like I don't want to feel needy, I don't want to come across as too strong, and I was listening to this one guy his name is Benny or something and I really like what he says because he's like, throw him the keys If he takes it, great, but if he doesn't, then you know where you stand. But you need to tell him hey, this weekend I'm free, especially for those single moms out there dating. You need to tell the man hey, you know what? I don't have my kids this weekend, or I? I look I'm busy for these days, but can we meet this day?
Speaker 2:and if he can't, he can't, yes, but don't you gotta ask in order to receive.
Speaker 1:You cannot just sit here and say kumbaya and expect it to him to know what you're thinking, to know what, what works for you, to know what you want, and it is totally unfair if you are waiting and testing him for that. That is such fucking bullshit Like do not test your man or any man Like and I yeah, I'm in tests.
Speaker 1:We do test. I know we test. I know that's like a thing that we do, but don't purposefully. Well, I'm just going to wait and see what he does. I'm going to wait and see if he calls. I'm going to wait and see what he like. No, just tell me, you know what I'd really like for Valentine's day? You know what I'd really like for my birthday? Oh, by the way, my birthday's next week. I know you have a lot on your plate, you know. Like, whatever it is, I mean, I I'm totally in the dating scene these days and I was recently talking with somebody and there's a little, a little. He's a bad texter. I'm just going to say it and and his bad texting tends to. I shouldn't say it's bad, it's just it's bad. It's it's bad Most, most people, when you text, you just respond Okay, most, everybody does that. He doesn't always respond.
Speaker 1:And here's well, here's what I saw. Here's what I learned about myself, because when we talk about attachment style although I'm secure today, what I my my opposite of that is anxious. So I noticed when there would be this gap in the texting it would trigger the anxiety and I was like, oh, and then I started. I was talking to a friend. I wonder how many hours goes by before it hits that I then become anxious about something. So I used it as an opportunity to learn about myself. But I also knew that we hadn't even met yet.
Speaker 1:So I can't ask this guy for any. I there's like I can't have any expectation. But in him and I talked about this, which was great, and I told him, I said, if we ever got into a relationship, here's what I know I would ask for. Is that if you say, hey, we're going to talk on X night and you can't talk on that night, just let me know you can't talk on that night night, don't call me two days later and then tell me oh, it's like, just tell me, because then I won't go to the place of thinking all the thoughts I just thought and then he's in trouble, I'm in trouble, but that's communication. But I also know that it wasn't something I could ask before I met the guy. No, no.
Speaker 1:And if we get into a relationship because he still has a little bit of that pattern, but we're not in a relationship, we're still getting to know each other there would come a time when I'd say, hey, could you do that for me? Because it would really make. This is how I feel. This is the difference it could make for both of us. It's like that's how you bring those communication and conversations forward. It's like because there's going to be things that he needs to feel safe and there's things that you or myself need to feel safe. Until we get to that place of secureness within our relationship, that then it's. It just doesn't matter, but it's, it's the beauty of communication, and ladies don't think they know what to do or what we're thinking. It's just not fair.
Speaker 2:They don't and it isn't fair. And it's this whole notion of, oh, a man should always lead, but that's not the case. Because, again, leading doesn't mean you have to do everything, and I think that comes in. You're still in your feminine when you say, hey, what's your schedule like this weekend? Um, for us to meet up.
Speaker 2:That's not being needy, that's not being oh, my god, I'm coming over to, I'm coming on too strong. That's letting him know that you want to see him so that he can then say, because, again, they also have their anxieties that are they good enough for you? Do you like them that way? They need that because they also have the baggage as women we bring, because we've dealt with the idiots and they've dealt with the bitches. It's the way it's straight. And they've dealt with the bitches Like, yes, it's the way it's straight. They have and those anxieties come up for them too. And I think we don't, we don't lean into that that knowledge for for ourselves or for women or for men, and dating scenarios where we look at it, go, oh, there's the anxiety piece from their side.
