Intuitive Mentor Mom: Strategies for Life Empowerment, Self Love and Gratitude for Single Moms

9: Mastering Your Reality | Mom Life: The Power of Mindset, Self-Care, and Embracing Life’s Illusions

September 01, 2024 • Tara Mychelle • Episode 9

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What if everything you believe about life is just an illusion? In this episode of the Intuitive Mentor Mom podcast, I dive deep into this provocative idea, revealing how our thoughts and feelings are the true architects of our reality. Drawing from my personal journey with real estate investment, I share how shifting my mindset has dramatically upgraded various areas of my life. We explore the power of accountability, self-care, and the commitment necessary to transform our everyday existence into a tapestry of joy, peace, and happiness.

Single moms, especially, will find invaluable insights as we discuss the often-overlooked importance of self-care. By embracing your own personal selfceare practices, we maintain the energy needed to nurture our families and ourselves. Learn how to let go of specific outcomes, trust the process, and welcome unexpected opportunities with an open mind. Through practical examples, including real estate investments, we illustrate how being receptive and diligent can lead to a fulfilling life. Join us to discover how you can balance personal aspirations with daily responsibilities, becoming the master of your own reality.

Looking for guidance and support in an area of life where you feel stuck, stagnant or simply unclear of what to do next? Let's connect: book a complimentary Discovery Session with me, today!
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Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the intuitive mentor mom podcast, where we explore strategies for growing confidence, empowerment and gaining clarity for midlife moms. When life is happening for you and not to you, you can be living the life of freedom, fun and bliss. I'm your host, tara Michelle. Let's get to it All right. Welcome back to the show. I'm so excited to be here with all of you today. Thank you for joining.

Speaker 1:

The last episode, we were diving into my quandary around your life is an illusion and really exploring what that means and playing with it and creating, and I want to talk about my why and why I go into this and why I think it's so fun and fascinating. But, more importantly, those of you who've been following are very familiar with my life is happening for you. It's not happening to you. It's actually happening for you every second, every day. Those of you that are new to the show, that is really the context in which I live my life from. Is that, this life that I experienced or this illusion that is all around me, this world that I have created, is happening for me, not to me? Now, when I talk about, life is an illusion and life is happening for you, and life is what you make it. It's what you create it. It's what you create in your mind. That's how powerful I talked about this in the last episode. That's how powerful we are, you yourself, you yourself, sitting wherever you are, in your car, on your walk, in a chair, wherever you are sitting. I want you to get that who you are is the most powerful individual in your world, and I also want you to get present to everything that you see happening around you in this very moment is a direct reflection of the thoughts that you've been having and the feelings that are expressed with those thoughts. Okay, that are expressed with those thoughts, okay. So if your thoughts are coming from a place of fear and you're feeling fear while you're thinking those thoughts, then you're going to manifest fear around you and fear will show up as an illusion around you, false events appearing real. If you are feeling joy with these thoughts that you may be having, you might be having thoughts of, I don't know family or children or relationships. You know romance or whatever it is, or you got a new job, or you're going to get a new car. You're you're, you're loving your backyard and sitting in it. Whatever it is. You feel joy, you feel peace. In this moment You're going to be manifesting in that state of joy and peace, whatever those thoughts you're having. You're basically putting momentum behind those thoughts and those thoughts are going to continue to eventually transpire in your outside world.

Speaker 1:

Now that's like a whole nother conversation that we could get into at some point, not one that I want to dive into just right this moment, because I think it would take more time, because there's a lot of science behind that. And a really phenomenal book to read is the biology of belief I believe is the name of it by Bruce Lipton. His work is so special and so cool and so dynamic and so amazing. So I encourage you, if you'd like, to dive into that whole realm. That's a great book to listen to or to read. But let's get back to this.

Speaker 1:

Life is an Illusion, because I really want to dive into the why today and I want to give you a couple steps to play with, because we talked about that in the last episode, like, hey, let's choose an area of your life, let's choose an area of your life where maybe the outcome of that area is not quite where you want it and it's not quite what you'd like to see. And as I take a step back from that, I'm going to go back to when I was talking about. You know my why? Why is this important? Why is it important to be the architect of your world, to be the architect of your life, to be the architect of your life? I believe that when you pull back that power within you, you become accountable for every single thing you have going on in your life. You become accountable for the relationships. You become accountable for the relationships outcomes. You become accountable for that what you're doing, the actions you're taking or the actions you're not taking. If bills are not paid, there's only one person, maybe there's two people, maybe there's more than two people, but if your bills are not paid, you are accountable. If there are things that you're not taking care of for yourself, like you know, self-care who's accountable? You're accountable. It isn't that which is outside of you, it's not that which is outside of you. I'm going to say that again. It's not that which is outside of you. It's not the children, it's not the friends, it's not the job, it's not the pets, it's not the family members. If your self-care, if that bucket is empty or low or not fulfilling you, the only person responsible for that is you. So why?

