Intuitive Mentor Mom: Strategies for Life Empowerment, Self Love and Gratitude for Single Moms
Welcome to **"Intuitive Mentor Mom,"** the podcast that invites you to look at life through a new lens! Join me as we explore the idea that life is happening for us, not to us, transforming those frustrating “Why me?” moments into enlightening “Ah, so that’s why!” revelations. Through my personal journey, I’ll share insights on shifting perspectives and embracing growth as we navigate the beautiful tapestry of life together. Whether we're delving into relationships, tackling cosmic questions, or unraveling career and parenting challenges, each episode will inspire you to uncover fresh perspectives and recognize that every twist and turn is guiding you toward the best version of yourself. So, grab your favorite drink, get comfy, and let’s embark on this exciting self-discovery adventure! Tune in and let’s uncover the magic in life’s challenges together!
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Intuitive Mentor Mom: Strategies for Life Empowerment, Self Love and Gratitude for Single Moms
11: Embracing Accountability for Moms: Transforming Subconscious Beliefs for Personal Growth and Self-Discovery
Any moms out there felt like you're not truly seen or heard by those around you? Discover the transformative power of accountability and self-awareness as I share personal stories of overcoming subconscious beliefs that hold me back. Join me as we recount how releasing attachments to specific outcomes can unlock doors to our deepest desires, transforming life's challenges into opportunities for profound growth and learning.
Mom’s have you ever wondered why certain frustrating patterns persist in your relationships and career? Listen in as I uncover the possible hidden truths behind these recurring issues and the subconscious beliefs driving them. Through a journey of self-reflection, I explore the necessity of setting personal boundaries and holding ourselves accountable for choices that don't serve our highest good. With a focus on energy expansion versus contraction, we highlight how these states impact our emotional well-being and can lead to significant healing and awakenings.
How often as a mom, do you find yourself conforming to societal expectations at the expense of your true self? Embrace your unique brilliance as we share the liberating journey of rejecting traditional metrics and celebrating our "inner unicorn." This episode offers practical insights into aligning with your true potential, emphasizing the importance of self-care and personal growth amid the chaos of modern life. Before we wrap up, don't miss out on the opportunity for a complimentary discovery call to enrich our shared experiences and continue your journey of self-transformation.
Looking for guidance and support in an area of life where you feel stuck, stagnant or simply unclear of what to do next? Let's connect: book a complimentary Discovery Session with me, today!
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Welcome back to the intuitive mentor mom podcast where we explore strategies for growing confidence, empowerment and gaining clarity for midlife moms. When life is happening for you and not to you, you can be living the life of freedom, fun and bliss. I'm your host, tara Michelle. Let's get to it. Welcome back to the Intuitive Mentor Mom podcast where we explore how life is happening for us and how to navigate all the various aspects of your life, and I really just share a lot about my own personal experience and hope that it's going to make a difference for somebody and maybe you'll hear some things for yourself that resonate and you could take a look at how you navigate your life. But we've been talking about our lives as this illusion and being the architects of our lives and how we master that and really how we explore that. And in the last episode, episode nine, where I was talking about mastering your reality right, mastering your reality being the architect, how mindset is powerful, your mindset and how you perceive things, how self-care can be important. But really what I wanted to get into this week was how we are going to hold ourselves accountable. You know, initially, two of the most important things that I said when you're looking at being a conscious creator of your life and reconstructing the architecture of your illusion. Right, reconstructing the architecture of your illusion? Right, reconstructing the architecture of your illusion. It's like a matrix, really. For those of you who believe in the matrix, it's like a matrix. We look at releasing our attachment to the outcome. We also look at what is it that we have to give up, what is it we have to give up to really allow ourselves to be open to embracing and receiving that which we desire, facing and receiving that which we desire. So what's really awesome is I've done a lot of self-development work over the years and one of the things I've learned is when you are setting out to recreate something for yourself, or whether you're on the verge of a huge breakthrough, typically the very thing you say I'm going to create X within days, hours, weeks, however long it takes for your situation to show up the exact opposite will show up. The exact opposite thing will show up, almost like the universe is saying oh really, you want to create that, let's see how that's going to go for you. We're going to test you a little bit. How bad do you want it? That's how I've always seen it. Okay, and again, that goes back to the space of how life's happening for us. I see it as happening for me, not to me. It's an opportunity for me to look at what are these situations or these scenarios that are showing up in my life and what are they here to teach me? The people that are showing up in my life, what are they here to teach me? What are the things that I can do to shift, grow and expand myself?