Speaker 2:And it's like, okay, I'm going to squash it by showing up for them in this moment, so that they don't overanalyze, because they do the same, like if we say to them oh, I have something to tell you. They're going to think everything under the sun. Just like if they say, hey, something's come up and do you have time for a call. You're thinking the world is about to end. As a woman, because again we want to feel chosen. We want those desires to be met, so we're also anxious. So until we get to that secure space where we know, okay, this is it, we're locked in.
Speaker 2:Yes, we both have to give each other the keys.
Speaker 1:Give each other the keys, give each other grace and space and allowance. My favorite word these days is allowance. Allow people, allow people to make mistakes, allow people to fall down and allow people to be vulnerable.
Speaker 1:Allow, give people grace and allowance, because we are not perfect and I do believe we've come to this place where we have this high expectation of damn it. You need to be this way or you're out. You know, and I think guys think something. Well, I shouldn't say all men, but there are men that think that about women and there are women that think that about men.
Speaker 1:I mean, there's guys that think that I'm the one that's supposed to be doing all the calling because Bumble has, you know, bumble has made it that you know it's my job now and I'm like, dude, it's a two way street and I honestly want you to show a little bit more interest to like it's a two way thing. You want to hang out with me? Then like let's show up for each other, but don't just wait for me to do for it, and maybe it's the younger generation, not necessarily the older generation.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you've been married. Rules are different because you're older and you know what the hell you want and it's like no, I want to say good morning, and then they'll say it. It doesn't always have to be the guy that messages you first. I don't like. If I'm thinking about, I'm gonna tell you, I'm thinking about you. I don't need to play that game that I'm gonna sit here and pout and wait till he texts me first. Why, like? Why? Why can't men also be chosen? And yes, it's, it's going against the whole feminine movement of I don't need no man type bullshit yeah, yeah, it's like you're going to cuddle your pillows for the rest of your life.
Speaker 2:Go for it. I guarantee you ain't going to be that great, like it's.
Speaker 1:Let them forward to the day. Yeah Right, I want someone in my bed?
Speaker 2:I do. I want to wake up. I want to wake up beside someone who means the world to me and who I mean the world to me and who I mean the world to them. I desire that and I'm not going to apologize for that If that makes me live backwards and all this stuff. Yes, I am an independent woman. I'm a feminine woman. I teach feminine leadership, but doesn't mean I don't desire to have companionship.
Speaker 2:Yes, companionship and partnership and laugh with and move around with and do life with we're not supposed to do life alone?
Speaker 1:No, because if you were, you'd be here alone. I'm going to shift gears a little bit, just because I know we're let's see what is. Oh yeah, we're running out of time here, but I want to shift some gears I want to talk about because we've got this new moon energy coming in. Well, forget the new moon energy coming in. Well, forget the new moon energy coming in Like it's here. I feel it.
Speaker 1:I have had so much go down this week, but I want to read this post from Rewilding for Women. I'm sure some of you have heard of her. She's out there on Instagram, but she had this post recently about the Gemini new moon and it goes like this it's not about more crystals, rituals or mantras. This Gemini new moon is asking for your presence, for the part of you that remembers how to burn with devotion, embody the holy and rise again and again, each time more whole. That's the work now, that's the gift, and I love that because I really feel it embodies back to what we're talking about is it's like embodying the holy within you and really going inward. So I would love to hear your thoughts on that and just talking about that as we wrap up the call and you know, when we're looking at this, you know igniting the feminine within and inside of this new moon, energy which I would imagine many of you are feeling. I feel like I'm shedding a ton of stuff.
Speaker 1:That is no longer serving me and I'm really having to step out into the truly truth of who I am and trust in God and trust in my knowing that all is well. But but it's and it's not about. It's not about who do I, who do I need to be for you, because you're you're. It's not about me being the people, pleaser. Oh yeah, it's really about me being who I am, and you will either appreciate it or not. Period, yeah so I think yes, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:It is about going within and I think the more that I went within myself on the journey that I've been on, the more magnetic my energy became, because, again, people are drawn to high frequency. People are drawn to your joy, your vibration is different, you're, happier you're, and sure you'll have your days like these new moons, that last eclipse and that thing can be gone a year oh, yeah, I think a year. Yeah, I, I'm, I'm, I'm excited about what's happened this year and all the things, but I'm done with this year too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're only halfway through.