Speaker 1:

I believe it's really important when we start looking at our life as this illusion and we become the architect, that which can be created, we can create I shouldn't say that which can be created, but that which creates it. We get to create this outcome in what life is going to look like for us, and it is a form of manifestation, but it's also a commitment to yourself and it falls in line with life is happening for you. So one of the things I said in the last episode was I'm going to take on this area of my life called um, called uh, what do you call it? Real estate, so a couple areas of my life that I would love to have, um, different, a different what would you call it? A different outcome. I'd like to upgrade it, as we talked about in the last episode, want to upgrade those things. So investment real estate had been something that was really important to me and is still very much important to me, and I actually purchased the property that I live on in hopes that I would start generating income on this property at some point. So, before I go into that, because there was something that occurred this week that was super cool and in that moment I was like see girl, it's working. Like this work you do is working, it's working.

Speaker 1:

But first I want to go back to why. You got to know why you want your world to look different. You got to get to the root of your why. What is your why? If you say that you wanted more self-care in your life, what is it that the self-care would give you? What would it provide you? Now I want you to imagine, in a perfect world, what does that look like for you? I'll just use an example. In my life, when I'm doing self-care, what it looks like for me is working out is really important to me. I've hired a trainer. As many of you know, I've done episodes with her on this show. Um, food is really important to my self-care. Uh, sleep is really important to my self-care. Massages are really important to my self-care.

Speaker 1:

Facials, getting my nails done it's like a big deal. I never used to get my nails done. I've only been doing my nails in the last couple of years and I've really grown to enjoy it. It's like something I really enjoy and I used to be one to just like, oh, I don't need fancy nails and I don't need all that, but I one day I just decided like I like it, I think I like it, I like I like that for me, I'm going to do that for me and I built that into my world. I built in having my nails done regularly, getting pedicures done regular as of this last year. I built in massages it's imperative that I get a massage no matter what, and I've scheduled it out so many weeks in between that I could budget that into my world and I figured it out. I figured out how am I going to budget that, because what that gives me and I know I'm I hopefully am speaking to a lot of you single moms out there and moms.

Speaker 1:

Self-care really is at the core of who we get to be for our children. If your self-care bucket is depleted, you do not get to be for your children who you really want to be for your children Only when you are feeling your best, or even if you can't feel your best in that moment, but you can feel some sense of okay, like I filled my cup on some level. Then you have the energy to give back right as a single mom. As a mom, we are constantly juggling millions of plates or balls, or juggling a lot of balls, spinning a lot of plates. We're juggling balls and spinning plates at the same time because that's how we roll, that's just how good we are, okay. So when you're doing that, where does that energy come from? It comes from a place of the self-care that you give yourself, the rituals that you take on feeding and filling that cup, because without that cup being full you got nothing. Am I right? Am I speaking to any of you Like we got nothing when that plate or that cup is not full? So this is where my why comes from.

Speaker 1:

When I'm looking at this illusion that I say I want to have and I want to take away the definition, I think a lot of times people will hear the sense illusion. You know what I'm going to do. I'm going to look up the definition of illusion, illusion. Let's just look up the definition. All right, it's a noun, we do that. We knew that. A thing that is or is likely to be wrongly perceived Now that's interesting. Or interpreted by the senses, a deceptive appearance or impression, a false idea or belief Now that is really interesting to me. That's the piece that I'd like to reframe, because I think when people hear the word illusion, that's exactly where they go, because we've made this definition that it's something wrongly perceived. But where's the definition where it's like the illusion, like the illusion, there's an optical illusion, perception of something objectively existing in such a way as to cause misinterpretation. What does it mean when you have illusions? That's so funny. So it's interesting, because everything about the word illusion is negative. So how would we reframe that?