Speaker 1:I recently did a post on Instagram. We're only ever expanding or contracting. So when you look at yourself as like this energetic being, you're only ever expanding or contracting. So when you look at yourself as like this energetic being, you're only ever expanding into your world or contracting into your world. Another way to look at that is you are living in the fullest self-expression of you or you're contracting in the space of fear, overwhelm, worry, that kind of stuff, right. So you're only ever expanding your energy or contracting your energy, and it's inside of exploring those two spaces and the depth of emotions that reside in those spaces. When you have that awareness of those spaces, that's where the healing occurs and that's where the awakenings can happen. So I'm excited about today's topic because we're going to look at holding ourselves accountable, and I'm going to use as I've shared, I'm going to use my life as the example because after posting that video or that podcast last week, I had all kinds of stuff show up.
Speaker 1:I had a really rough week. I had an emotional weekend and I had an emotional week and it really was designed, what I feel, to push me up against something that I had an aha moment about this weekend. So in my last episode, episode nine, towards the end, I had mentioned how you know I want to, I would love to look at, I would love and I will eventually share a lot of stuff around romantic relationship, but I'd had something show up that day that I had recorded that podcast. It was really beautiful and it was a huge breakthrough in this relationship that I have with somebody. We're not in a romantic relationship at all, but we have emotions and we have feelings there and there's been a lot of back and forth over the last year that we've known each other and really, if anything, this person has just showed up in my life to really help me grow into the woman that I'm becoming and to really help me have to look at areas and aspects of myself that I have not wanted to explore, either out of the fear of what the emotion inside me feels like or the fear of having to figure out. Oh my God, I don't know that. I like that about myself. So this person and I had a beautiful conversation the day that I had recorded the last episode, and I got really excited, really excited, like, oh my God, okay, okay, this is good.
Speaker 1:Only to have, the very next day, the continued pattern of a result show up yet again, and in that pattern, there is the experience of rejection, there's the experience of being pushed away, there's the experience of obstacles, there's the experience of absolute frustration, there's the experience of what's the word? So expectation leads to upset, so complete and total upset. And in the moment I was going to quote unquote be great about the result of a conversation, I was just going to be great about it and hold space and just keep doing this dance that we've been doing for a year. And then I just told myself, girl, what are you doing? No, no more, no more, no more, no, no more, no more, no more. And what I was saying no more to was no more.
Speaker 1:Was I going to allow myself to not look in an area within my body and in my heart that I was terrified of looking at. I was terrified of feeling this feeling, whatever this dance that he and I have been doing, where it creates this form of rejection in my thought process or my I don't want to, I'm not going to try and sugarcoat it with, like justifying it with all these tools that I have I would literally feel rejected, I would feel rejected, I would feel I have, I would literally feel rejected. I would feel rejected, I would feel let down, I would feel pushed away and I would feel heartbroken yet again. What I'd been afraid of doing was allowing myself to really feel what that was like, what that really feels like. Because if I had to go dive down into that space within me, whatever that compartment in my soul or in my heart, where it sits in the root chakra, it sits in the solar plexus and it sits in the heart, like it's in all three of those areas, and then it's tied to the mental construct of something else I'm going to get to on this show I had to force myself to be accountable that this had nothing to do with him per se. He's showing up as the catalyst to push me into having to look at an area of myself that I didn't want to look at and I kept justifying it and justifying his actions and his behaviors, so that I wouldn't have to look at this space within me.
Speaker 1:And there I was, getting ready to do this workout, got the response that I wasn't looking for, I was not hoping for, got the outcome that I was really I'm sorry got the opposite of the outcome that I was attached to. Okay, which goes back to the last episode. I was very attached to an outcome and that outcome didn't occur at all. If anything, it was like a giant backfire I don't want to say a backfire, it just didn't because there was nothing to backfire. It just didn't turn out the way nothing to backfire. It just didn't turn out the way I had hoped it was going to turn out and, as a result, it forced me to tell myself. I had to tell one on myself.