Speaker 2:We're only halfway through and I feel like it's gonna be a roller coaster for the rest of the half. Which, hey, I'm on it, I'm proud, I'm happy, but it's just one of those things where I'm like I want to chop someone's head off, like I the patient level, but it is. It's about going within and it's not about doing anything specific.
Speaker 2:It's not. It's not about doing. It's about looking within yourself and asking what do you create, what are you desiring to experience? And then, from that place of alignment and intentionality, then go out and ask so that you can receive that full ask and you shall receive, whether it's asking God or asking the universe, whatever you believe in, but you have to first ask and allow yourself to believe that you can receive it. So, being in that vibration, allow yourself to believe that you can receive it. So being in that vibration.
Speaker 2:So for me, it's, it's all it has been. Be me and the right people will be attracted to me, and the rest, they can all fucking fly a kite? I don't, and I think it came when I turned 40, when I turned 40 in December, there was this energy of I don't give a fuck, like, I don't care if you agree with me or don't, if I'm not impacting your life, like, if it's not something that's really impacting your life, I don't care, I'm going to live my life. Finally, for me, and if you are going to jump on this bandwagon with me, great, if you're not, there's the door Adios, I don't need to be anybody other than myself because, yes, that people pleaser era of me is over.
Speaker 2:And I think women especially come to that at 40. Up until 40, they're treading in that and trying to escape and getting to that point, but 40 hits and there's a light switch that goes off where we finally come in, and I know it gets better even, and you could attest to this as you get to 50. It's even better.
Speaker 1:Well, I feel like to what you're saying. You know, if people are feeling that at their 40s, that means we've really jumped a big jump, because it used to be that you really felt that in your 50s. And that goes to show the amount of work that all of us have been doing as a community. To have those of you feeling it earlier is important. But I see that because I feel even these 20 somethings and 30 somethings, they are more wide awake than we ever were myself at that age and I attest that to the work that we're doing as a community and as a whole. And when I say community, I mean globally and spiritually.
Speaker 1:And you know, one of the things I wanted to add before we wrap things up. But I wanted to add is that you know, I think some women will think that they don't even know what they want. You know they have no. It's like their days are so stacked where it's this, to this, to this, to this, to this, that you're literally surviving your day, especially if you have kids, for fuck's sake, to this, to this, to this, that you're literally surviving your day, especially if you have kids, for fuck's sake. And if you're a single parent, even if you are a married parent. It's like 11 o'clock comes around and you're like I'm still have a million things to do, but I have to shut it down and I don't even have a second to think about. What is it that I myself truly want? And that's when I say either lie on the floor in your bedroom or go out in the backyard and lay under a tree or in the grass and just sink yourself into the surrender of that moment and allow your body to tell you what it?
Speaker 1:needs, because we forget to surrender, and surrender is another key piece to femininity. You must surrender, you must let go and let God and you. And that's like when I lay on the floor, that's when I know I've fucking had it, because I'm like, okay, the floor is just going to ground me and pull me to my center, and that's when I just shut everything down, because if I'm in this standing mode, I mean I'm going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going all the time, and sometimes I have to do that where I just have to stop. And what is it I really want? I don't even know, I don't even. I just want to cry.
Speaker 1:You want to cry, Then cry cry out loud, let it fly. Yeah, you want to rage, then rage. You know, somebody said you can't rage. To fucking go out and rage Just like, lose your shit. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Screaming, pillow screaming a car. Yes, like I've told clients, sit in your car and just yell if you need to get it out or take a pillow. If you don't want to go into your car and scream into that pillow, and let it go.