Speaker 1:

When I listened to this book you know this book was very interesting to me. And when he said that, when he said life is images of the mind expressed, and he also talked about life is an illusion. And maybe it's because I'm just going to start pondering here, hang in with me all. Often in the book it said life is an illusion, life is an illusion. Often in the book it said life is an illusion, life is an illusion. And because these images expressed, as I talked about in the last episode, when you feed your mind with a bunch of negativity, then what shows up in your world? A bunch of negativity. When you feed your mind with a bunch of local news, when you feed your mind with a bunch of propaganda that's all over social media, when you feed your mind with all of that. That is all that can continue to occur, because what your brain perceives, that it sees, it perceives it as real and then, all of a sudden, that's what starts to show up in your world. You know you can listen to all of the feel good things you know and they talk about. You know, you know life. You become what you eat, you become what you watch, you become what you hear. So isn't that some form of illusion?

Speaker 1:

But let's take back control of the illusion, and I said this in the last episode. Let's take the control back of that illusion. You want to be out of debt? Then you've got to create thought, forms and feelings and emotions that no longer sit within poverty. Thinking you want to have more peace and joy in your life, Then you got to figure out what's it going to take for you to stop having the feelings, the emotions consuming whatever it is that you're consuming in your life, around you. You're going to have to figure out how to say no to it and then start to feed yourself with that which feels good.

Speaker 1:

And I know so many people are going to hear this and say it's not that easy, tara, and you know what. It is not that easy, but if it's what you're really committed to, if it's what you really want, that's what you have to do, like, you have to get real with yourself, and then you have to trust, know and believe that what you're about to embark on, that what you're about to take on, is actually going to work for you, because, see, this life is always working for you. That's even the mindset in which you need to shift. This life is always working for you. The only person working against it is ourselves. Life is always in flow. The universe is always providing what you want. Always in flow. The universe is always providing what you want.

Speaker 1:

Here's the other piece. It may not look like what you wanted, but I promise you you get everything you ask for. You get everything you think about, you get all of it. But the funny thing is is often we miss it because it looks different than what we thought we wanted, than the way that we perceived it. Okay, what's a good example of that? Let me get a good example. I feel like I have to stay on topic here, but I get really passionate about this stuff, so I want to stay on topic, okay. The first thing that comes to my mind is like romantic relationships, okay, romantic relationships.

Speaker 1:

So a lot of times we have been trained write down your list, the list of what you want. Who is it, what is it? What's it look like? Get clear, I want him to be this height and that, and he does this and he does that, and he wears this and he wears that and he drives this and he lives here and he has this job and he talks to me in this way and he brings me these things and, like you can go on and on and on and on and on. Okay, now, when you write those lists, how many of you?

Speaker 1:

To be truthful, you actually have an image of what you think this person looks like or how you want them to look right, of what you think this person looks like or how you want them to look right. You have an image of who they are, what they do. You have this image and that image gets ingrained. Like you see it, you see it right. Now you then forget that you did that. Or I don't want to say you forget that you did that, but you, you move on to other things in your life, move on to other things and you you're like okay, I made my list, I created that, and you go on about your business and all of a sudden, let's just say, a friend of yours steps into your world. This person's a friend. You've only ever seen them as a friend, nothing more, nothing less. And yet they feel or I should say they, they, they check all those boxes. Okay, and this friend actually admires you very much, likes you, and they check all the boxes. And then some.

Speaker 1:

Now do any of you think that maybe you might just walk by that friend thinking that's just a friend, he's just my friend, he or she's my friend? All the while that friend may be thinking of you like man, I'd love to be with that person, but maybe they don't quite know how to say it. Or maybe they've alluded to it, but you're just so clueless because you're over here thinking about this other idea and and figment of I shouldn't say figment but you're thinking of this other idea of who this person needs to look like. Or maybe this person walks up to you because they have been friends with you and they confess that you know, I've had all these feelings for you. I feel this way about you, and you're looking at this person going well, yeah, they check all the boxes, but ew, this is my friend Can't do that. They check all the boxes, but ew, this is my friend Can't do that All the while. Maybe this person was always supposed to be your person, but it didn't show up the way you thought it was going to show up. Why am I sharing this? I'm sharing this because one of the things that you okay, let me get clear.

Speaker 1:

There are two very important steps in this process. Okay, the first step is you have to give up the outcome and what it's going to look like. Okay, if you jump into this opportunity of you creating your world, creating your illusion and the illusion of your dreams, and let's just go ahead and we're going to, we're going to reframe illusion I know that the definition of illusion is very negative, but let's just say we are living in quite the negative world at the moment geopolitically. Okay, there we go. There are two really important things that you have to do, and one of them is to give up the outcome in the way it's going to look. Give up the way it's going to look. And the next thing, like I said earlier, is you have to trust, know and believe in the process, and you have to know and believe that you yes, you are the power to create a world that you live into, that you step into, that fills your cup with joy, with peace, with pleasure and with happiness.