Speaker 1:Tara, michelle, you have to stop allowing yourself to ignore this feeling, to cover this feeling up, to cover up the pain, to cover up the anger and to cover up the frustration. You have to stop making excuses for that person and you have to start looking at what was really going on in your body and what was really going on in my body was that I had fallen in love with this person. I love this person and I was unwilling and afraid to truly express how I felt out of fear of losing them. Now here's the thing I never had them to begin with. Still don't have him, even if we were together. I don't have him. There's nothing to have. I don't own him.
Speaker 1:But there was this aspect of me, so terrified to put up a boundary and say no more to a behavior that I kept letting slide, because then I wouldn't have to look at the pain that was in my heart, like I could make up an excuse and kind of drag it out like cover it up, I'm going to cover that up. I'm going to cover that up and I'm going to keep justifying why this is happening and I'm going to let him off the hook. I'm going to let me off the hook and I'm going to cover that up and I'm going to keep justifying why this is happening and and I'm going to I'm going to let him off the hook. I'm going to let me off the hook and I'm going to let everybody off the hook and everything's going to be fine. I'm just going to keep dragging this out.
Speaker 1:I'd hit my limit. I can no longer let him off the hook in a behavior that I kept seeing. And I could no longer let myself off the hook in a behavior that I kept seeing. And I could no longer let myself off the hook in a behavior that I was seeing and I picked up the phone and I left him a message. Because he didn't answer the phone, I left him a message and then that kind of spiraled into a conversation, that where the shell cracked open. I gushed out my emotions and my feelings and told him the truth that I'd been holding back.
Speaker 1:Now here's the thing. I think he already knew that I mean, it's so apparent when we're near each other, when we're around each other, like the emotions and the feelings that are there. I think we both are very aware of that. But the timing is off. It's not. We're not in the same place, period.
Speaker 1:But I had to stop, what's the word? I had to hold myself accountable to choices I was making that weren't in the highest good for myself. I'll just totally remove him from the rest of this. This is about me having to hold myself accountable and we're going to talk about that today, because that conversation and that nut cracking then cracked open to another nut that then spiraled into the area of my career where I had to hold myself accountable yet again and face another conversation, or aha, or epiphany, that occurred this weekend and that aha was the conversation of a subconscious phrase that runs in the background of my mind, which is why can't they see me? And really how it goes is why can't they effing see me Like, why can't they hear me, why can't they see me? Super frustrated inside of that conversation running in the background to where literally everything in the area of my career over several years has shown up and really designed to have me recognize that, and it has taken years for me to recognize that.
Speaker 1:That is the conversation running in my subconscious. Why can't they see me? That same conversation runs in the area of romantic relationships. Why can't they see me? Why don't they choose me? Why do they overlook me? Why is it never me to be chosen? Why is it never me to be chosen?
Speaker 1:What did I do? How is it? They missed me again. They missed me again. They still can't see me, they still can't hear me. How come they can't hear me or see me.
Speaker 1:Look at me, look at me, look at me. I'm doing all the things, can't you see me? Look at all the things I'm doing. Am I doing it right? Does any of this sound familiar to anybody out there? Or am I just the only one that feels this way about myself? Oops, oops, sorry, record scratch For real. That's what showed up for me this week, like, oh my gosh. And all of this showed up because, hey, what are we talking about on this podcast? This very thing. And who gets to go through all of the, the healing adventures I do? Because what's my show about? Life's healing adventures through, you know, the mindset or the, or the perspective of an intuitive mom, you know, and, and. So here I am, constantly putting my ass on the line, looking at how my life is showing up for me, such that I can have the breakthroughs and the uh, you know the, the, yeah, just the breakthrough, so that I could expand into my biggest, broadest self as a human being and truly step into my truth and truly step into what's possible on this journey that I'm living. And I invite everybody who's listening to this episode to really look at your life from that perspective. This is your life Remember, we talked about it being your illusion and let's take the negative context out of illusion and let's recreate it to something empowering, as you are the architect of your life.