Speaker 1:I always say to ride a roller coaster. If you can go someplace and ride a roller coaster, that is one of the best ways. Or jump out of a plane. I mean, maybe you can't afford these things, but these are things like I like people. I'm just going to go to an amusement park, but sometimes I will do things like that Go ride a roller coaster, because you will get it out. You know you'll get it out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and I think it is. It is all about surrender and that is a piece it's letting go of control. It is all about surrender and that is a piece it's letting go of control. And when you let go of control and you let, let go and let god, life actually starts happening in a very magical way, and it might not look like the way that you want it to look, and that, I think, is a piece of the puzzle that women need to understand. It's not going to look what you have a plan, that whole, that whole thing is. You make a plan and God's laughing at you because your plan is never going to be as amazing as what God has for you.
Speaker 2:Yes, and so it's it's it's.
Speaker 2:Let go. Yes, take action, take intent. Don't just sit there and expect it all to happen. Show up, be you, be authentically yourself and allow the people to fall in love with the true essence of you, because that those masks need to come off, because, at the end of the day, it's that whole um someone I think it was in Notting Hill, actually she said you go to bed with she's lying in bed with Hugh Grant, and it was you go to bed with she's lying in bed with Hugh Grant, and it was you go to bed with this version of me and then you wake up with this version.
Speaker 2:Why can't you go to bed with the same version you wake up with? Go to bed with that version, because that version is beautiful as she is. She doesn't need to wear masks anymore. And I think we need to let go of those masks Because, yeah, sure, we put on makeup, but at the end of the day, you see women who have so much makeup because they're hiding behind that, and then they wake up in the morning and it's like who are you? Like it's a different version. Or they wake up and put makeup on before they see their partner or their spouse or whatnot.
Speaker 2:That always blows my mind I'm like I do not have the time or the patience or the energy to get up. So I'm what. I'm not good enough as as I am. Yes.
Speaker 2:It's wild, that's wild and there's a lot of people that do that it's here, like it's such a sad scenario for me that a woman like I think it was Napoli, ever after Napoli, it was where she had to cause that's what her mom instilled in her, so she would wake up, make sure she looked like she was a million bucks lying and then pretend that that's how she woke up. I'm gonna wake up with messy hair. I'm going to wake up looking like I look after I come home from the gym, like that's how I wake up. Yeah, if you like it, great, if you don't, I don't care, because this is what you get right.
Speaker 1:What you see is what you get.
Speaker 2:Yes, when I go out I'll put myself together. But you can't keep hiding behind the facade of who you truly are not, because eventually, eventually that's going to crack and you're gonna get older, you're gonna age. But why not age gracefully, in knowing that you were beautiful as you are, you were a goddess. You own it. And if they can't handle it, but that's their problem. And I'm not saying have this bitch attitude that you block everybody off, like there's the whole notion of a man smiles at a woman and automatically she's like I have a boyfriend. He didn't say it, he gave you a smile.
Speaker 1:He's like complimenting you. He said you look beautiful he wants to have a conversation. Is there an?
Speaker 2:ulterior motive? Maybe, maybe, but maybe not Maybe. He just wants to have a conversation, and so you have the conversation and you go on your way. You don't have to entertain anything more than that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's funny, there's I don't know if you're familiar with I can't remember her name, but she does these things called flow dreams summer mixed traffic yeah, summer mixed traffic.
Speaker 1:And there's one that I listened to every now and then, but it talks about cause she's got all these ones about self-love, but there's one about I don't remember how she says it, but it's basically receive the love that people give, the way that people give love. So I practice it all the time. If someone's just going to give you a smile and say hi, just receive it. Who cares what the ulterior motive is? And say, hi, just receive it. Who cares what the ulterior motive is? Like they're just providing love the way they know how, in that moment and I take that on in my dating too, because you meet- an array of people and yeah, and I and I typically used to just be like, oh, cutting that person off or blocking that person or this, that.
