Intuitive Mentor Mom: Strategies for Life Empowerment, Self Love and Gratitude for Single Moms

18: 5 Steps to Complete 2024: Redefining New Year's Rituals and Celebrating Personal Growth

• Tara Mychelle • Episode 18

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What if traditional New Year's resolutions are setting you up for failure? Join me, Tara Mychelle, on the Intuitive Mentor Mom Podcast as we explore a transformative ritual that flips the script on conventional end-of-year practices. For nearly twenty years, I've embraced a method focused on gratitude and self-reflection, allowing us to step into the new year with clarity and purpose. Leaving behind the negativity and self-criticism often associated with resolutions, we'll focus on recognizing our achievements in various life areas, creating a positive foundation for a fulfilling 2025.

This episode invites you to pause and truly reflect on your personal growth over the past year. We'll discuss how acknowledging accomplishments in health, finances, spirituality, relationships, travel, and career can lead to a deeper sense of fulfillment. I share a personal journey of finding my voice and assertiveness, highlighting the importance of standing up for oneself and the personal victories that follow. By celebrating wins and understanding our growth, we can better appreciate the journey and lessons learned along the way.

As we plan for the year ahead, we'll focus on self-compassion and the understanding that life is a marathon, not a sprint. Unexpected events might shift our priorities, but reassessing and recommitting to meaningful goals can propel us forward. I’ll share my passion for personal growth and hint at exciting future directions for the podcast, including a potential revisit to themes from my previous venture, Simply Seductress. Let's embrace the new year with optimism and gratitude, keeping the momentum of growth alive as we journey together into 2025.

Looking for confirmation, guidance, or support in an area of life where you feel stuck, stagnant, or simply unclear of what to do next? Let's connect: book a complimentary Discovery Session with me, today!

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Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the intuitive mentor mom podcast, where we explore strategies for growing confidence, empowerment and gaining clarity for midlife moms. When life is happening for you and not to you, you can be living the life of freedom, fun and bliss. I'm your host, tara Michelle. Let's get to it All right. Welcome back to the show. I'm so excited to be with you guys as we end where we're nearing the end of 2024. Can you believe that? Because today, what we're going to talk about today actually is completing your 2024 and creating 2025.

Speaker 1:

That's what we're going to talk about, and I'm actually going to give you five steps that I take pretty much every year to complete my year, to complete my year and to step into a new year, and so I want to go over this today. But the funny thing is, as I was digging around in some of my old files and looking for some things, I actually came across. Digging around in some of my old files and looking for some things, I actually came across one of the pieces of paper. It's on a piece of paper where I created my year, and this is back in boy, I think this is 2018. And it's really funny to see what's on here, because there's a lot of things that I've accomplished on here, and then there's still some things that are on this list that I still want to accomplish today, and I get to continue that creation right.

Speaker 1:

So first I want to just ask you know, how did you do for those of you that have been listening and following along how did you do with the exercise of gratitude? With the exercise of gratitude, I will say for myself, it took something for me to stay on track, and I'm still struggling with staying on track. But I still do some gratitudes every day, but not at the level at which I'd like. So I'm gonna up it a little bit more and keep staying on top of myself, cause, you know, it's very easy to fall back into this thought pattern or thought process of you know what are the words. It's very easy to begin to do the negative self-talk when you don't stay on top of something. Or if you don't accomplish something at the level at which you wanted to accomplish it, it's easy to start doing the negative self-talk. So, rather than do that, you just move that out of the way. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, ego, thank you, brain, thank you, machinery in my head. No, we're not doing that today. We're just going to recreate and recommit. So I'm going to talk about that today as well as we move into what are some things that you can do to powerfully close out your 2024 and create 2025.

Speaker 1:

And I have ritually been doing this. I'm going to say close to 15, 20 years, somewhere around that time. It's been since my. I bet it's been 20 years. It's been since my early thirties, yeah, and I'm in my fifties. I'm in my early fifties, close to mid fifties now. So it's been around 20 years that I've done this ritually.

Speaker 1:

And it's powerful because I don't really believe in resolutions like whatever with resolutions, how many of us are very aware that you create a resolution? How long does it last? There's some kind of negative context inside of there and there's something about resolutions really amping up that negative self-talk. It's almost like we've created some strange culture or structure around. Nobody keeps to the resolutions and then you just end up beating yourself up and what is that about? Like that's bullshit. Sorry, I gotta say it's bullshit.