Speaker 1:So what do you have to give up and what do you have to hold yourself accountable in order to reconstruct the architecture of the illusion that you're standing inside of? Because we could say, okay, if an area of your life is not working, then that's the illusion, right, that's the false illusion. You're like, hey, this an area of your life is not working, then that's the illusion, right, that's the false illusion. You're like, hey, this is not the outcome I was desiring, this is not the world I want to live in, this is not how I want to show up in my life for myself, or my friends, or my family, my kids, or my husband, my wife. This is not who I want to be. Then you get to recreate that, and I said in the last episode that we were going to talk about how you hold yourself accountable. How I hold myself accountable is I begin to ask myself questions and I kind of just ask them like throughout the day, like, why is this happening for me? And then I'll forget about it and I'll just God, why is this showing up the way it is? Why does this keep? Why does this keep looking the way it does? I'll throw those questions out here and there, just asking myself, because I know at some point the answer is going to show up.
Speaker 1:So there I was standing in the shower, doing my shower routine, washing the hair, you know, shaving your legs, doing the things, and all of a sudden and I think I was listening to was I listening to a book? No, I was just listening to. I think I was listening to Trevor Hall. He's one of my favorites that I like to listen to. His words or his lyrics are always so transformative and I don't know what song was playing. But I was listening and doing my shower routine and actually getting ready to go to a conference, because I had a conference I had to attend for work on a Saturday morning and all of a sudden I heard why can't they see me? They can't see me, they can't see me, they can't can see me. And then I heard because you haven't seen you. I sat with that because I haven't seen me. What does that mean? I haven't seen me. And it was this overwhelming sense of awareness of world, okay, the doingness of life. Tell me if you can relate to this.
Speaker 1:You get up. You might look at your phone when you get up, or you got the kids screaming or the dogs or the cat. Everybody's ready, everybody's waiting for you to get up and they're wanting you to get up and they're wanting you to get up. And you got to get up and you got to feed the animals and the lunches and the meetings and, oh my God, I got to get a shower. And oh my God, I got to work out. I got to do all these things I have a million things going right. I got to take my supplements, I got to do my exercises, got to go for a walk. Oh my God, I didn't go for a walk. Oh my God, I forgot to make that call yesterday. Shit, I gotta call that person. Oh my God. And I still don't want to go out this weekend. What are we doing this weekend, oh my God?
Speaker 1:And there's picture days coming up, like that's really right, your brain is on overdrive. And then you just keep going Get your coffee, get dressed, get in the shower, make the lunches. You keep going, you keep going, you keep going, right, and you do this day in and day out, and day in and day out, and every now and then you're like I'm going to take that time off for myself, I'm going to rest today. No, rest doesn't come because something else, somebody else, calls something. You know, there's a fire drill at work. There's a fire drill with your kids, like whatever it is right. You just keep going, keep going, keep going. And you keep going because you're an awesome doing machine, because, hey, man, we have been trained to be the most amazing doing machines. And next thing, you know, six months just went by and you didn't do any of the things you said you wanted to do. And you're still on that doing machine. Three weeks goes by, three days goes by. You forgot to call that person back. All those things right, getting caught up in the day. And sometimes you just lay down and you're like, oh, I just can rest and relax, okay, just a minute, just one minute. The next thing, you know, you fall asleep. Okay, so these are the things right.
Speaker 1:And you often don't have time, maybe, to stop and ask yourself why is my life showing up the way it is? And I am not liking the way it is right now. Well, I try to do that and I also give myself space and time. In the morning I do, and at night I will. I will stop and give myself a break, even during the day. Sometimes I will stop and give myself 10 minutes, sometimes it's an hour. I will give myself that space to reconnect and recollect within myself. But it's taken years for me to learn how to do that and say no to that outside world that's so damn demanding. That would literally take me until I dried up like a prune, right, if I allowed it to, it would just take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take. So I often have to stop and fill my tank.
Speaker 1:So this weekend that occurred. I heard this voice. You know why can't they see me? And that voice I hear all the time. I hear it but I'd never really heard it and I never really paid attention to it. I could hear it because it would just be this dull frustration that over time would build up and all of a sudden my life would continue to have these events and these circumstances where I'd be so frustrated that they can't hear me or see me. It hadn't dawned on me yet. That blind spot had not been brought forward to me yet showing me, it's because you don't see you yet. So what area of your life you know?
Speaker 1:When we're talking about this conversation, what did you choose to look at? And if you were really to get wildly accountable and truthful for yourself, what is the sentence or the conversation that's running in your subconscious? Take a look at your life. You might even have to pause the show to really breathe in and be like okay, what are the patterns I keep seeing? What's the persistent complaint in my life? What is that persistent complaint? I have a persistent complaint in the area of my career and I have a persistent complaint in the area of romance, and what I learned this weekend is they're the same exact complaint. They don't see me, and that's because I had not been seeing myself. Light bulb moment. I haven't been seeing who I really am, and I want to share this, not from the perspective of I got it all handled, I got my shit together.