Speaker 1:

And yes, it's going to take some work, it is not going to be easy, and the work is guess what? The work is you. The work is you being accountable to you, you looking at yourself every day in the mirror and being your raw truth, with the raw truth of who you are with yourself. That's going to also mean that you're gonna have to peel some layers of your onion, because there might be some things that are reflected to you that you may not be wanting to look at, or that you may have been ignoring, or that you didn't even realize was there.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so, first things first, you have the power to do this work. You have the power to step into your world and to step into your realm and say you know what? This is what I want, this is how I want to feel, this is how I want to shape and shift my world, and I'm going to say how it goes. I am not going to be at the effect of everybody's emotions, everybody else's needs, everybody else's pulls and tugs. You know, look at a lot of times in the career house. You know, often we get so pulled into that house and we will, we will sacrifice ourselves and forget that we have to find the balance there, because guess what Our family still needs us and guess what we still need ourselves, and without ourselves we cannot be for all these other things. So you have to believe in your truth and in your power.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and the next thing is, like I said, is you have to give up the way the outcome is going to go. You have to give up the way it's going to look and how it's going to come to you. You have to also be open and ready to receive. What does it mean to be open and to be ready to receive? What do I have to give up to be open and ready to receive? Do I have to give up cynicism? Do I have to give up frustration? Give up cynicism. Do I have to give up frustration? Do I have to give up resistance? Like what is it that you have to give up in order to receive? I'll give another example.

Speaker 1:

I had talked about wanting to dive into real estate, and so for years I have had this dream of having multiple properties and you know whether that be Airbnbs or whether that be. Whether it be Airbnbs whether it be so, years ago it used to look like multiple single family homes. Then there was a time when I thought, okay, what about a building with 10 units? And then there was a time recently where I'm like, okay, what about a bunch of Airbnbs? So here I'd been thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and I had. So I bought this property that we live on now. We love it. It's an acre, it's beautiful, it's like my little park in the woods. I love it and I'm happy and it really is a home that ideally, if I had to, I could spend the rest of my life here, if I had to. It's plenty space. I have a space that I can convert to an apartment so my son can live there if he wanted to over time. You know it literally has all that I need if I wanted to live here for the rest of my life.

Speaker 1:

And so for a long time we've been here, a few years now, I've been thinking, okay, I think I want to put like a little Airbnb thing in the back, whether it's a little fifth wheel, that's super cute, and rent that out. Or maybe I want a long-term rental, maybe I want to just put like a small tiny home back there and it'd be like a long-term rental, and or maybe I convert the RV garage to an apartment now and like. So. I had all these ideas and I recently, as you know, I was laid off earlier this year and so I was out of work for nine weeks and that really took a hit. That took a hit on me fiscally and I trust and know that it'll all come back, but it took a hit. And so I was working with this book called 369 Manifestation If you haven't heard of it, check it out, it's awesome and I had been playing with that book during the time of my layoff and I was manifesting.

Speaker 1:

So I was taking time every morning, every afternoon, every night to manifest and really practicing and honing that skill, and that's a hard one to stay committed to for me personally. I mean it is difficult just because of all the things I juggle, but I I was very diligent for several months doing that really good, and one of the things I was focusing on was real estate and owning property. Well, I got this new job and then things kind of went sideways, because then there I am like juggling the job, the boy, the house, the me, all the things. Like juggling all the things and not having, you know, not having my quiet days just to chill out and relax and figure out, oh, what do I want to do? So I had lots of things to do. So, you know, in all honesty, my very ritual schedule of manifesting went a little sideways, and so I still do it, but it's not at that level of rigor. But I have other things in my practice that I have to make sure I do too, which I do, and so it's been a balance of keeping those things alive, right, I was very set, in my way, of how I wanted this to look.

Speaker 1:

Okay, starting a new rental situation on my property. This week I got into a conversation with a dear friend who's a realtor she was my realtor here and we started talking about some things and we were talking about she has an Airbnb and she's been renting it out on this website for things like photo shoots and movies and various things. And she turned me onto the website and I was like, holy shit, holy shit, she's like, you know, you could be renting off out your property. You know that, right, you could just rent out the property Like people could come do photo shoots and people couldn't have a party, or people can come do these things on your property. You know you could do that on that site. You'd be surprised and in that moment I was like holy F balls. There it is, there it is.