Speaker 1:

So today I wanna share with you, as we approach these next two weeks and we roll into 2025, what I do to create my new year, but, first and foremost, to complete the existing year. And how I like to complete the existing year is really to take time and reflect on what are the things I have accomplished this year, on what are the things I have accomplished this year. Why I feel that's so important is it's very often that we move through our life and we tend to not focus on all the things we've accomplished. We tend to focus on things that we don't have. We tend to focus on things that we're not doing or we haven't gotten to or we haven't been to. Those are the things we tend to focus on, the what we don't have. Humans innately focus on the lack. It's a cultural thing, at least in this world America, okay. It's a cultural thing, at least in this world America, okay. So I really like to sit and reflect and take some time out, whether it's a full day, an hour, five minutes, but just really. You need more than five minutes. It's just really time to reflect and think about what are all the things that you accomplished.

Speaker 1:

So I will literally start back at January. Sometimes I'll even look through my planner to even see like things that I had you know, meetings that I had and appointments that I had and I'll look back and I'll start scanning the year, month over month over month, and then I'll jot down things that I've accomplished. And as I'm scanning that year, going month through month, I'll be like, oh, oh my God, I paid off that bill. Or oh my God, I went on X amount of trips this year. Oh my God, I accomplished whatever. You may have accomplished a weight goal, you may have accomplished a spiritual healing goal, you may have accomplished a travel goal, a financial goal, a parenting goal. There are all kinds of things you may have accomplished, ways about your beingness that you weren't even aware of.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so I want you to really think about this. I want you to take this on, reflect on your year and take a look at what did I accomplish and I say I as in you, you over there that's listening to this show what did you accomplish this year? What did you accomplish in the area of your health, the area of wealth and finances? How about what you accomplished spiritually? What about in your relationships, whether those are family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships? What did you accomplish there? What did you accomplish with travel? If there is any? It could be work travel, it can be personal travel, whatever.

Speaker 1:

What did you accomplish? What did you accomplish with career, career choices, career opportunities? What did you accomplish? Did you accomplish peace this year? Did you carve time out for yourself this year? Did you spend more time with family, more quality time this year? Did you carve time out for yourself this year? Did you spend more time with family, more quality time this year? Did you pay off debt that you were hoping to pay off or even more than you thought?

Speaker 1:

What is it? And write all that down. And once you write it down, I want you to really look at that list and recognize just how much you accomplished. Because that is the thing we don't take the time to look at how far we've come. We're so busy getting caught up in the where am I not at, where haven't I been and how am I going to get there. We get so caught up in that cycle of thought form that we really forget what we've accomplished and how far we've come.

Speaker 1:

Okay, that was step number one. I want you to reflect on your year and then I want you to write down what did you accomplish. Okay, and you might find, hey, I didn't really do much this year, but hey, maybe you did. Or you might find I did so much. I had no idea I accomplished that much and even write down wins for your family. Your family overall may have accomplished some wins that you were hoping or didn't even know. It could be this thing that you weren't even present Like, oh my God, my child accomplished all these things this year. Okay, now step two.

Speaker 1:

I like to ask myself, and I'm going to ask you, how did you grow this year? How did you grow this year? In the spirit of how life is happening for you, how did you grow this year? And to give you examples of, like you might be thinking, what do you mean? How did I grow? How did you grow emotionally? How did you grow spiritually? Did I grow? How did you grow emotionally? How did you grow spiritually? How did you grow financially, if that was a goal? How did you grow in your career? How did you grow as a parent? How did you grow this year? Did you find more peace? I have a friend who that's been her focus. Her focus has been all about keeping her peace, and anything that doesn't keep her peace she moves it out of her life. She's like, if it is not bringing me peace, it is out. So now she gets to look at this year and say, well, how well did I do with that for herself as a measurement, right?