Speaker 1:I'm a badass. No, I mean, I am a badass just because, like all of you women out there, all you single mamas, all you mamas we're just badasses. Because we're badasses because we get up every day and we do what we got to do to raise these incredible humans that we have. Sorry, that's a badass, that takes a badass to do that. So, however you do it, however it shows up for you and sometimes it's really messy. Some people are just have like the super smooth, easy life. Some of us have super messy lives. Some of us have, you know, in the middle of that, you know it's like however it shows up for you, but when you're doing the do as being a mom, you're a badass, okay. So I want to share this from a very humbling place. It's actually going to move me. This is a very humbling place.
Speaker 1:I began to see myself as powerful in a way I'd never seen myself before, and lately I've been having out of body experiences. You know, I rebranded this show to intuitive mentor mom because I have a lot of gifts intuitively, psychically, I have a lot of gifts and I love sharing those gifts with others who need support and need help, who have blocks. Okay, lately what has been happening in my life is I'll be on the phone talking to somebody and I literally have this experience of an expanded energy that comes outside of me and is literally looking at me through the third lens. And when I see myself through that third lens. I look around at the home I've provided for my son, the home that I was able to give us. I look around at the hellacious mountain of things that we have, that I cannot wait to dive in and start giving some stuff to the goodwill, because somehow we've accumulated a lot of stuff. And I look at the land we live on. I look at the neighbors we have. I look at the career that I've held.
Speaker 1:I don't have a bachelor's degree. I have a half of a bachelor's degree, but I don't have a full one. I didn't study science or biology in that level and here I am working in the area of genetics in the medical industry. I've somehow become really good at what I do. I've been in sales for over 30 years. My selling style is very unconventional. I have a lot of sales training under my belt from various companies through the companies I've worked for. I have a bachelor's degree and a PhD in life sales training under my belt from various companies through the companies I've worked for.
Speaker 1:I have a bachelor's degree and a PhD in life and I am somebody who has, you know, learning disabilities, dyslexia, and I just recently learned that I have dysgraphia whether that's something you can outgrow, I don't know, but over the years I just figured out how to manage and live with the way my brain operates. In no way, shape or form, am I perfect. I've only been married for a year. We were together six years, but only a year. I've never had a relationship longer than that. Six years, but only a year. I've never had a relationship longer than that. But I managed to have a really successful life, a life that, on paper, looks like a life that a lot of people probably want or would like to have. Those that don't have it. There's plenty of people that have way more life than I do, but that's not what it's about, right. It's not about us comparing what kind of lives we have. It's about us really getting who we are for ourselves.
Speaker 1:And have you ever just sat back and really gotten who you are? Have you ever sat back and really wrote down all your accomplishments? Have you ever stopped beating yourself up or having yourself feel guilty about the things you didn't do and really get present to the things that you did do? Guilty about the things you didn't do, and really get present to the things that you did do? How about the things you did when it was really hard, but you did it anyway. How about the things that you did, that? You went above and beyond and you had no idea how you were going to do it, but you figured it out and you went and found all the resources. You reached out to resources and support. Sometimes you didn't reach out for any support because you were afraid to reach out, and you went and found all the resources. You reached out to resources and support. Sometimes you didn't reach out for any support because you were afraid to reach out and you just did it on your own.
Speaker 1:Have you really honored and acknowledged yourself for those moments in your life that literally occur every day and you're not even aware of it? You're not even aware of how much you really do for yourself and your family. Have you sat back and really acknowledged who you are? Because that's what started happening to me in the last few weeks and I realized that people can't see me because I haven't seen me, and when I don't see me, I'm not speaking really from a place. That is the total rawness of my truth, because what I also got to see is I've been trying to and we'll go back to the area of career, trying to conform myself into what I think they want me to be, hoping, they never find out. I don't have my bachelor's degree yet. And one friend today God love her. She's like why don't you just lie about it? And I was like well, unfortunately, because I have it that my bachelor's is in the way of me growing in the area of my career. Okay, unfortunately they do background checks so they'd find out that it isn't finished. It started but it's not finished.