Speaker 1:

And so I went to the website that she was referring to, started doing some research and realized you know what it actually would do? Really well, because there are some people doing it, but not many, and I might be able to just throw it on there right now and start making money without having to invest a whole lot. And there's a couple of things I'd like to invest because I don't want people to come through a certain part of my property. I want them to go around to enter that back half of the property, and that would not take much of an investment. But I realized, oh my God, like I could start that right now. But I had to give up what it was going to look like. I had to trust in the process that what I set out to create is going to happen. It always does. I just have to be open and willing to receive it in the form in which it comes. Okay, being open to receive it in the form in which it comes. So I just want to wrap this up for a second and then we will dive into another aspect of this process and get a little deeper into.

Speaker 1:

You know, what's it going to take for you to be able to fully stand in a level of accountability and begin to really create from that space, and what are the things that you'll have to give up. You know, is it time that you'll give up? Is it anger that you'll give up? Is it resentment that you're going to give up? Like we're going to have to look at that. That's. That's what's next, like yeah. So I said here's what you got to do, here's, here's the why, here's what you got to do. Now, how do you do that? How do you do that? How do you get real with yourself and say okay, okay, yeah. And how are you able to take an area of your life, look at it, acknowledge it, stay accountable for it and then say you know what? These are the things stopping me from having that life, that vision, that reality? So we can take this illusion that you have and we can turn it into the life of your dreams. Maybe that's how we, that's how we reframe it is taking the illusion that we have right now and turning that into the life of your dreams. You know, because you are the architect of your life, you get to say and have whatever you desire.

Speaker 1:

I would say I would look at relationships, romantic relationships, and I might share a little bit about that, but I'm still working through that, and I had something show up today that was really beautiful and totally out of left field and not anything that I was going to expect. But I've been manifesting and really working hard in this area. But who I've had to look at is myself, and I've had to do deep dives on myself, and I had an episode that I had out here earlier that I actually took down because I realized I had a lot more work before I had any business talking about it. But this is what I'm saying. So I hope that something of what I shared today resonated. I feel like it was a little all over the place and, as I continue to do these episodes, I'll get better at more concise communication, but sometimes I just have to let my mind flow and go and just go with it and trust and know and believe in the process.

Speaker 1:

And the process is when you are looking to create a life in which you feel fulfilled, in which you feel peace, in which you feel bliss, in which you feel heard, in which you feel loved, in which you feel cherished, adored, whatever it is like, whatever it is for you that you want to fill those things, you have to stop and look in the mirror and you have to get really straight and really accountable with yourself and you have to peel some layers of the onion that may not feel good, they may not smell good, and only then, from there, can you then break out the whiteboard and start creating what it is you want. But we have to get all those little nuggets of goop out of the way. So then we have like a really clear slate of you know whiteboard to create on. So I'm going to leave you with that today. I'm going to dive in a little deeper next week or in the next couple of weeks, but we're going to look at those areas in which you know how do you stand up and hold yourself to be accountable, how do you look at yourself in that way and how do you allow yourself to really get out of the way so that you can be open to the allowance of what the universe is going to bring you? Because you do get everything you ask for. That's why you have to be careful what you ask for. You ever heard that saying careful what you wish for, because you literally get everything you ask for. But the funny thing is is we're real sloppy about how we ask and half the time we're completely unconscious to what we're asking. And this is how you're going to become a conscious creator Consciously getting in the know of who you are, consciously getting into the roots of the truths of who you are, staying wildly accountable and then creating from a beautiful blank slate of paper. All right, so I'm going to leave you with that until next time.

Speaker 1:

I just want to say thank you, oh, but I did want to throw out. I am offering an opportunity for people, um those of you who are interested in working with me and giving out a complimentary discovery call. It will be 30 minutes. There is a link in the show notes below for Calendly. You can go ahead and set that up and I look forward to working with any of you. It's a complimentary 30 minute discovery call. My only ask in return is that you just give a review on the experience of it. So that's, that's what I'm. That's what I'm looking for and that's what I'm offering. I do hope some of you will take advantage of that.

Speaker 1:

But I look forward to our next episode, where we dive a little deeper into how do you hold yourself accountable and how do you remove those blocks or those, those things that you discover about yourself? How do you remove those out of the way such that you can step into this space, a space of full creation and full truth of yourself and then creating that life of your dreams? Have a blessed and beautiful week and I look forward to seeing y'all soon. Take care. Thank you for coming on this healing adventure today. If you're starting to see how everything is falling into place for you, consider rating the show and sharing it with one of your friends. Keep that spirit alive and join me next week. Same place, same time. Have a great week.