Speaker 1:But now I just I receive the compliment or I receive the love. The way they give it Doesn't mean I'm going on a date with them, but I also don't need to be rude to them, and that's I think that's something I wish that we as the female collective would stop. Stop being rude and being mean and hurtful. Yeah, because that continues the divide. And remember the concept of divide and conquer. Well, if people were to really look at that right now, we're divided now by race, we're divided by gender, we're divided by fucking whatever the city, the state, the neighborhood of the country, I mean and they're dividing sex in a multitude of different ways and, and you know, they're dividing the feminine, masculine, like, like. Just remember, conquer and divide, divide and conquer. That's how they destroy community. And how we rebuild community is bringing back the peace, the kindness, the love, the acceptance, the allowance, the grace, and just be kind to the world. Bring love for God's sake. But that's my big push healing hearts. I also want to heal people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, think I think we just. And why, why is it so?
Speaker 1:it's that whole receiving, receive the compliment if someone says oh you're beautiful, thank you, thank you, oh, I like your shoes, thank you, thank you you don't have to, you don't have to be like, oh, I need to sleep with this man, no, or you don't have to think that he wants to sleep with you. He's just telling you he likes you.
Speaker 2:He's like he may, he might want to dance if you're in a club, but other than that you don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. Why is it that and it's this, this snobbish mentality that some women have that you walk into a bar and you're like nobody can touch me yes, and then nobody is going to touch you and you're going to not be in relationships, you're not going to do things because you have this wall up and you're craving love and connection. But when you walk out into the world, it's this massive bubble that no one can enter because nobody's worthy of that right. And so there's this push and pull of but I, I desire this. And there's all the men are jackasses and assholes and scum and this that the other they're not.
Speaker 2:No, but they're not I'm not saying there aren't a bunch of frogs out there that you kind of might have to. Definitely aren't, definitely. But again, you also have to understand, okay. Well, where are they coming from? And I'm not, and that comes grace. Are they coming from a place where they've been hurt and they haven't done the work? If they haven't done the work, yes you 100, 100, but if they've done their work.
Speaker 1:There are genuinely good humans out there, well, and I want to say this too there are some worthy who may not have done their work, who want to do their work with you, and you have to discern that because you may be the person to help make that difference with them, as they will with you, and that is also something I think it's. I feel we all have to get off of our high horses and start really seeing everybody as we are all equal, just trying to survive. We are all trying to do the very best we can. We all have trauma, we all have shit, and I'm not saying you got to put up with everybody's shit. But there are some people worthy of just feeling it out a little bit more, just get a sense of who they are, and and then you get to decide powerfully, choose. But we can go on and on about this topic and I was like it's it's a good one, but I do so. Madura, how can people find you? Where can they?
Speaker 2:find you? Yeah, you, you can find me on Instagram, linkedin, facebook, tiktok, I believe.
Speaker 1:I'm on all the social media, so if you're looking at me on Instagram.
Speaker 2:It's at the real Madura and I've got a lot of yeah, a lot of how to be on there and just me being, and it's it it is about. It's about coming back to self. It's about coming back to who you, the essence of you, because once you're the essence of you, that's the beauty of it. And it might not look pretty getting there, yeah, there'll be a lot of tears and if you're doing your work, there's going to be, yeah. So that's where you can find me.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, I will make sure to put all of the information down in the show notes and then to all of those that are listening. I will be putting together a heart healing workshop. I do not have the dates, but please stay tuned because that is coming up in the next episode. I'll be putting more information out there. Out there about that and for those of you listening, thank you so much. Just always great to have you and reach out to us. If there's anything that we talked about that was triggering or inspiring or exciting and you want more information or you just want to have a conversation, please reach out. Madhura, thank you so much for being with us today. It's just always a pleasure and fun and maybe we could do it again. And then, please, when you were in Dallas. Yes, you have to tell me yeah, cause we will make plans. All right, we will stay tuned for the next episode in a couple of weeks. See y'all soon. Have a great day.
Speaker 1:Thank you for coming on this healing adventure today. If you're starting to see how everything is falling into place for you, consider rating the show and sharing it with one of your friends. Keep that spirit alive and join me next week. Same place, same time. Have a great week.