Speaker 1:But what I really got to see for myself and even that was how frustrated and angry I was why is it that that freaking piece of paper gets to say whether I get promoted or not? Why is it that that piece of paper gets to say whether these people choose to talk to me or not? Why can't they just listen to what I say, hear me. Why can't they see the light? Listen to what I say, hear me. Why can't they see the light? Why can't they recognize the brightness and the passion and the hunger and the excitement? Why on earth are they going to look at me and say we really like you, but you don't have the context. We really like you, but you don't have the degree. We really like you.
Speaker 1:But and that stuff would make me livid and you know what I would do. I would just say, okay, it's because I don't have the degree. So what do I got to do so that I can keep looking at whatever way? What do I have to do to fit in this mold? That's really what would be running in the background. What do I have to do to fit in this mold so that way they'll see me. They'll see me if I keep fitting in the mold. I got to fit in the mold. Okay, let me look at other resumes. What do I have to say? Okay, I need to get this way. Okay, I need to show this thing. Okay, I need to. You know that's, I would be doing that. Okay, I'm going to go talk to this. You know, senior leader. Okay, what are all the things that I know he or she is going to want to see it in this way? And I have to come prepared in this way because this is what you're supposed to do and here's the things that you do.
Speaker 1:So Saturday morning, there, I was driving to this conference, talking to a dear friend as I was bawling my eyes out and I was raging. I was raging at how angry I was holding all this back, trying to conform into a box that I am not. So what I've had to hold myself accountable for is that I've been hiding in a box, that I'm not so afraid to step up and say which I actually had an interview this week and I actually did step up for myself, and that's really the point of me sharing all this. I had to stand up for myself. That was me being accountable for Tara. As a stand up for myself, I had to say no more are you going to push me around, no more are you going to tell me that I'm something that I am not, and no more are you going to tell me that I'm not good at what I do, Because I am really good at what I do, and it may not look conventional, it may not look the way you think it needs to look, but hey, I produce the results you asked me to produce. I get them there, I do it and I surpass them, and that's what I had to recognize about myself.
Speaker 1:I had to get so pissed off and I was pushed up against it. I was pushed up against it with my manager this week. I was pushed up against it with the role that I currently have. I was pushed up against it in a in a tango and a dance with somebody I love and I wasn't telling the truth to him or to me, and I hadn't been telling the truth in the area of my career and I hadn't been telling the truth to myself, and that is. I will no longer be bullied. I will no longer be told we love you but you don't have the contacts.
Speaker 1:Well, guess what? That person that you're going to hire that has the contacts. Do they have this passion? Do they have this excitement? Do they have this drive? Do they have an unwillingness to get up and do whatever it takes on whatever given day, even when they don't feel like it? Because who I am is somebody who has to make shit happen so that I can feed my family, because I'm it, I'm the only one. Do they have that kind of passion or drive? And do those contacts that they want or that they have, do those contacts really want to see them? Do those contacts like them? I'm curious.
Speaker 1:So, are you going to hire them because they have the contacts, or are you going to hire them because you see their light? Are you going to hire them because you see their brilliance. And when I say brilliance, like you see that diamond in the rough shining, because you see their passion. You're not sure what it is, but they keep making you laugh. And you're not sure what it is, but hey, it's outside of that norm and you're so used to that norm, you're so used to it happening. Oh, it's got to look this way. You need this degree. You know good, you went to that school and oh, you know all these people and you worked at those companies. Yeah, let's keep it inside that box. How's that box working for you? And what about the people that don't necessarily fit the mold? You might be missing the unicorn.
Speaker 1:So all of you listening out there, are you a unicorn? I would imagine that you are. You're listening to this show of mine and I'm now seeing I'm a unicorn like for real. I'm a unicorn and I'm going to own my unicorn-ness because that's me being accountable. So if you're listening to this show right now, I guarantee you you're a unicorn. But do you really get at the level at which you're a unicorn? Can you see the colors in your horn? Do you see the glimmer? Do you see the shine? Do you see the sparkle? Do you feel your legs kicking back and kicking up? Are you bucking around because you've got the spirit and the energy within you and you just want to explode and have an amazing life? If you are not feeling that, then you got to look at what are you not holding yourself accountable for? What is the sentence or the persistent complaint that is running in the background of your day? It's running every day and you can see it in the results that are sitting in front of you in your life.