Speaker 1:

I'll say, for me, one of the areas that I really grew this year was my voice, my voice standing in my truth and really stepping up for myself and really saying what I needed to say in that moment. I had a really great opportunity to do that today and I found myself. There was a comment that came through in a text message from somebody that I was recently speaking to, and there was a comment that they made that when I read it it literally hit me in the solar plexus, like, oh, and it didn't feel good and I wondered to myself, why doesn't that feel good? And it just felt dishonoring. And this person I don't know very well and I thought to myself, I don't know that I would talk to somebody that way that I didn't know because I would honor, want to honor and respect who they are, because I don't really know who they are yet. Honor and respect who they are because I don't really know who they are yet.

Speaker 1:

So there was this feeling, but as I began to want to respond, I found myself wanting to make light of it, to make a joke of it and to not really speak the truth. And the truth was it felt like a record scratch and I had no desire to continue the conversation. Like it was like like oh God, no, like, no. And that wasn't the first time in the communication with this person. There were a few other things that just when they landed, I was like huh. And so I had an opportunity to really speak up for myself and use my voice and rather than do the thing I always do, which is, oh, let's just make light of it and have it be no big deal, like it's okay, no, it's really not okay. And I got to say, you know, it's just not okay for me Doesn't work, and that's not how I want to be talked to Sorry, and that's, that's a win. I want to be talked to Sorry, and that's that's a win. And that's an area I really grew this year and it has taken a lot of practice.

Speaker 1:

It has not been easy and you know, there were, I think, in the moment, hurt feelings for both of us, but because we had a quick phone call after that, but it was like, yeah, we're just not gelling, this isn't gelling, no, no, okay, well, wish you the best, wish you the best. And, as you might be able to tell, it was in the area of romantic relationship. But it was like, yeah, this isn't a fit, we're not a fit, and that's okay. Bye. And so that was power for me. So when you, you look at, you know, and that was life happening for me, right, life was giving me these little like okay, here's a little nugget, here's a little nugget, here's a little nugget, do you want that? And I was like, actually, no, I, I, I don't want that, I want more respect and honor. Thanks, that's what I'm going to bring into my life. So, how did you grow? Okay, step two, that's what that was. Okay.

Speaker 1:

Now, working into step three what area did you see the most growth in? Where did you see yourself grow the most? What did life look like this year where you saw the most growth? One of the other areas where I saw a lot of growth for myself was my temperament, my ability to keep my cool and to diffuse myself in the area of parenting, instead of going to that place of like zero to 60 and I'm going to bitch you out right now, really breathing in and thinking about, do I want to make light of this right now, because maybe I do want to bring humor to this moment or is there a way that I can be differently, instead of popping off and exploding Like? Those were areas I really took to heart this year, because I'm dealing with a teenager now, I'm not dealing with a five-year-old or a six-year-old, which I shouldn't have popped off then.

Speaker 1:

But and I honestly my kid, I mean he has seen me go off, but not really Like I mean, a couple of times in his life has he seen me really lose my shit. But for the most part, I'm always really managing my behavior. But even at a whole new level, because I do believe when working with teenagers and you're parenting them, it's a different space because they have a lot of their own voice and opinion and they use it in ways that are like okay, okay, and so I too need to come into the conversation different and I like that about myself and I like that about the relationship I have with my son. We have an incredible relationship and it keeps turning into this space that I'm blown away all the time and he keeps showing me. He shows me who I've grown to be because he reflects. How do I say this? He has become a reflection of my own personal growth in that area, and what I mean by that is how he's able to communicate with me and how he brings himself to me, and how he presents certain conversations or brings up certain conversations, as well as when he says absolutely no to certain conversations, and I'm proud of that, because he is learning to use his voice, and that is a reflection of the work that not only I've done, but he's done too. And so these are the areas like where did you see the most growth for yourself in this year? And again, look from that context of life's happening for you, not to you. So how did you show up for that?

Speaker 1:

Now, step four. Now, this is a tricky one, and this is one I don't like to get too hung up on, because this is one of those spots where you could go into the negative self-talk. Okay, and so step four I look at what didn't I accomplish this year that I had set out to accomplish. The funny thing is, as I mentioned, this sheet of paper that I found that has a bunch of things that I wanted to create back in 2018. And at the top it says all things are possible now, and I wrote needs, wants and desires and then I bullet pointed everything on this list and then at the end I said I expect it already done.