Speaker 1:And the results that I kept seeing was I'm not it. They can't hear me, they can't see me, they keep passing me up for either somebody else, or then I would see them pass me up for somebody else, only to have that person in whatever role for a very short time, and it wasn't that good, it wasn't what they were looking for. Or that person would leave, and there they would be back at square one. Would leave and there they would be back at square one, and there I would be thinking had you just given me an opportunity, maybe it would have looked different. But you know who hadn't been giving me the opportunity? Me, because that has nothing to do with them.
Speaker 1:I had not been choosing myself, because I keep trying to fit myself into what I think they want me to be and that is this collegiate, pedigree individual which I do not want to downplay that and I don't mean to say it in that way and I probably shouldn't say it in that way, because those of you who have all the schooling and all the degrees and the letters, it took something for you to accomplish that. It really did, and it wasn't easy. I guarantee it probably was not easy, right, but hey, the life I have hasn't been easy either and it took something for me to accomplish everything I have. It's a different kind of degree, but it really is the same. It really is the same, it's just different. Just looks a little different on paper Doesn't mean I didn't put the hours in.
Speaker 1:Doesn't mean I didn't stay up long nights. Doesn't mean I didn't go kicking and screaming sometimes and it doesn't mean I didn't fail a lot of the time only to have to get right back up and fight for the A. You know, fight for the A, fight for the grade. But I have found over the years I stopped really fighting for myself. I was really happy to fight for others, always ready to fight for others and justice, but I hadn't really been fighting for myself, so I might've got a little off topic today. I'm pretty passionate about this right now, but it really is about looking at where are you going to hold yourself accountable. It really is about looking at where are you going to hold yourself accountable.
Speaker 1:And once you recognize what that sentence is, that persistent complaint that's happening in your world and you own it. You can't blame others for it being there. You have to really own it. You have to look at how. Was I the contribution to this happening to my world? Contribution to this happening to my world? Who have I been being that has allowed this complaint of mine to persist?
Speaker 1:And who was I unwilling to show up for? Was I unwilling to show up for myself? Was I unwilling to show up for myself? Was I unwilling to show up for others? Was I unwilling to call myself out and call one on myself? I called one on myself.
Speaker 1:I said to myself Tara, michelle, you are not. You are going to take your dignity back and you're going to stop allowing this person to behave this way with you, because what you have to offer person and you is golden, and every time you allow that person to have the response he's having, you are not respecting yourself. You're respecting yourself at the lowest level. So what are you going to do about it, girlfriend? You're going to fucking pick up your big girl panties and you're going to make a phone call and you're going to say what you need to say and you're going to say it and you're going to put up a boundary and you're going to say I'm not going to tolerate that anymore. This is not how people treat each other when they care about one another. And you're going to do the same thing at work.
Speaker 1:This is not how you treat your employees that work very hard for you every day, and some days it's tough and they're out there on the front lines getting rejected or you know, whatever it is, whatever you those of you on the front line in the sales world, whatever it is, you know how hard it can be sometimes and then to not have the experience that your time is valuable, that your energy, your skills are valuable, and to have them be, have somebody speak to you in a condescending way, even so much as to belittle you and to judge you, to make fun of you. Don't ever let a tough world out there and in the industry I work in it is competitive as nobody's business and it is cutthroat. And I'll be damned today if I ever let any manager disempower me in a way that is not going to uplift me to want to really fight for what we're all fighting for. We're on the same team here. So again, I digress.
Speaker 1:It's about passion, it's about holding yourself accountable. Okay, and to get back to it, I want to remind you you have to release yourself from the outcome. If you release the attachment to the way things should show up, if you are out to reconstruct your dream life, to reconstruct the architecture, you have to get wildly accountable. Okay, at what is the persistent complaint? What is the thing that keeps showing up in your world? What is it that you don't like about it? And then you have to be accountable for that. You're responsible for that. And, hey, you may want to get upset and say, well, but it's so-and-so's fault and it's so. My family and my parents and my kids and the job, whatever. Yeah, I get that, I get that. I get that. But it starts with you. And when you get wildly straight with yourself and who you're not being for yourself, that's when you get to redirect and re-steer the ship right. You get to turn that ship around. And so that's what. I'm in the midst of turning that ship around. And I promise you and guarantee you I hope it's not too messy. It might get a little messy, but I will tell you this it's uncomfortable. And there I was.