Speaker 1:

Okay, the fascinating thing is there are so many things on this list that are gone, that are done, that are accomplished, and then there's quite a few things on this list that I still, as I said earlier, have not accomplished, and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that because life is not a marathon. It's not a marathon. It is a marathon. Life is not a sprint. Okay, life is not a sprint, it is a marathon and, as you remember, the tortoise won the race, not the hare.

Speaker 1:

So I also like to reflect and say, okay, so what were the things that I had on my list last year? And I'll take a look at that list. Usually, I'll take a look at it and say, okay, what did I want, what did I write down, what did I create and what didn't I accomplish on that list? And all I do is recommit. I don't go down the negative self-talk.

Speaker 1:

Now, there might be some areas or some things that I didn't accomplish that I might take a look at and say, okay, so what had me not accomplished that? Was it something in my behavior? Was it something in my planning? Was it something that it just like it, just wasn't going to happen this year because there were all kinds of other circumstances that aligned that was not going to allow that to happen this year? It could be a number of things. I wasn't expecting to be laid off this year, wasn't expecting that, and I got laid off this year and that dramatically shifted yeah, dramatically shifted. It dramatically shifted some of the things that I had lined up for this year as things that I wanted to accomplish. Things had to be rearranged and changed and so, rather than go down this negative self-talk of, oh, I didn't get it, no, I didn't do it, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh well, I didn't get that done this year, okay, so now it's going to go on to the 2025 list, maybe, if that's something I still want to accomplish.

Speaker 1:

So, remember, life is a marathon, it's not a sprint. There's no hurry, there's no rush, because, also, when we rush, we miss the beauty in the gap. Remember, if you go back to episode one, when I talk about you know being in the gap of life, that being in the gap when you're in the in-between of things. That's where all the golden juicy nuggets are. Now, there are golden juicy nuggets inside of the win or the accomplishment there absolutely is, but those really gleaming golden, just like the golden egg. That stuff is in the gap and when we are running through the gap, we're missing out on things that really need to be looked at, need to be explored, need to be felt, need to be dealt with, need to be cherished, need to be honored, need to be held and processed. So those are things to explore when you're looking at what didn't I accomplish, that I want to go ahead and take on again for this following year and, like I said, you don't have to take it on if you don't want to. You could say you know what, I'm going to change that one, I'm going to change that goal.

Speaker 1:

So, step five what are you most proud of? When it comes to what you've accomplished, what are you most proud of? I will say this I'm really proud of how far I've come in the area of self-worth and my voice and really learning who I am as a woman of power, as a woman who's really stepping deeper into her space of femininity, embracing that at a new level, stepping into my power. As a woman, like I'm still a single mom. I've been single for 10 years. I hold a career, I hold, you know, I hold a mortgage and I raise my son by myself. Yeah, I've come a long way this year in ways of being, in ways of looking at myself and how I carry myself. How do I say this? How I carry myself not only in the world, but I'll fall back on this again.

Speaker 1:

Romantic relationships I sometimes think I need to start moving my podcast more towards romantic relationships, because it's an area that I really enjoy. It's an area that I know a lot about through personal experience and just things and, truth be known, it's a passion. At one point, I had a business called Simply Seductress where I worked with women and we. It was a movement class and it was through pole dancing and it was a lot of fun and I worked with women in with self-image, self-image and self body consciousness. It was when I was living in Los Angeles. A lot of women were actresses. Body consciousness it was when I was living in Los Angeles. A lot of women were actresses or actors. I think they'd like to be called actors nowadays, but it was a really great course and and oh, I lost my train of thought. Where was I going with that? Oh, I was talking about moving in the direction of romantic relationships and that that's actually a passion of mine, and I know what I was saying. So I used to teach the classes, simply Seductress, and I had these workshops. They were a lot of fun.

Speaker 1:

But what my commitment was at that time? At that time I was really standing that through the work that I did and through how I gave back to women that it would decrease the divorce rate by 40%, that was my world commitment and my world vision. I wanted people to be able to find that true connection within themselves, that true authentic voice within themselves, and then be able to stand in that creation of being put together or not put together, but attracting their authentic, passionate play partner in life. And so maybe I'm still very committed to that. It just looks different and I have been on a really long deep dive journey of romantic relationships and really understanding self and others and that dance and finding self-respect, self-love, not only for self but also for others, and helping others see that within themselves. So sometimes I think that might be the direction that this podcast goes, but right now, right now we're just kind of moving along as we're moving.

Speaker 1:

So, anyways, let me get back on point here, because I got a little derailed there and, for whatever reason, I was supposed to share that. So I'm putting it out there into the universe and if people want to respond back, if that's things you want to hear and listen and talk about and talk, you know, talk to me about cause, oh my God, I have more people. I think people come to me almost daily for coaching on romantic relationships. It's wild and more and more men starting to come and I'm like, why is this happening? But you know, life is happening for us, not to us, so just listening.

Speaker 1:

So, anyways, back to step five. What are you most proud of when it comes to what you've accomplished? And I really want you to take a look at, when you look at what you've accomplished for this year, really think about what are you most wowed by, what are you most like? Wow, I accomplished that. What are you most proud of? And then, how would you celebrate you? How would you celebrate you? How would you celebrate that win? I know, for me, sometimes I like to celebrate a win, like simply going and doing something really nice for myself, whether it's getting myself a massage, whether it's just looking myself in the mirror and telling me how much I love me and just really getting like who I am for myself. And it's called being work, actually, if you can be with yourself in the mirror and that's like you just be in the mirror and just look deep into your eyes and just be with that beautiful soul, celebrate you because you're incredible and you matter and you're awesome and you're amazing and everything you do makes a difference. Everything you do makes a difference. It impacts the world in ways you have no idea, and that's why it's really important to really be aware of who are you in this world and how do you impact others, because you really do make a difference. So, whoever's listening to this, you make a difference and you matter and you're important.

Speaker 1:

And 2025 is your year, because now, after you've done these steps, now is the time that you begin to create your 2025. And what you want to do, that's step six, but I don't really call it a step. That's like just you just get to it. Create your year, write it down, what are the things you want to accomplish, collage it. And when you collage it, feel into it, Dance it, turn on music that turns you on and be with it, sing it. What do you want to create? What do you want to build? Who are you in 2025? And then relish and just be in that feeling of what that year is going to look like for you, really. So that's what I want to leave you with.

Speaker 1:

This is a special time. This was a big year for many. We moved through many spaces globally. We've moved through many spaces as a country and we're moving through many spaces as individual human beings at a very what do you want to say? A very tumultuous time in history. Like wow, we are witnessing things that will be put into history books like no joke, okay. And who do you want to be this year? Who will you get to be? Because you say so, this life is happening for you. Create it, be it, live it, collage it, love it, sing it, praise it, because you matter, and I want to thank each and every one of you who has been on this journey with me this year.

Speaker 1:

This was the first year of my podcast and I'm looking forward to the things that I get to do with this podcast and expanding this next year. I'm enjoying what I do. I love being here and sharing, and I love those of you who have reached out to me, those of you who have shared wins. I know some people have reached out in various ways and I just want to say thank you and I hope that you enjoyed the last episode where I did the coaching call with Nina was really fun and cool. And, for those of you who are interested in possibly working with me or would like to consult and see if it's something you want to explore, remember there is a link below.

Speaker 1:

So I want to wish all of you a magical, amazing, mystical, exciting 2025. And thank you so much again for all the love and support. I'm excited to create what's next and I wish you all a Merry Christmas, happy Kwanzaa, happy Hanukkah oh my gosh, I don't even know what are all the other holidays Happy, happy holidays. I'm sure I'm missing something and wishing a merry, happy holiday to that, but I really want to just celebrate all of us and wishing you all the best love on your families, be with your friends.

Speaker 1:

However you choose to celebrate and bring in this new year, it's going to be a beautiful one, all right, I look forward to seeing you on the next show, I will have some more coaching sessions coming up, so keep a lookout for that. And we're going to talk about some more gratitude in the next, in the up and coming shows, and we're going to talk about, you know, once we create this new year, what then? What next? Once we create this new year, what then? What next? What are we going to do? So I look forward to seeing you guys on the next show. Have a blessed and beautiful day. Thanks and take care. Thank you for coming on this healing adventure today. If you're starting to see how everything is falling into place for you, consider rating the show and sharing it with one of your friends. Keep that spirit alive and join me next week. Same place, same time. Have a great week.