Speaker 1:I reached out to somebody another dear friend this weekend, to talk a little bit more about this, because he has a lot of experience in staffing and I wanted his perspective and his opinion. And he said because I was like you know, this is so unknown to me. And he said it's not unknown to you. He's like there's nothing unknown about it. It's just uncomfortable between now and the outcome. And this is the path you have to walk down. You have to be uncomfortable as you walk this through. And he was right there's nothing unknown about it. What's unknown about it is not knowing how it's going to turn out. But no matter what, you know it's going to turn out good. You just don't know what that's going to look like.
Speaker 1:And that's the uncomfortable piece, because we like to control our outcome, we like to control our world, we like to control everything. So then we don't have to feel the feels. So if I could control, you know how somebody's going to show up. So I don't have to feel rejection or abandonment in my heart or in my body. So I don't have to look at what that means. So I don't have to look at, oh my God, what's in that empty space within me. I'm so terrified to look at it, oh my God, because then I have to feel how much it hurts. Well, guess what? I'm the one who abandoned me. I abandoned myself. When I don't allow myself to look at those things deeply, there's nobody abandoning me, but it's me, and that's not to discount or disregard.
Speaker 1:If you really have been abandoned by a parent or something like I know that happens, but are you going to be victimized by it? Are you going to overcome it and, like, become the hero within your own story? Remind you that life's happening for you, it's not to you. So that was a lot. I'm going to wrap this up. That was a lot. I just, you know, really want to have everybody. This is where the rubber meets the road. Want to have everybody. This is where the rubber meets the road If you want to reconstruct your illusion and create it to the life that you really desire.
Speaker 1:You have to look at your blueprint and you have to ask yourself where was I misaligned? What piece did I miss? You know what? What's the complaint that I have? Is it that I'm not enough? Is it that you know they don't see me? Is it that they don't care about me? I'm not lovable, I don't know. Like it's different for everybody. I have layers of this stuff. One of the layers, years ago, was I'm not enough, I'm not lovable, I'm never chosen. That was another one that recently came I've never chosen. And what's underneath I've never I'm never chosen is they can't see me.
Speaker 1:And how that shows up is me trying to conform and contort into what I think they want me to be, instead of just putting my foot down and saying hey yo, this is who Tara is, this is me, this is me and all my glory and all my stuff, this is me and this is what I want. Here's my clear communication. And we're either aligned or we're not. Period. That goes for relationships, that goes for career, that goes for everything. And now I get to step inside of my career and really say okay, tara, now that you've discovered this about yourself, what are the steps you're going to put into action, to now root yourself into you. See you, what does me? What does it look like for me to see me? What does that look like? What are the actions? Who would I be being now that I see myself? And that's the video we'll get into, not the video that's the episode we'll get into next.
Speaker 1:Once you discover that piece to be accountable, then how do you put those things into action? How do you redirect who you really are? How do you clean up any messes that might show up as a result of you recognizing where you weren't being accountable to yourself? What are the areas of cleanup that you have to do to then realign that ship to sail off into the desired dream that you have? That's what's next. So thank you so much for just joining me on that conversation.
Speaker 1:You know I am with everybody that is listening to this show. I am on the journey with you. That is what this show is about. Intuitive mentor, mom. That's who I am. I'm an intuit and I'm a mom, and I'm happy to support those of you who are walking through tough times in life or areas of life that just are uncomfortable and not showing up the way you want them, and I'm here to share aspects of my life and how I walk through it, and God knows it's not easy. But hey, this is what we're here to do, right? It's a journey, it's a life adventure, it's healings, it's healing adventures. That's what it is. It's like let's you know's put our boots on and let's get to playing.
Speaker 1:Anyways, until the next show, I look forward to chatting with you all. Then, and as a reminder for all of those listening, I invite you to take advantage of the 30-minute discovery call that we can have. It's complimentary, and all I'm asking in return is that you share with me your experience and that way, I can share with others, and I look forward to seeing you all in a couple of weeks. Thanks again, and have an amazing and blessed week. Take care. Thank you for coming on this healing adventure today. If you're starting to see how everything is falling into place for you, consider rating the show and sharing it with one of your friends. Keep that spirit alive and join me next week. Same place, same time. Have a great week.